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posted
1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U?

Shouldn't it be called double V?

In the case of Volkswagen or VW, would they be called Volksvagenvagen?
1. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
2. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
3. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".
4. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

Confusions still unresolved:
1. At a movie theater or in an aircraft, which arm rest is yours?
2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

Vagaries of English Language!

Ever wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having to practice at the cost of the patients?

Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?

How come Noses run and Feet smell?

Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

Did you know that if you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them?
 
Posts: 11205 | Location: Somewhere north of a hot humid hell in the summer | Registered: January 09, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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You do miss George Carlin, don't you.


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"Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them".
 
Posts: 8228 | Location: Arizona | Registered: August 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Why is it called a butterfly and not a flutterby?
 
Posts: 1242 | Location: NE Indiana  | Registered: January 20, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Why do you park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?


_________________________________________________________________________
“A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.”
-- Mark Twain, 1902
 
Posts: 9355 | Location: Northern Virginia | Registered: November 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
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In the word "scent," which letter is silent, the S or the C?

On the other hand, in the word "queue," all the letters after the Q are silent.
 
Posts: 28959 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Why are they called "Seagulls" when they hang around the bay?

Shouldn't they be called "Baygulls"?


*********
"Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them".
 
Posts: 8228 | Location: Arizona | Registered: August 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nosce te ipsum
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Is steam and fog the same?
 
Posts: 8759 | Registered: March 24, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I can't tell if I'm
tired, or just lazy
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i before e except after c, has been disproven by science.


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Posts: 2116 | Location: South Dakota-pheasant country | Registered: June 20, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Muzzle flash
aficionado
Picture of flashguy
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quote:
Originally posted by tsmccull:
Why is it called a butterfly and not a flutterby?
It probably was intended to be, but the originator suffered from Spoonerism.

quote:
Originally posted by ggile:
i before e except after c, has been disproven by science.
The rule is only applicable when the vowel sound following is "ee". There still a few exceptions, but most are eliminated by using alternative (typically British) pronunciations.

flashguy




Texan by choice, not accident of birth
 
Posts: 27911 | Location: Dallas, TX | Registered: May 08, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Master-at-Arms
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Is farting voluntary, or involuntary? Do we yawn while we are asleep?



Foster's, Australian for Bud

 
Posts: 7517 | Location: Stuck in NY, FUAC  | Registered: November 22, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Do---or do not.
There is no try.
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quote:
Originally posted by GWbiker:
You do miss George Carlin, don't you.


Steven Wright, too! (He’s still out there performing)
 
Posts: 4589 | Registered: January 01, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My other Sig
is a Steyr.
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  • If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? It does. It just doesn't have the desired effect that was intended.
  • Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C? Neither. They both have the same sound and carry pronunciation.
  • Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned? Plans work only when they are subject to change.
  • Because that was the way it was written at the time. Volks + Wagon is an abbreviation. At least you don't have one of these: þ
  • Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work. Usually the lack of oxygen does the trick.
  • At a movie theater or in an aircraft, which arm rest is yours? Whomever claims it first.
  • If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around? They weren't made in His image.
  • Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator? Fridge is an abbreviation for the manufacturer Frigidaire.
  • Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made? The sun was highest at noon. There are three different times that are called 'noon' today.

    Vagaries of English Language!

    Ever wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN? - Depends on who dies.

    Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man? - He didn't show up for a water.

    How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says? - It's not super glue.

    If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches? - Taxes.

    If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat? - Longhorns.

    How do you get off a non-stop Flight? - A parachute with D. B. Cooper.

    Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then? - The 'rush' in rush hour is your blood pressure.

    Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one? - The picture thingy and the noise thingy are in the same box.

    What are you vacating when you go on a vacation? - Idunno. Vacations cost too much.

    That was fun! Big Grin



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    Posts: 9477 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
    Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie
    Picture of Balzé Halzé
    posted Hide Post
    quote:
    Originally posted by az4783054:

    4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U?

    Shouldn't it be called double V?



    Quick side note, in French, "W" is actually called double V.


    ~Alan

    Acta Non Verba
    NRA Life Member (Patron)
    God, Family, Guns, Country

    Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan

     
    Posts: 31139 | Location: Elv. 7,000 feet, Utah | Registered: October 29, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
    Lost
    Picture of kkina
    posted Hide Post
    quote:
    If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

    Nooooo, the theory of evolution says that both humans and modern monkeys evolved from a common monkey-like ancestor.

    C'mon people, we've been over this afore. Big Grin



    ACCU-STRUT FOR MINI-14
    "First, Eyes."
     
    Posts: 17137 | Location: SF Bay Area | Registered: December 11, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
    Freethinker
    Picture of sigfreund
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    quote:
    Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:
    Quick side note, in French, "W" is actually called double V.


    My immediate thought.

    quote:
    Ever wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN? - Depends on who dies.


    “Why do we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Because we’re not the one involved.”
    — Mark Twain




    6.4/93.6
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    “We are Americans …. Together we have resisted the trap of appeasement, cynicism, and isolation that gives temptation to tyrants.”
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    Posts: 47861 | Location: 10,150 Feet Above Sea Level in Colorado | Registered: April 04, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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    When I fly, I don't want to get on the plane, I want to get in the plane.
     
    Posts: 238 | Registered: March 11, 2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
    Muzzle flash
    aficionado
    Picture of flashguy
    posted Hide Post
    quote:
    Originally posted by NavyAgShooter:
    When I fly, I don't want to get on the plane, I want to get in the plane.
    Well, the first planes were open frames, so maybe the terminology dates from back then.

    flashguy




    Texan by choice, not accident of birth
     
    Posts: 27911 | Location: Dallas, TX | Registered: May 08, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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    Why do they call it a "Martini" when you only want one.

    Shouldn't you ask for a "Martinus".


    *********
    "Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them".
     
    Posts: 8228 | Location: Arizona | Registered: August 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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    You use vodka instead of gin, and it's a kangaroo?



    We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." ~ Benjamin Franklin.

    "If anyone in this country doesn't minimise their tax, they want their head read, because as a government, you are not spending it that well, that we should be donating extra...:
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    Posts: 1886 | Location: Altona Beach | Registered: February 20, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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    Hawaii has interstate highways.



    We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." ~ Benjamin Franklin.

    "If anyone in this country doesn't minimise their tax, they want their head read, because as a government, you are not spending it that well, that we should be donating extra...:
    Kerry Packer

    SIGForum: the island of reality in an ocean of diarrhoea.
     
    Posts: 1886 | Location: Altona Beach | Registered: February 20, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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