quote:

Originally posted by bdylan:
Well, you have to look at it objectively. Maybe you aren't the problem. You've already indicated that you are able to refrain in certain settings. Perhaps certain stressors (idiots) are responsible for this habit you've developed. Maybe the entire condition is predicated on your environment. The actual solution might be to simply work on your reactions to whatever the stimulus is that results in swearing. 10 seconds before responding to idiocy?

Environment is a factor. One former place of employment had shop floor management that was adversarial, crude and rude to anyone below them. Subordinates acted accordingly. I was in QA/QC so we caught it doubly and most likely responded in the same poor manner as well. When I left there, I remarked later to a former coworker that I sure didn’t cuss as much. His response was that another supervisor who had also left had made the same observation.....

As others have said, for me it’s a habit. I too can turn it off at will (it would upset my mother). Sometimes there’s not really another choice to convey the message without it though.

I stopped most of my cussing when I gave up golf.

Seriously, I only swear when I'm in the company of guys who are using four letter words regularly in our conversations. I think that's from my time in the Army.

Jim

While not directly related, I am more concerned with what message is communicated, than the actual words used.

A foul worded message can be less offensive than one spoken in Miss Grammar's perfect toungue.

Just be decent, I'll gladly overlook any course words.

I've found that curse words can be a more efficient way to communicate some thoughts than using more polite language.

quote:

So why is it that sometimes it shuts off naturally, and some times it seems impossible to shut off?

Perhaps an idea. Take a quick pause before answering or speaking, thinking to yourself or speak to yourself "do not swear."

I'm not totally offended by those who swear. But I do question the intelligence from someone who can't utter a single sentence without using the f-word in its many forms.

I too have had a history of using language that I am ashamed of. I finally had enough and decided to seriously commit to changing the way I speak. I actually gathered my crew at work around and apologized for the way I had been talking. I told them I wanted to change, and that was not the man I wanted to be. They all knew I was a professing Christian, which made the way I spoke even more shameful. I needed to set a much better example. I asked God to help me with this.

I was able to make a very noticeable change and have been pretty consistent. I slip up once in a while, usually when under a lot of stress, but I make an effort to apologize and move forward with the idea that I'm going to continually try to do better.

For my Christian brothers on this thread, we are commanded to speak a certain way and to set a certain example. To think somehow that words don't matter is just simply not true. Using harsh and vulgar language is not pleasing to God.


Ephesians 4:29-32
“29) Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31) Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32) And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

2 Timothy 2:16
“But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness.”

Matthew 12:36-37
36) But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. 37) For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Words, and the way we use them matter.

quote:

Originally posted by bigwagon:
Fuck if I know.

Swearing provides relief denied even to prayer.

Because there's so much to swear about these days?

Cursing is just a bad habit and bad habits are difficult to break. Besides, think how frustrating it would be to slam your thumb in a M1 Garand if you didn't curse.

Thanks for everyone’s replies. I have read each one.

Russ, I like your idea. For the reason you stated, is part of why I wish to stop swearing. I would like to hold myself to a higher standard.

Your surroundings gives your mind the mental cues whether you can swear or not, apparently, in your case.

I need more information in your situation. How broad is your vocabulary? Is English your native language? Are you highly fluent and articulate in the language of profanity or are you like a baby just learning how to speak and can only gurgle, "fuck, fuckity fuck fuck, fucking fuck?" Are the places that you swear, places where other people also swear as a general practice or do they simply tolerate you? Do you feel people pay attention to what you say?

I spent six years as a sailor and pride myself in my ability to string together picturesque and highly eloquent word pictures consisting of profanity. I left the navy and shortly started dating someone who ended up being my wife. One day, someone loaned me their stick shift brand new car on my say so that I knew how to drive stick shit. I couldn't get up on a San Francisco hill after stopping and I was going backwards. My wife started laughing and I looked at her. She said she's known me two years by then and it was the first time she heard me swear. I apparently said, "Shit." If you can only go, "fuckity fuck fuck" and maybe a little more, perhaps it's your default "umm, aah, err" - empty word fillers. Joining a Toastmasters group will help you in that respect; they're big in reducing those word fillers in how people speak.

I think broadening your vocabulary will also give you alternate words and phrasings to use in place of profanity. In the navy during engineroom watches, we weren't allowed to read anything but technical manuals or the dictionary. Each engine room always had the latest unabridged illustrated dictionary. I perused the dictionary a lot learning new words.

While working at Mare Island shipyard, there was this Chinese fellow with a heavy accent. He thought people would understand him more and he would come off as a natural English speaker if his every other utterance was "fuck" or "fucking." Sadly for him, it didn't accomplish that.

In professional business settings where swearing is not the norm, people swear for emphasis to get people's attention on what they're saying. But if it's used too often, it simply desensitizes people and exacerbates the problem of not being heard.

You know you can stop swearing since you don't do it in certain places. If you want to control your swearing, you need to give yourself other options instead of using the crutch of profanity - expand your vocabulary, join a toastmaster group for training in speaking to people, maybe present yourself differently so that people will pay attention to what you have to say without you swearing just to get their attention.

Of course, you may think none of what I said is applicable to you and if that's how you feel, well, fuck you and the horse that rode you. You might as well suck donkey cock. I can add more but you get the picture. Good luck.

When you find your self swearing are the people around swearing too?

When around a group of certain coworkers I find myself swearing more and also notice they swear a lot too.

I only use profanity when nothing else will do, like when you accidentally hit your thumb with a hammer.

Profanity is the effort of a feeble brain to express itself forcibly.

For me, cursing or not cursing is a sign of pain. If my late middle-aged aches and pains are getting to me, I do find myself prone to profane speech. If an event occurs that causes financial pain, such as a car crash, a busted water pipe, etc., I utter profanities. Even the struggles of home projects, when those stretch me to my maximum, result in cursing.

I do believe that the utterances are some kind of engram in my brain, and once initiated, the word pattern comes out.

I do think that God asks that we refrain from speech that offends others, and if our speech does, that I feel ashamed. For that reason, to act in accordance with my beliefs is desirable. Failing so to do, I am left with a self-imposed shame.

For me, one method (if you can call it that) is to read my Bible. I have no idea how reading the Bible affects my speech, but it does. Regular reading changes my speech pattern.

I understand that it is somewhat illogical to consider some words innately immoral. Mr. Carlin's oft-repeated stage act points to this. But, if a word, or a phrase is offensive to my wife, my kids, even my dog, for whatever reason, I think this speech is to be avoided. We are called to live in harmony with one another, and if language separates us, life together is lessened.

Various pains from old injuries and just old age sometimes elicit colorful utterances when I go to stand up. So back a few years ago, our grandkids spent a lot of time around our house. We had a large family gathering one day with everyone sitting around the living room and my 2 year-old granddaughter had been sitting on the floor watching TV for quite a while. She stands up, stretches, puts he hands on her back, and says "Awww, Shit!". Everyone in the room looks at me, of course, but I swear I don't recall uttering those words in her presence. But then my wife informed me that I do it just about every time I get up. The words become such a part of the lexicon that we don't even notice. To my credit, I have thus far resisted asking for someone to pass the fucking butter at the dinner table.

quote:

Originally posted by Texas Bob C.:
Cursing is just a bad habit and bad habits are difficult to break. Besides, think how frustrating it would be to slam your thumb in a M1 Garand if you didn't curse.

I yell "OW! OW! when I smash my thumb. Truth.

flashguy