Won’t go into much detail and sorry for the typos I’m on mobile. Long story short my fiancé had a breakdown and accused me of saying I was going to kill her and myself. None of it true but either way I got arrested, lost my carry permit and am facing menacing misdemeanor charges which fits into domestic violence and complete loss of firearms. Since it was a supposed threat there is no physical evidence so her word against mine. I’m freaking out and could use some help finding a good attorney. I don’t think I even have a speeding ticket on my record so they let me out of jail after a day. I’ll fill you in on that experience sometime.
Thanks

If you have family or trusting friends nearby I’d consider offloading a few firearms if this goes forward.

At least you have fewer entanglements than if married. I would go through every facet of your shared lives & make sure ties are cut.

If you do have to have any interaction with her, have a small Sony voice recorder going.

It’s part of the distressed female playbook to gin up assault charges & threats. One needs to stay ahead of the games.

No help on the attorney side of things.

But it really pisses me off, to hear you stayed a night in jail over a false alligation with no facts to back up her story!
And now having to fight to get everything cleared and back that you lost.

Innocent until proven guilty.... right out the window.

I'm in Colo. and have heard good things about this attorney:

Jeremy Loew

Good luck!

Good luck.

Watch out for the possibility of a restraining order. I had a friend go through all this. The DV charge is bad, but can be dealt with (reduced, dismissed, etc.) and then the record potentially expunged.

His ex also took out a restraining order, and those are damn near freakin' impossible to get lifted. It has also prevented him from owning any guns.

quote:

Originally posted by sourdough44:
If you have family or trusting friends nearby I’d consider offloading a few firearms if this goes forward.

At least you have fewer entanglements than if married. I would go through every facet of your shared lives & make sure ties are cut.

If you do have to have any interaction with her, have a small Sony voice recorder going.

It’s part of the distressed female playbook to gin up assault charges & threats. One needs to stay ahead of the games.

I can't help with an attorney recommendation but sourdough44's advice bears repeating. If she has done it once, even if you are completely exonerated this time, she will likely see it as a wild card in her pocket to use again if things aren't going her way. Speaking from experience, eject now.

Do check on the legality of recording your conversations though.

quote:

Originally posted by Dan the man:

Do check on the legality of recording your conversations though.

Colorado is one party consent. CRS 18-9-304

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

my attorney just kept putting the court date off figuring the bi#%~ would lose interest and not show, it worked. Case dropped. I did go to anger management to appease judge.
My attorney was a regular attorney that did court cases, not a record file'er.
Cost 1k back 10yrs ago.
Have a officer accompany you to house to get your stuff. Never be alone with her she'll get you and the second time will prove her case.

After it is resolved, run FAR FAR AWAY from the CRAZY @#$%^.

Seriously.

Good luck and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this.

Just like many of the Law Enforcement officers on this board, I have responded/investigated way too many calls such as this.

As many of the members have stated:

1) Never be alone with her
2) If possible record all calls, and keep all text messages
3) Try to limit any and all contact
4) Have an Officer(s) escort you to the house to obtain any and all possessions.
5) Do not fall for the meet me somewhere to talk ploy. I have seen many men get caught up in this and the meet goes sour.
6) Never violate the terms of the restraining order. Even if she initiates the meet. Again I have seen many men get taken to jail over this. Usually it is a set up.
7) Once you find a lawyer have every interaction go through him or her.

Good Luck.

Can't help you with a lawyer or legal advice but I offer you this...

benny6's survival guide for men dealing with psycho soon-to-be ex-wives, ex-fiancé's etc...

-Whatever feelings you had for her, kill them now.

-This is war and your life and well-being is under attack

-As someone stated earlier, remove all firearms from your residence, and leave them with a trusted friend or family member. If the state has universal background checks, have them all legally transferred.

-Under no circumstances are you to answer any phone calls from this woman. Let her leave a voice mail or text message. Voice mails and text messages are consent to be used under court of law. Emotional, psycho women may leave vindicating statements like "I'm sorry for what I said about you", or "I'm sorry for lying about you to the police" etc...

-Under no circumstances are you to answer phone calls from friends or mutual friends of hers that she may use to manipulate you.

-Do not answer calls from unknown numbers. She may get a burner phone to get you to pick up a call.

-Under no circumstances are you to call her and apologize for anything or leave a message apologizing for anything at all

-Further communications should be made via e-mail or through attorney. E-mails should be void of emotion and include only basic facts (I need to collect this at this time, please be out of the house from this time to this time, etc...). Keep e-mails calm and courteous. This only applies if there is no restraining order. If there is a restraining order, all communications should be between attorneys.

-Quit drinking now. Celebrate after it's over. You need your wits clear and concise.

