Dear Friends - while we have been away in Oregon, the 90+ y/o mother of our next-door neighbours passed away. She was much-loved in the community and by us, who had known her for almost fifteen years.

Trouble is, we are not only not Mormons, but not even Christian [I'm Jewish] and have really no good handle on how LDS treat death. Is is a tragedy, or something they eagerly looked forward to after a long and fruitful life? This will necessarily colour how we eventually face our NDN, of whom we are very fond.

Your advise in this matter, knowing that many of your here are members of the LDS church, will help us make a meaningful attempt at showing our respect for this lovely lady.

TIA

tac

I have a few family members in the LDS Church with my mother being a former member. Heres a good link to some insight into Mormon funeral practices-

https://www.funeralwise.com/customs/mormon/

If you will not be attending the funeral it would be appropriate to send flowers with a sympathy card, but nothing with a crucifix or mention of heaven per say (explained in article). Also a gift of food in the form of a home made dish was always received with gratitude. The meal served during the reception is known as the "mercy meal" which is provided by family or guests, kind of like a pot luck.

Tac, I can't give you the exact response you're looking for, but I can give you my perspective. Having been a member of conservative Church of Christ, I think you will find your Later Day Saintswill look at it somewhere in the middle and shaded toward joy. While everyone will likely see this death as a sad event, they will also be bolstered by the life and example of this woman. It will be viewed as a time of rememberance of her and a time to resolve to soldier on as memebers of their faith. Having said that, there is, of course, the individuals who make up the family to account for. Assuming what I would think is the norm, the above would hold true even if there are members of the family that are more toward the tragic end of the scale. Hope that helps some. Sorry for their and your loss.

Think of death as the completion of a probation stage of existence. The deceased is with loved ones in a state of peace. Those left behind miss her but know where she is and that they will be reunited one day. Sad for now, happy ever after.

I can say that every funeral I attended I was sad for those left behind and not at all for the deceased given what I believe to be the continuity of existence. To a great degree this understanding has helped me cope with seemingly unjust death. When my paternal grandfather died I was relieved for him since he suffered from Parkinson's terribly. When my paternal grandmother died the next year I was relieved for her since she was rejoining the love of her life in their prime. I cried at the funerals because of my aunts' grief.

As a mormon, we believe that this life is but a tiny fraction of our existence. We believe we were created as spirit children of Heavenly Father, and lived with him in a pre-earth life. We also believe we were given the opportunity to come to earth to receive a body, and to be tested, to see if we would choose good or bad. We believe that when we die, our spirit continues to live, and during the resurrection, our spirit and body will be reunited, and we will become immortal beings.

So, while death is a sad and often tragic event, it is tempered by our knowledge that this life is just a moment of our total existence, and we will see our loved ones again.

Your thoughts and well wishes, either in person or with a card are sufficient. And any mention of heaven is perfectly appropriate.

I can't answer your questions, but I can say you have a lot of class.

Tac- I am a Mormon, although the only Indian Mormon that people seem to have seen. 4X5 and Darthfuster have abely explained how Mormons view the process of death. Whatever you choose to do, to your neighbor is likely to be appreciated by them. If, along with a card you included a big plate of home-baked cookies, it would be appreciated as a wonderful gesture on your part.

I'm a 19th century type Jack Mormon, sort of.

I suggest contacting her ward's Bishop. See what he says about an appropriate means of rememberance.

Something respectful will be appreciated. We don't belive that life ends at death as we believe in the Resurrection. Because we also believe in eternal families and marriage death, especially for an older person, is also a joyful reunion with a spouse, parents, etc. These concepts make funerals typically less difficult for LDS members.

quote:

Originally posted by Sig2340:
I suggest contacting her ward's Bishop. See what he says about an appropriate means of rememberance.

If you want to find the contact information for her ward's Bishop, you can input the residential address into the meetinghouse locator:

https://www.lds.org/maps/meetinghouses/

Once you do that, select the link for the Residential ward for this location

That should have the Bishop's name and phone number.

Typically the Relief Society (woman's service organization) will coordinate bringing food and other things to the family. If the Bishop recommends you call the Relief Society President, she should also have a good idea of what the family needs.

Whatever you do, I am certain it will be well done and gratefully appreciated.

As a police officer I have been investigating deaths in the heavily LDS community in the SLC area. I have never noticed a difference in the LDS faith or any other christian group. They appreciate kind words, positive thoughts and nice gestures.

If you chose to attend her service and get the opportunity to visit her relatives after the ceremony there is one thing you must do...try the funeral potatoes! Yum!

You will hear about life before birth, life after death, and eternal family. If she was a faithful, temple going Mormon, she will be dressed in temple clothing. If you go to the graveside services, there will be a dedication of the ground (basically a prayer).

Other than those few minor details, you will find a LDS funeral very similar to most Christian services.

Thank you all for your input, gratefully received.

We have done as you advise with a card and messages of love, even though mrs tac will be attending the funeration after all as we have now returned for our month in Oregon. Moira had long expressed her wishes to be re-united with her beloved husband of almost sixty years, and died at home surrounded by her huge family.

Bless all here.

tac

quote:

Originally posted by tacfoley:
Thank you all for your input, gratefully received.

We have done as you advise with a card and messages of love, even though mrs tac will be attending the funeration after all as we have now returned for our month in Oregon. Moira had long expressed her wishes to be re-united with her beloved husband of almost sixty years, and died at home surrounded by her huge family.

Bless all here.

tac

tac
I knew whatever you did would be perfect It's just how you are.
I'm sorry about your friend.

Thanks, Guys. You're the Best.

tac

quote:

Originally posted by tacfoley:
Thanks, Guys. You're the Best.

tac

I feel confident in saying many of us think the same of you.

I lived in Utah for 5 years but know very little about their religion ( I don't really care).

I do know that if you treat these folks respectfully , they are very understanding about any ignorance you may have about their religion.

I found them to be gentle , patient folks. Would move back there if I could. mike

I am not a Mormon, but I live in Utah and know lots of Mormons.
They consider themselves Christians, and for all practical purposes you can assume the react to everything just like other Christians.

Just like other Christians, there is a spectrum of grief and reaction to death.

There are some doctrine differences, but it is pretty much the same as all Christians from a practical viewpoint. They just seem more "well organized" than most.