It has been recently suggested that I reach out and ask to stay at a friend's house for a weekend.

In my mind, that is rude and presumptuous. In her mind it is no big deal.

Am I that out of touch? What are your thoughts?

edited to add
Clarifications:

1. She = wife
2. She suggested reaching out
3. Would be a weekend get away type situation, no lost apartment or house
4. I have frustrated her with this thread even though it supports my position
5. The friend is not who suggested the stay at the friend's house
6. I feEl calling to ask about hotels in the area is a bit of a troll for an invitation and refuse that too


Thanks, no more replies needed.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ffips,

It’s rude but honestly I run across fewer people with manners that would know that.

quote:

Originally posted by ffips:
It has been recently suggested that I reach out and ask to stay at a friend's house for a weekend.

It depends how good the friends is / what the situation is. It most cases it's presumptuous, but not all.

quote:

It depends how good the friends is

This. If you are one of my few true/best friends you don't need to ask, you are welcome.

If not, then yes, its rude.

The thought of doing such a thing would never enter my mind. That anybody would think doing so anything short of rude and presumptuous quite honestly astonishes me.

Rude. Next question.

Never invite yourself.

quote:

Is it rude to invite yourself to stay at someone's house?

yes

Yes, it is. No exceptions.

invite yourself? yea that's rude. ask? well, if I hear any friends of mine are coming to town I'll offer.

For a true friend, with a real need, there need not be a question. Otherwise, presumptuous == rude == yes.

quote:

Originally posted by architect:
For a true friend, with a real need, there need not be a question. Otherwise, presumptuous == rude == yes.

This.

Rude.
That being said what kind of straits are you in? A true friend would take you in a matter what if your circumstances were dire, and expect you to let them know if that were the case. Reach out if you need that friend and their support.

Most likely. Depends on how good the friend and the purpose of the visit. Want to stay and hang out with them, it may be acceptable, assuming you are very good, perhaps life long friends.

Don't know them too well and or just want to crash at their place while you go out and do things, very rude.

I prefer to stay in a hotel even when visiting, I like my own space.

If you have to even hesitate at all to consider asking them then they are not close enough friends to ask.

It is rude.

If you're asking for an opinion here, then you probably already know the answer.

quote:

Originally posted by ffips:
It has been recently suggested that I reach out and ask to stay at a friend's house for a weekend.

In my mind, that is rude and presumptuous. In her mind it is no big deal.

Am I that out of touch? What are your thoughts?

Who is suggesting this, and why are they fucking with you?

No, you don't invite yourself over to someone elses house.

Okay, honestly not suprised by the replies. They are in line with mine.

Sometimes the wife and I disagree on these types of things. There have been times in the past when I was out of touch.

Just a sanity check. Thank you all.

Depends on the situation, and how close you are to them.

Asking a loose acquaintance to come crash at their house for the weekend because they live by the beach and you want a vacation? Rude.

Asking your best friend if you can come crash at their house because you had to move out of your apartment by Friday, but your new place won't be ready until Monday? Not rude.

quote:

Originally posted by ffips:
It has been recently suggested that I reach out and ask to stay at a friend's house for a weekend.

In my mind, that is rude and presumptuous. In her mind it is no big deal.

Am I that out of touch? What are your thoughts?

It isn’t immediately clear if the person suggesting is the friend with the house, that is more like an open invitation. If the person suggesting is not the friend with the house you might consider gifting her a copy of something written by Emily Post.

Depending on the relationship, it might not be unreasonable to get in touch with the friend with the house and ask for hotel recommendations in the area and if they might be around in whatever timeframe and available to come out to dinner. The friend is free to invite or recommend hotels.

$0.02