The thread about the young girl in St. Louis that was so badly injured by another person has me wondering what parents on this forum have done to prepare their daughters for surviving these types of possible situations. Sure, avoiding being in such a predicament is best but that isn't always possible. It's safer to assume that at some point everyone will have to deal with evil in a physical form, especially with the cultural decline we're currently experiencing.

My thinking is that every daughter ought to receive training in self-defense but what kind? For how long? What if such training interferes with a sport, club, etc.? What takes priority for the parents?

Because so many of us here are advocates of self-protection and self-reliance, I'm interested to hear what SIGforum parents have done for their daughters in this regard, and what they plan to do until their girls leave home.

*Note: I am not married and do not have any children - and am too old to be going down that road - but I'm hoping that this thread will bring some viable options to light that might help those that have the incredible responsibility of raising children.

My daughters are both now 40-ish, but my granddaughter is 14 and petite.
She started karate at 8 or 9 and just earned her junior black belt.
My son-in-law says she could hurt him with a full power punch or kick.
That gives me some comfort about her safety, but you can still get sucker punched or attacked by multiple assailants.

My daughter is currently a young adult (22) and finishing up her masters degree. Getting her serious about self defense was an uphill battle I couldn’t win. She rolls her eyes about having pepper spray but at least she has been vigilant about not putting herself in questionable situations. She gave up drinking about 3 years ago, and will only occasionally have a drink in social situations and even that is a rarity. My wife and my daughter live in their protective little bubble of safety which annoys me a bit. They finally stopped hitting the gas station late at night and now jokingly will say, “I got gas on my way home b/c we’re not allowed to do it late at night”, so at least that is a start. I truly believe we will start to see a level of violence that is going to shock both of them. Between the amount of criminals and possible terrorists we let across our border and the racial animosity being cultivated, our country is turning into a massive shit show. I wish I had a better answer for you, but for now the only thing I can do is try my best to instill habits that mitigate their personal risk and hope neither become a statistic. They know how alarmed I am at the moment and might possibly be taking me more seriously. I haven’t watched the St Louis video yet, but I already have an idea of what it contains. It’s going to piss me off when I get around to it.

My daughter is almost 6 and tiny for her age. I am very lucky that I have had a lifetime filled with martial arts. We started around 3/4 with some VERY basic BJJ stuff at home. Last year we started outside instruction kiddie Krav Maga classes and she seems to be taking to it well. I can only hope she will continue to enjoy it. The KM classes are pretty cool as a parent can choose to attend with thier kid. I consider it bonding time as well as learning a skill set that could someday save her life.

I get your point and think some self-defense training would be ideal.

But from a real world perspective, pick the low hanging fruit for the best return on effort.

That means awareness and avoidance are by far the best return on investment.
First is the who you chose to associate with and where you hang out is at least 80% of being relatively safe.
Somebody who doesn't do drugs/illegal things when I'm around them isn't the same as somebody who doesn't do those thing at all.

Next are simple things a youngster might not think about like being observant while pumping gas or inside a convenience store (not totally engaged with your electronic device) and where you sit in public places like restaurants or other gatherings.

quote:

Originally posted by 220-9er:
I get your point and think some self-defense training would be ideal.

But from a real world perspective, pick the low hanging fruit for the best return on effort.

That means awareness and avoidance are by far the best return on investment.

^^^^ THIS

Not that some physical training can't help but there is only so much a small, weak female can accomplish.
Awareness along with some firearm training can go a long way.
Especially, situational awareness.

Teach them that being a statistics enthusiast isn't racist.
The 13 vs 50 rule specifically.
Staying in places where there is a known cultural norm and anything outside of that will not be tolerated is a good start. Having access to pepper spray or a small taser (yes, mine had them with them in school and were taught to keep them hidden unless they were in danger). Krav Maga was taught locally so I enrolled them there to learn how to fight with purpose as well.

I'll be honest here and say my daughter is not prepared for any sort of physical altercation. I have tried with no success to get her involved in self defense training but she refuses and my wife sides with her.
I have made it clear that if she is involved in a physical altercation that she will be a victim. She sees fights every day at her high school. It still does not register with her. The topic has been left at: "If you want to learn self defense, I will help you get training."
It worries me to no end that she will be living on her own in the America of today.

