* For those who don't have teenagers to translate: Ghosted equates to being electronically ignored.



A good (I thought) online friend recently cut himself off from another board we are both mods at. The details don't matter, but he felt that the admins did not support a banning decision he wanted to make.

Over the past few months he has been logging in and deleting/editing literally every post in his history and is no longer communicating with anyone on the board.

We have been friends for years, to the point where we would often talk on the phone just to catch up. I've seen people carry a grudge before, and can even understand to a point why he is deleting his online history there, but I am surprised, (and even a little hurt) that he will not respond to my PM's. While he is no longer on the staff, I am and can see when he logs in every day.

Obviously I'm going to let this go, he knows how to reach me in the future if he chooses, but this is new territory for me. It really reenforces what we have here at SigForum when we talk about our 'online family'.

Anyone else ever have this happen?

Never "ghosted", but I am old enough to remember people who took their ball and went home. Same thing.

Sounds like your friend got a little puzzled up and was at the point where the issue (or his feeling of not being backed up on it) was more important than the relationships. That is too bad. Hopefully he calms down at some point and re-engages.

Yes. In those cases I review the online relationship and determine whether I have done anything to antagonize that individual. It is passive aggressive behavior pure and simple and I do not lose sleep over that.

Electronic communication does have limitations, and misunderstanding is one of them. One can either chose to work out the problem or just ghost the other individual.

I was a admin/foundera on a regional car forum. 4 adim,founders. I had an epiphany one evening and resigned. Walked away. At the time i was starting a business, 2 kids in preschool, wife working 80 hours a week. I felt like i was carrying 90% of the responsibilities. I walked. I was called a few nasty things. Turns out i like my life with my wife and kids more than car people spread over a 4 state region.

This last election cycle i found out how many facebook "freinds" were freinds. Went from 200 ish, mostly extended family, to 80. They were quick to point out to mutual remaining freinds that it was my fault. And that i could come back if i/we (wife and i share fb account) just take back our support for trump.

Good on him, cut his losses. If it is a childish cut he may grow up. If it is cutting dead weight, others can do the growing

Ha! They have a name for that! And just electronically? I'm often ignored.

I've not noticed if anyone has ever ghosted me. But I have made decisions to break away from one long time friend. And I don't have too many friends to begin with.

I figured the relationship isn't benefiting me and is just a waste of my time and energy.

quote:

* For those who don't have teenagers to translate: Ghosted equates to being electronically ignored.

I've heard the term recently and was wondering what that meant.

I don't really do social media stuff so ghosting wouldn't come into the picture for me. Although I do get emails ignored by people at work.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
Ghosted equates to being electronically ignored.

Hell, I don't need the internet for that to happen.

No, but I did unfriend someone yesterday. A Home Depot Asst. Mgr. I worked with a number of years ago popped up on Facebook so I friended him. All he does is share/post an endless barrage of anti-Trump stuff that he gets from somewhere else, with not an original thought added. And, he's a Naval Academy graduate. To hell with him.

There might not be cause to take it personally. There have been a few times over the years, when I was heavily involved in gaming and communities around the games I played, where I got fed up with situations and just wanted to become a complete non-participant in the community, even if I continued to lurk the forums some and just observe. I think I'd of replied to PMs, but maybe your friend just can't bring himself to talk about any of it currently.

Not injecting politics here but after the results of the last election I was "ghosted" by quite a few folks. Some I had literally known for twenty years or more, in some cases very well.

In the end, it's not about you. It's kinda sad but it's their loss.

I participate in what I call "Unfriendly Friday".
If folks on my FB account follow but don't share anything other than BS memes (nothing personal, nothing about what they're doing) vs keeping their "friends" up to speed with what's up in their life, then they're gone.

I use FB to keep in touch with friends.
Gotta be more than one sided sharing.
But if someone wants to be an ass - gone as well.
Life's too short to waste a day on an ass. YMMV

I guess if I was a kiddie on Facebook, Twatter and all of that shit I would care, but alas I am not so ghost away as far as I am concerned.

Not important, as far as I'm concerned.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
Not important, as far as I'm concerned.

It is important to me, so I guess I have to disagree with you on that. This was a near 5 year friendship that has seemingly ended with no warning.

As some have suggested, I’ve really thought about whether I could have said/done something that caused offense...I just don’t know.

At the end of the day, I have to believe that as he cuts ties with the forum, that means cutting ties with the staff members who did not back his desire to ban someone whom he felt wronged him.

Disappointing, but important to me none-the-less.

did you call him by chance?

quote:

Originally posted by lyman:
did you call him by chance?

He lives in England now. I am not going to hound the man, both my PMs and emails have gone unanswered.

Maybe someday in the future he will re-connect with me and let me know the “why behind the what”