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Townhall.com logo MARCH 12, 2017
A Day Without Idiots

Derek Hunter
3/12/2017 12:01:00 AM - Derek Hunter

Democrats are taking to the streets…in waves. First it was women (the day after the inauguration), then it was immigrants (conflating legal and illegal aliens in the hope of making people think they are one in the same), then it was women again (because, presumably, someone ordered too many crocheted vagina hats the first time around and needed to unload them). Which group will be next? Allow me to offer some help.

Should they go back to immigrants? No, no one cared last time. They can’t repeat women after having just done women. Besides, like with immigrants, no one outside of newsrooms gave a damn or really noticed.

How about LGBTQ? “ A Day Without A Gay”? It does have a certain ring to it. But again, the problem is who is going to notice? Americans don’t run around spotting gay people and attempting to “otherize” them, as leftists like to say. And the crocheted design, not to mention the sales or the cost of extra yarn, might leave something to be desired.

There is, however, one group of people the political left has a stranglehold on which is large enough to be noticed by all, though perhaps not missed, if they were to “strike” for one day: idiots.

Might I suggest the next “A Day Without” protest be “A Day Without Idiots.”

Newsrooms would be empty. People would notice the normally vacant head of hair reading the nightly news being replaced by an empty chair…eventually…probably.

There certainly would be fewer interpretive dances at city council meetings.

Government agencies would undoubtedly be forced to close if idiots took the day off. But if the “strike” was successful, and all idiot-Americans refused to participate in any activities that day, the absence of government employees would go unnoticed by most since their customers would be out as well.

No TV or movie production would take place that day; Hollywood would be as empty as the space between the ears this year’s award winners. Concerts would be cancelled, Broadway a ghost town.

Hell, New York would be empty; California would collectively go to the beach.

Left lanes on freeways would only be filled by people going fast, blindly j-walking in the middle of a block across a one-way street while texting and looing the wrong way would not happen. Fast-food drive-thrus would move efficiently with the “anchors” on the crew playing X-Box at home.

See, it’s not all bad.

Marginally talented comedians wouldn’t accuse anyone with brain cancer of having “Nazi hair” simply because they don’t agree with them politically. It would also spare the country non-apology apologies for a day. No one would have to issue a “We deeply apologize for offending” tweets to said cancer patients for having “Nazi hair” while remaining silent on all the other people they accused of the same.

Who would have thought we’d come to a point in human history where accusing random strangers of being a Nazi based on having a hairstyle Brad Pitt recently sported because they committed the perceived sin of not agreeing with the accuser politically would only elicit an apology when the recipient is discovered to have a horrible disease but not a blanket apology for making the accusation against 3 other people? Wouldn’t you like a day without more of that?

Wouldn’t you like a day without any of this? Just one day?

A Day Without Idiots would empty college campuses , as students, professors, and administrators all marched in solidarity against the injustice of not being able to afford what you want to do for spring break or the horrors of white women wearing hoop earrings.

Since we’ll all be supporting these gender and ethnic justice studies participation ribbon recipients once they graduate now that burger-flipping machines are taking over the jobs for which they are most qualified, a day without them would serve as a nice thank you in advance.

Sure, the best vegan restaurants might be forced to close that day for lack of staff, but since there is no such thing as a good vegan restaurant, we, like “The Dude” in The Big Lebowski, will abide.

Best of all, Congress would be out of session for another day this year. And any day Congress is out of session is a good day for America. One day without politicans swearing to you the GOP Obamacare repeal plan is greatest bill ever or another one swearing it will lead to the end of the Republic or people dropping dead in the streets. Wouldn’t a day off from that be nice?

Liberals are fast running out of a “victim” groups to grant martyr status to, it’s time they got creative. And it’d be nice if they were generous with something besides other people’s money, for once. They should give the country a day off from them. While “A Day Without Idiots” might not be to their liking, as long as the concept remains, they can call it whatever they want. Maybe they can even find a way to sell more of those stupid hats. Anything, as long as they leave us the hell alone, for even one day.

A Day Without Idiots...it fairly boggles the mind.

Washington would be a desert. Traffic on the interstates would be a trickle. Campuses (Campii?) would be a wasteland. Schools of every ilk would go unstaffed. TV would show a test pattern all day. Talk Radio would be dead air. Newspapers would go unpublished (please think of the trees!). Supermarket magazine racks would be bare. WalMart would be a graveyard.

The only active site on the entire internet would be SIGforum...

Are we still able to call them idiots? I thought they were referred to as intellectually challenged now?

LOL, never gonna work! Too many of 'em self-identify as enlightened. May I suggest instead a day without the 'offended'. This should cover all the idiot categories and draw them like flies to demonstrate their superior grasp of all things social and political.

quote:

Originally posted by TRshootem:
LOL, never gonna work! Too many of 'em self-identify as enlightened. May I suggest instead a day without the 'offended'. This should cover all the idiot categories and draw them like flies to demonstrate their superior grasp of all things social and political.

Excellent point! Same group, same over-all effect, increased participation.

"A Day Without the Offended"

It sounds very elegant. It shall be written in calligraphy, with scroll work around the border. It shall be on an 8 1/2 by 11 heavy bonded paper with an official golden seal of some kind. It shall be suitable for framing, and displayed for everyone to gaze upon, It shall be placed directly above the participation trophy.

quote:

Originally posted by Muddflap:
"A Day Without the Offended"

It sounds very elegant. It shall be written in calligraphy, with scroll work around the border. It shall be on an 8 1/2 by 11 heavy bonded paper with an official golden seal of some kind. It shall be suitable for framing, and displayed for everyone to gaze upon, It shall be placed directly above the participation trophy.

Do we all get one?

The main reason that this will never work is that most of the idiots simply don't realize that they are idiots.

everyone is offended by some thing at some time

but an idiot is always an idiot, and it does have a nice ring to it