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Picture of Rick Lee
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I broke this rule and just got lucky and it all worked out. But if I were to do it over again, I would not date and certainly would not marry a woman with more problems than I have. That means she needs to be financially secure and not have family that she needs help supporting. I don't like to admit it, but I think it may be true that Mrs. Lee and I have lasted so long because we made about equal money for so long and shared in the bills. I make a lot more now and take on more of the bills. But neither of us is a gravy train to the other. And either one of us disappearing would greatly impact the other's lifestyle and finances.
 
Posts: 3572 | Location: Cave Creek, AZ | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of wrightd
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Wisdom right there. Money disparities become more pronounced as the cost of living skyrockets.




Lover of the US Constitution
Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster
 
Posts: 8724 | Location: Nowhere the constitution is not honored | Registered: February 01, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of sourdough44
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Thanks, of course I’m mostly on my own, ok.

I just threw it out as discussion.

I promise an after action report, could be a while though.

I know you guys would like her.
 
Posts: 6197 | Location: WI | Registered: February 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
thin skin can't win
Picture of Georgeair
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I've read the OP a couple times trying to reconcile.
You say you've been there three times in 9 months, yet others are talking about things like if you trust and know what's up then go for it.

Unless the three visits in 9 months were three months each, how the heck would you know anything more than this is an available mail-order bride. Is that what we're talking about here, and what others supporting have experienced and done?

Normal marriage is already enough of a gamble after many hours, days, months and years getting to know each other. Anything short of that feels like life-savings-on-red activity.
Confused



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

 
Posts: 12458 | Location: Madison, MS | Registered: December 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of sourdough44
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I may be relegated to the after action report.

If it turns south, I tried.
 
Posts: 6197 | Location: WI | Registered: February 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of ftttu
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Someone was kicking this issue around in the last couple of months over in GT. From my memory, there were more nays than yays. I’m a former USMC, and I’ve heard the negatives like others here. Your call, Sir.


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Posts: 1184 | Location: Texas | Registered: March 03, 2016Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of dan03833
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I'm hitting the 15 year mark with my wife in three days. She's from the Philippines, got her citizenship 13 years ago. I had no interest in getting married until I met her. If you are searching internationally for a wife, the Philippines is a good choice. Do your due diligence though, be wary of scammers. Some may expect you to help financially support their immediate family.
 
Posts: 1541 | Location: Rhode Island | Registered: February 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of sourdough44
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Thanks Dan, yes I’m beyond the scammers, well beyond.

I know, no one here can add much about the situation. I’ll keep checking things out.
 
Posts: 6197 | Location: WI | Registered: February 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eye on the
Silver Lining
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I think if you’re asking us, you’ve already got some alarms going off.

As someone said, her not being already/ever being married, is kind of a signal in itself.

I remember being on vacation in Grand Cayman and having someone wait on us at a restaurant on the beach. It was a young woman and she wanted to tell me her sob story from the Philippines and how she had to send money home and how hard it was with all her little kids and extended family, and she sat there, looking frail and sad and lovely, like she wanted me to adopt her. Yikes. .
And I’m a chick.


__________________________

"Trust, but verify."
 
Posts: 5363 | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just because you can,
doesn't mean you should
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Somehow, I don't see this ending well.
Just a hunch.


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Posts: 9557 | Location: NE GA | Registered: August 22, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of sourdough44
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Her not being married is a flag? I asked her a bunch about that, her answer was she wanted to be sure before doing so.

Even if you think she could be ‘hiding the husband’, can’t be doing that to get a visa to come here.

I’ll keep exploring.

OBTW, I take no offense to any comments. She is north of 30 years old.
 
Posts: 6197 | Location: WI | Registered: February 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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If you do this, may we still be teasing you for your decision at your Golden Anniversary.


===
I would like to apologize to anyone I have *not* offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.
 
Posts: 2078 | Location: The Sticks in Wisconsin. | Registered: September 30, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eye on the
Silver Lining
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quote:
Originally posted by sourdough44:
Her not being married is a flag? I asked her a bunch about that, her answer was she wanted to be sure before doing so.

Even if you think she could be ‘hiding the husband’, can’t be doing that to get a visa to come here.

I’ll keep exploring.


I’m not trying to offend, and I don’t know as much about the culture as you, but leftysig (as well as others) had some enlightening comments..
The culture seems to encourage family. I have no clue what age we are talking, but I sense it might be a bit older, and it seems as though very trad values are encouraged, so not being married would mean for some reason she swam against the stream. And you’re saying she’s off the charts amazing, so that might indicate a lot of potential suitors. Again, in a culture that promotes family and marriage, it seems strange that no one offered, or that she declined all comers. That’s all.

I wish you the best, and I hope it all works out well.


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Posts: 5363 | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of slyguy
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All I have is second hand experience with friends who have visited and one with established residence in the Philippines.

All of them have had great experiences with the women and agree that their culture places high value on family and their individual outlook on life are usually very positive.

No one knows exactly your likes, situation in life, and circumstances but life is always moving. I say trust your gut.

Cheers~
 
Posts: 909 | Location: Valley Oregon | Registered: May 23, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of ruger357
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I would get the prenup signed and get her a full physical before I did anything else. Can she come for a trial run before you marry?


-----------------------------------------

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Posts: 7964 | Location: Hoover, AL | Registered: November 06, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of sourdough44
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quote:
Originally posted by ruger357:
I would get the prenup signed and get her a full physical before I did anything else. Can she come for a trial run before you marry?


I may lean a prenup, iron clad, her own lawyer, etc. The reason is to lock in past assets, going forward, few worries.

With the 129F fiancé visa, one is supposed to get married within 90 days, so that’s the real trial period, other than the regular meets over there.

Part of that process is a full physical in Manila.
 
Posts: 6197 | Location: WI | Registered: February 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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It was 25 years ago or so I had 2 coworkers go that route and they are still happy and enjoying the grandkids.
YMMV


“Let us dare to read, think, speak and write.”

John Adams
 
Posts: 325 | Location: Land of 10000 Taxes | Registered: March 19, 2022Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of dan03833
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quote:
Originally posted by sourdough44:
Thanks Dan, yes I’m beyond the scammers, well beyond.

I know, no one here can add much about the situation. I’ll keep checking things out.


It's difficult to describe my positive experience outside a two way live conversation. But you know your experience and facts. At some point you may just have to trust and make the leap. In my case we talked daily for roughly 9 months. We were both very honest about who we are, our life situations, what we wanted and expectations for our future. We got engaged the day we met in person and married 9 days later. We're still happily married 15 years later.
 
Posts: 1541 | Location: Rhode Island | Registered: February 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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