Private school. Plus how to avoid confrontation. Using your brain to avoid fights. Most confrontations are avoidable. Of course if you are jumped learn how to cover up.

quote:

The thread about the young girl in St. Louis that was so badly injured by another person has me wondering what parents on this forum have done to prepare their daughters for surviving these types of possible situations. Sure, avoiding being in such a predicament is best but that isn't always possible. It's safer to assume that at some point everyone will have to deal with evil in a physical form, especially with the cultural decline we're currently experiencing.

Yes, it's true...
I agree with ZSMICHAEL:

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
Private school. Plus how to avoid confrontation. Using your brain to avoid fights. Most confrontations are avoidable. Of course if you are jumped learn how to cover up.

My daughters both went to Cor Jesu Academy. It's a private, religious school for girls.
They were largely sheltered from this sort of thing.

Since then, they have learned how to take care of themselves. My oldest started boxing at USNA and now she's quite the kick-boxer. My youngest learns from her.

I've taught both of them the use of firearms but neither of them carry regularly. They do have firearms for home defense.

U.S. Army Military Police training worked out okay I hope.

quote:

Originally posted by smschulz:

quote:

Originally posted by 220-9er:
I get your point and think some self-defense training would be ideal.
But from a real world perspective, pick the low hanging fruit for the best return on effort.
That means awareness and avoidance are by far the best return on investment.

^^^^ THIS

Not that some physical training can't help but there is only so much a small, weak female can accomplish.
Awareness along with some firearm training can go a long way.
Especially, situational awareness.

As I think back on my youth (as a young female), I think these were the things my Mother instilled in me; don't put yourself in a vulnerable position; avoid certain places/situations and be aware. It irked me a bit that my brother could go and do things I was told I should not, due to safety concerns, but even then I realized Mom was right; the world is much more dangerous for young females. Even a few episodes of "Forensic Files" will confirm that. I wasn't interested in self defense classes, but I did develop an interest in firearms training as a true equalizer (or even better) in a world, where my build and gender made me more likely to be a victim, and my Mom fully supported me, even going to the range with me.

I notice a lot of the above comments are from men who state the mother is also in a form of denial. Maybe that is the person they need to convince first, and then both parents, especially the mother, can try to instill some good sense (and perhaps a bit of fear) into the daughter for her safety's sake.

It's easy

Don't let your kids within 5 friggen' miles of ANY public school.

My kids are homeschooled and will never get their brains beat in or shot by some nutjob tranny because they aren't there.

With my daughter I made sure she understood that:

1 on 1, the other party must instigate the fight, but once they did, there were to be literally no holds barred. Biting, bursting eardrums, kicking, poking eyes, and more were fine with me.

More than one attacker, she can start the fight, and it better be no holds barred from the start, and if she injured someone, I’d deal with the legal consequences.

The only thing that would anger me is if she didn’t defend herself like the third monkey in line fighting for a spot on the Ark.

My Daughter is 33. I cant remember how many pepper spray devices I have bought for Her, Knives I have bought, hand guns I have bought, and advice I have given all to no avail. Her years of living in Napa and LA have moved Her into the LIB category.
She is relocating back to Chicago this week.
I will begin my protection preaching again when she gets here, maybe this time I can get someplace with training.

I have noticed an important problem that I see with my Wife and other females. She got Her CCW permit years ago but let it expire.I have not bugged Her about a renewal.
I constantly was on Her about leaving Her gun in Her purse and not carrying the gun in a easier to access holster, having the gun on her not around her was a lesson that never was learned, but ignored because it was not comfortable.
I also saw that She and other females I have taught would be VERY slow to actually use the gun and in the real world would probably end up giving the gun up in any sort of assault on them. This always bothered me and made me wonder if they would be better off with out the gun that would most likely get taken by a criminal.

My Daughter in law is another problem, She seems over ready to pull a gun and shoot somebody. My Son has many times asked me to remind Her that she can't shoot somebody for insulting her. She believes that because She is a female the States Attorney won't charge Her. Her CCW permit also expired, I don't bug Her about a renewal either.

Every year my Wife and I "baby sit" a couples Airedale terrier for 4 months when they go to Florida for the Winter. The husband is a very prominent divorce lawyer in Chicago and the Wife is a retired Social worker.They both are now in there 80's.I never talk politics with them. They are both Jewish and live in the ultra Lib area of Chicago called Lincoln Park in a 1.5 million dollar home.I was shocked last year when the Wife asked me to help Her get a CCW permit.She spoke of shooting anybody that would attempt to steal or harm Her beloved Dog. I was shocked that Her Husband just sat there and did not point out to her that She can't do that. He also surprised me when he told me he had many firearms because over the years clients in Divorce cases wanted to get rid of firearms or there spouses firearms after a divorce.The clients would give him there guns to get rid of them.