-Under no circumstances are you to allow yourself to be caught alone with this woman ever again. If for some reason you need to enter a shared dwelling to collect your belongings, do so with one or two trusted friends and have the event video recorded. If there is a restraining order, coordinate the event and the formalities with your attorney.

-You were in jail overnight which is enough time for a hidden camera to have been placed in a house. Assume you're being recorded.

-Expect a restraining order to be delivered to your place of business for maximum humiliation. Prepare yourself mentally for it but keep calm. Women use this tactic to humiliate men in the workplace and gain the advantage.

-Keep and print all phone records from your phone bill from now until you are free of this woman. Log any date, time and note of any phone call or message from her. If she has access to the phone bill, print the current one, cancel it and change carriers. If she ever accuses you of calling her and harassing her or threatening her, have your attorney ask what date and time the call was and what was the duration. You'll have the phone records to debunk any accusations.

-Apple ID and e-mail accounts. If she knows your AppleID and password, she can track you with "find my iPhone". Change your Apple ID. Change all your passwords. She had access to all your electronic devices while you were in jail. Assume she read all your e-mails.

-Mobile Devices: If you have an iPad or a MacBook that is tied to iMessage, be careful what you text if she can see it. Changing your Apple ID should stop any text messages from showing up on any device that hasn't been updated with the correct password. If you can, delete any iMessage or e-mail accounts from any mobile devices left behind. If you can't get access to these devices, use find my iPhone and connect to them remotely and erase them as if they were stolen.

-Bank accounts. If she has access to your bank accounts or online accounts, get her off them unless you have shared accounts. If you have shared accounts, consult your attorney about getting those separated. There are laws about shared accounts.

-The best revenge is a happy life. Crazy women want to share their insanity with others. If they can't be happy, they don't want others to be happy. The biggest insult and revenge you can give her is that she doesn't matter to you. She wants a fight and drama in her life. It's what they need to feel alive. If you don't argue with them (engage in a phone call), that tells them they are insignificant and it's the biggest slap in the face you can give them. End this relationship and move on.

Erase her from your life as if she never existed. You don't need a grand F-YOU statement. Simply disappear as fast as you can and it will cut her deeper than any harsh word you can possibly say back to her. They live for the fight and if there is no fight, they feel unimportant and irrelevant. Make her feel just that.


I'll update my list if I think of anything else. This list has helped a couple of men stay out of jail and maybe even helped them gain more time with their kids. The kids part doesn't apply to you, but these are helpful tips for any other man who reads them. I made this list on my own based on my own experiences.

ETA from page 2...
Another thing to be aware of is taunting. She may taunt you or use others to taunt you into being aggressive or violent.

They want to divert people's attention away from their own craziness by making you crazy and making you lose control. As soon as you lose control, she will shift the focus on you and she can say "See! He's a violent, out of control man! Someone save me from this lunatic!" All the while, diverting people away from their own personal mental illness and delusion.

No matter what, do not lose control. As soon as you lose control or show any emotion or anger, she has you right where she wants you. She will have provoked a response. She will have proved to herself that she is still relevant in your life and that she has the power to make you happy or sad. She may not be able to control herself, but maybe she can have some control over you. You must deny her this in spades.

Never let this woman see any emotion on your face. Never let her see you sad or broken, even if that's how you feel. Mentally prepare yourself that if she says the most offensive thing that a human could possibly say that deserves punishment of death, you will not have any reaction to it. The words are coming from a deranged sick person and you must not fall for the trap.

The more you remain silent and unresponsive to her taunts, the angrier she will get. You will be winning.

Tony.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: benny6,

I met Anthony Fabian, P.C. a few years ago at a Republican event. He was one of the attorneys involved in suing the state about the gun control measures they passed a few years ago. Other than knowing he is a anti-gun control advocate, I don't have any other experience with him. He's in Castle Rock.

http://www.ajfabianlaw.com/

Looking over his website, he's involved with “Affiliated Attorney, Armed Citizens’ Legal Defense Network, LLC”

https://www.armedcitizensnetwork.org/

quote:

Crazy women want to share their insanity with others. If they can't be happy, they don't want others to be happy.

Ding.

I have been there brother! Benny6 and Mrap are wise men. Take no chances. Get good representation. She cant be trusted and even if crazy you cant help that. If she did it once she will do it again. Scan,select, DISCARD, MOVE ON!

Delete your social media. Now.

Don't discuss the particulars online.

One thing to keep in mind, there’re not married. It will be MUCH easier to untangle now than after any vows.

Start yesterday cutting all ties.

I don't know any of those sorts, sorry.

However, I have one CO friend who experienced something similar. I'll ask them.

After this is over, consult and live by the chart.

In a recent posting, we discussed MGTOW. This is a good example of what is powering MGTOW.