Heat stroke - I know this is the accepted medical term for the terminal phase of heat related illness, but a lot of folks think that it is somehow related to the other strokes that are so much more common (clot related stroke or hemorrhagic stroke). In any event, you are hit by a stroke of bad luck, if any one of them hits you.

Hay fever - It's allergy due to whatever that is in the environment. Nothing to do with fever.

Pre-qualified - You have been chosen. You are pre-qualified for our Uber Ultimate Titanium Plus credit card. Pre-qualified makes you, and a million other suckers, feel special. But, it means jack shit. You are still a nothing. You're not even pre-approved.

Near miss - Yes, we know what it means. It's a close call. But, at first glance, it means the opposite, a collision.


What else are out there?

Chicken Pox

Oh yeah, and ring worm - It's a fungus, folks. There's no worm in there.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:

Near miss - Yes, we know what it means. It's a close call. But, at first glance, it means the opposite, a collision.

Link to original video: https://youtu.be/zDKdvTecYAM

Well, needless to say (but I'll say anyway), I'm sweating like a pig (pigs don't sweat), but one of my rules of thumb (?) is that when I hear "heads up" I duck (down instead of up)!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: mikeyspizza,

Breaking news.

Dry cleaning - Even though water isn't used, your clothes are still getting wet by the solvents used to clean them.

Driveway = a place to park.
Parkway = a place to drive.

Illegal Immigrant.

I slept like a baby...


You mean you woke up every two hours screaming with your pants full and your belly empty?

jumbo shrimp

plastic silverware

Elevator.

Going up, sure. But...

Throwin' shade. Dude, it's 101 outide! Trow me some dat!

Sweating like a hog(pig).

Pre-owned
Apartments

Reduced down.
Raised up.

1:30AM in the morning or 3:30PM in the afternoon.

Does it burn up, or burn down?

Why are they called apartments? They're all stuck together.

Hot water heater. No. Wrong. It's a water heater. Why would you heat already hot water?

All the news that's fit to print. You know who. Yeah right, bullshit in print.

"I could care less"-- which means that you care. ("Couldn't care less.")

"Previously owned." It's fucking USED. Might as well call vomit "previously digested."

"Pre-recorded." It's recorded. Unless you have something that was done before it was recorded.

Filmed before a LIVE studio audience.

I've always liked "sweating like a whore on nickle night".

Actually, there is no contradiction there, I've always just kid of liked the ring of it.