Just having a firearm does somebody no good if they can't bring themselves to use it and learn how to use it, and most important study and learn WHEN they can use it.

I have two daughters 15 and 5. They both have ballistic panels in their backpacks at school and know to use cover and keep their backpack between a school shooter and them. Front or back depending on the circumstance. The youngest may begin taikwondo this summer. I teach them both to shoot and have taught the oldest a whole lot of dirty tricks to use when her life is in danger and the gravity of using them. Far more effective than a martial arts class in reality but a martial arts class does give confidence that is invaluable as well as building strength and character. The oldest is already equipped with pepper spray, pocket knife and a dual purpose pen made for such occasions and places the other items are not allowed. Next I’ll be teaching her how to use about anything as a weapon. One day, when my five year old is old enough to use good judgement, she too will learn the dirty tricks. You’d be surprised how many things can be done to avoid rape including urinating or crapping yourself. We prefer the dirty trick bag though.

Both of my daughters participated in IDPA as teens. They also learned to shoot rifle and shotgun.

I took the eldest to FrontSight for their handgun course when she was 16. She tutored her younger sister when we got home.

(The eldest is now married to a lefty who won't have guns in the house. They have 4 daughters and a son, so I guess I somehow failed with her.)

The younger one enjoys all forms of shooting sports, and is now married to a sandbox combat veteran who has them well prepared.

With that background, I think the most valuable training was the mental stuff. At FrontSight they had lectures every day, which really had an impact on both of my daughters. The younger one had to put it to use one day at age 15 when she confronted two homeless men following her and friend downtown.

The gist of the training was to trust your gut instincts, and it is ok to take preemptive actions as a situation develops. We teach our kids to be polite to strangers, be respectful to others, don't embarrass others, and don't make public spectacles of yourself. All great stuff up until an aggressor appears.

It teaches that, yes there are malevolent people out there, yes it is good to protect yourself, yes it is ok to embarrass an innocent person by mistake rather than become victimized, and there are very many people who support you (contrary to mass media that pushes passivity).

The Color Code of Mental Awareness is a fantastic tool to teach not only awareness but the concept that it is good to do what you need to do to protect yourself. It provides a procedure, a list, to follow. Instead of being frozen by uncertainty what to do, it provides pre-planned actions.

White - Unaware. Perfectly ok watching tv at home with the doors locked. You don't notice cars driving by or the dog barking down the street.

Green - "Defensive Driver" is what I call it. You're aware but not scared or paranoid. You are watching what is going on.

Yellow - Alert to an identified potential oddity. As a driver you see the young child and dog running in a yard, and pay extra attention in case they run into the street. The driver may slow down or change lanes to reduce the threat. In terms of self defense, you notice the person who may be following you around the store. You might walk towards other shoppers so as not to be isolated. You might verbally confront the person: "ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? LEAVE ME ALONE!". You can cross the street, go into a busy store, intentionally set off your car alarm, etc.

Red - Preparing for a fight. This is where you determine your line in the sand. You have verified this is a real threat, and your earlier actions did not resolve it. Now, if the threat does something (gets too close, verbalizes a threat, multiple people try to surround you, shows a weapon, etc) you will respond. Your response probably will be violent. You put your hand on your still hidden weapon, drop packages you might be carrying, etc.

Black - Fighting. Whatever you need to do.

For my teens this was powerful stuff.

My kids school had a zero tolerance policy, too. I told the kid that school policy was BS and ignore it. Dont instigate or provoke and if attacked, fight back to win decidedly and I would stand behind him and take any legal action needed with the school board to fight a zero tolerance action. I then issued him a Kubaton and trained him in its use.

Short of being an actually good fighter, that little girl in the video had a near zero chance of winning that fight. Her chance was to run. Her aggressor went hyper aggressive and fought like she was fighting to board the Ark. That would be a tough fight for anyone.

I agree with the above guys who put a premium on paying attention to your surroundings, leaving, running, don't get outnumbered, etc.

Yet the best advice is don't enroll your kid in that high school because that is a thug factory not a school.

Apparently, according to my 16yo daughter, it only takes 7lbs of force to rip someone’s ear off.

After reading this thread and the other one, I decided to talk to her because I was a little worried. After talking to her and learning various facts like the one above, I’m now really worried.