I cannot believe the politics involved in children’s sports.
Wow.

The competition is intense, to the point of murder plotting.

quote:

Originally posted by irreverent:
I cannot believe the politics involved in children’s sports.
Wow.

Not sure the age group of your kids, but if they are not yet in High School you haven't seen the worse unfortunately. The older they get the more parents misbehave.

Jesus.
You guys are both scaring me more.

He’s 9.

quote:

Originally posted by irreverent:
Jesus.
You guys are both scaring me more.

He’s 9.

Listen to them. I coached boy's baseball for almost ten years. The BS I saw and dealt with during that time was insane. My son's high school baseball coach was one of the biggest POS I have ever dealt with in my 50+ years on this planet. How I didn't drop that POS on his ass during the four years my son was on his team is still a mystery to me.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
The competition is intense, to the point of murder plotting.

If I saw that as the description of a made for TV movie, I would pass as the plot is so ridiculously farfetched. Wow.

It is insane at times. Here in Alabama (much like the rest of the states I imagine) everything around sports from a very young age is political. Youth sports in Birmingham (I hope your area is different) has always seemed like there are a special set of guys (girls as well) that are trying to re-live their high school sports glory days through their kids.

We know who most of the parents are here in Helena and have often try to find the best coach that hasn't "stacked" his team with "ringer" 12 year olds. Our kids (who arent too shabby) have enjoyed it so far but by the time they hit middle and high school that's when the bull$hit really hits the fan. We have encouraged them to play harder and listen to their coaches and for the most part they do. The biggest detractor is the parents....so far we've only had a couple fights but thankfully none have involved the refs or officials.

The question is "when are these great ex-high school athletes going to wake up and realize their 15 minutes are up and its their kids turn. In a word......Pathetic

It actually wasn't too bad when I refereed hockey. I had only one bad experience with one coach and I wrote a scathing letter to the league officials recommending his removal. I'm now officiating USTA and ITA tennis...ITA has a designated referee as part of the crew and I really haven't seen any major issues at the collegiate level. I've been Deputy Referee for several USTA youth events and haven't had any issues to date. This weekend will be my first Nationals tournament, so my streak may end. Again...I've been told the parents are the issue and their attitude is passed on to the kid. We'll see...

My daughter had a prison guard for a coach who was a remarkable asshole. He was just unrelentingly abusive. I was taking it upon myself to report him to the school when covid hit and then he switched schools and went to high school level. If I see him again coaching my child we will be discussing his past efforts.

quote:

Originally posted by irreverent:
Jesus.
You guys are both scaring me more.

He’s 9.

You and your kid will be fine. Just take youth sports for what they are. Don’t try to live vicariously through him or let your ego get in the way of his enjoyment.

I have been coaching youth sports, including football, baseball and archery for 11 years now.

Parents are the worst part of youth sports and yeah, there is a lot of politics. The real problem is that there is a lot of money involved. My brother is the AD for a high school and says that the money in baseball in particular is becoming problematic and that lower income kids are having a hard time being able to play. Youth sports is quickly becoming a business. I’ve witnessed a stolen election at a cities youth baseball program because the old president wouldn’t let board members who own businesses profit off of the league.

At the high school my friends kids go to it’s $900 a year to play baseball and that doesn’t include transportation, which the school doesn’t even offer. They don’t even get to keep their jerseys and the kids have to work the fields and parents have to work concessions and operate the scoreboard. They have to provide all of their own equipment. All the school provides is baseballs. Playing on the football team at the same school only costs $400 and they get all the equipment, pre-game meals transportation to every game and the parents don’t work anything.

Actually the worst people at any field are the random uncles that show up. There’s nothing worse than some woman with three kids and three baby daddy’s bringing her brother to a game.

But despite the many instances I’ve had with parents over the years and my general concern that youth sports is becoming more about money than kids, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. My kids have learned a lot and I take a lot of satisfaction helping kids learn the sports I love.

My BIL and nephew refereed youth soccer. THey said the abuse from parents, even to my teenaged nephew, was insane. They stopped reffing.

I just don't understand sports in America. Sports are supposed to build character. Teamwork. Sports are supposed to be fun. It's still like this in other areas - when I visit Japan, for example.

I just don't get the attitude here though. I used to watch minor league and little league games. Then I stopped minor league. Then had to stop little league as well. People take the fun out of sports, even just watching it.

Kids sports are no longer for the kids enjoyment both physical and mental growth. IF their kids do not get star play time and have to sit on the bench to allow other kids their turn the parents... then when they do not agree with the coaches as well as the referees the come out of the stands and go on the attack mode and physically attack to vent their displeasure....... Showing the children how to be a--holes on the sports field of atheltic compatation. ............................................................... drill sgt.

I will say that I think it depends as much on the sport as it does the personality of the parent. I don't have kids, but I do help out with youth programs at my gun club (IWLA). They have a very strong air rifle program that draws a lot of kids and parents and the overwhelming objective is that every participant gets better, not just at marksmanship, but in helping your fellow shooters get better too. Yes, there are parents that are "too invested" in how their kid is doing, but they are a small minority, and generally regarded as misguided.

Fuck that. My daughters are not doing any team sports.

It's gonna be individual track and field, fencing, archery, kendo, or jujitsu or something else that is entirely based on single person performance. Maybe cross country, since it's mostly just individual times as well.

quote:

Originally posted by Aeteocles:
Fuck that. My daughters are not doing any team sports.

It's gonna be individual track and field, fencing, archery, kendo, or jujitsu or something else that is entirely based on single person performance. Maybe cross country, since it's mostly just individual times as well.

I hate to bust your bubble but several of those are still team sports. The teams ability to progress to the next tournament or event may very well be based on a cumulative score. And if you get an asshole parent then you’ll get an asshole parent. Your kid doesn’t shoot well one day at archery or has a bad day on the track? An asshole parent who will complain about your kid striking out at a baseball game will complain about that too.

But why are you keeping them from other sports that you consider team sports anyway? Because they might run into an asshole? Because they might fail and let the team down or because someone on the team might fail instead?

I think youth team sports are important teaching tools. But you, as the parent, you gotta be the parent. You can’t trust the coaches to teach them the values they need to learn. If you are lucky you’ll get a great coach but IMHO your kid can learn as much or more from a bad one as long as you are there to help them learn the lessons.

It’s your kid but I’d at least let them try a team sport if they want to. Just don’t be one of the many parents that drops them off at the field and sits in their car the whole practice. Be involved. Volunteer if you can, virtually every youth program needs help.

OMG the things I saw in youth hockey. One parent video taped every game, then played it back and complained that his kid got a minute less ice time per game.

my ex golf buddy was a coach for girls basketball and he was obsessed with it, starting recruiting kids when they were toddlers, they truly have ruined kids sports trying to turn them into super stars. both of his daughters were not allowed to do the things they wanted to it was basketball or else. sad

I had a conversation a few yeas ago with a knife manufacturer who produces for a number of specific clients, including special operators. He also coached little league. He told me at the time that nothing mattered more than the team winning.

He vehemently disagreed with my position, as father to several kids who were in little league at the time. It's about what the kids take away, what they lean from the experience, and learning that its all about winning is not what is imporant. Learning to enjoy, to try hard, to accept both winning and losing with grace, to act as a team, and to support others when they win, are important. And yes, every kid that learns and embraces those lessons does come away a winner. The competition isn't just against the other team, but against self, and accomplishing any of those things is a victory, no matter the score.

I simply asked my kids, did they have fun. I didn't care the score. I did care how they played.

The coach in the conversation argued that no, the sissification and pussification of America lay in the attitudes of those such as myself, that kids had to learn it's all about winning.

Bullshit. It's attitudes of coaches and parents like him, that are the problem. Win at all costs works well in a fight to the death. It's not necessarily the best lesson in the development of a child in a childhood play-game.

Sports can be vehicles for learning. They're useful for exercise, and they entertain. At the end of the day, they're still a game. It's playing. It's not combat. It's not life. It's just a game. A toy.

Some lose sight of that.

I made it clear to my kids that they could play only after what was important was addressed; homework, housework, and other things that mattered. I also made clear that it was important to take time from work, to play. When important things were done, then they could play, and in the end, I made clear that I didn't care who won, but I did care about them, and I did care about the ability to put it behind them at the end of the day. I also taught them, and firmly believe, that trying ones best does count, regardless of the outcome. Don't give up, don't stop trying, but yes, it really is okay to live one's life and not be in first place.

Were it really true that only winning really matters, then most of us, the vast majority, would be the losers, and without meaning or value, and that, frankly, is the worst kind of bullshit.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sns3guppy,

Once one realizes that the true competition is with ones self and not others.... there is the real chance to learn and grow.