I have a friend who is 60, who had a stroke- paralysis on one side, and he's lost most of his ability to speak. He can write, though, and read.

He's going to go through extensive rehab of course, but what can I do to help him? It occurred to me that it might be beneficial to read to him- a good novel, perhaps. I know nothing about this type of thing, but it does seem to me that listening to a book being read and following the story mentally might be beneficial.

There's no need for condolences. Everyone here is decent, so, I know you take this stuff seriously. I'm just looking for guidance.

I’d just ask him if he’d like that. If so, see if it helps.

He will gradually improve over the course of a year. Do not correct him unless absolutely needed. Some memory problems are to be expected. Reading sounds fine to me.

How recent was the stroke?
Both of my parents had them so we had a bit of experience.
From what I remember, there can be significant recovery in the first week or so and as time goes on the improvement seems to slow.
Maybe go with him to PT a time or two and see what they say there. You might have to have someone that has healthcare Power of Attorney for some but they should be able to give you some direction of what would be most helpful.

quote:

Originally posted by 220-9er:
How recent was the stroke?

Two and a half weeks and he's still in the hospital.

^^^^^^^^^^
That is a long hospital stay.

Based on my experiences with a multiple stroke victim, I would encourage him (to the degree it’s acceptable to him) to push himself to do the things that have been impaired and are difficult. That’s usually what rehab will focus on, but even extensive rehab won’t push him during all his waking hours. If the two of you are Scrabble players and he’s up to it, I believe it’s a helpful mental exercise and serves as a way for the two of you to interact while spending time together. Other games may of course be more suitable, but that’s the one I played.

Best to both of you.

Para,

Just being there will mean a lot to him also but you know this already.

When I was recovering from my CABG in ‘98 I still remember the support I got, more from friends than relatives.

Pretty much what Sigfreund said.

What did he like to do? Well, do that!
Talk to his Dr, Rehab specialist... Find out what they have to say first.

I would just hang out with him. The interaction between you should be a benefit.

I've spent considerable time in rehab and watched others who were also in rehab.

If the person in rehab wants to recover badly, they will. Unfortunately, most of them don't, they like the pity party, so don't let him go that way, stay on his back so he can recover.

quote:

Two and a half weeks and he's still in the hospital.

Yes, that's a long stay if he's stabilized enough for an in-patient rehab center. I guess not.
Does he have other conditions, cardiovascular, diabetes, kidney, high blood pressure that would have caused or complicated this condition?

If he can read and has use of one side, maybe an I-pad or tablet can be used for reading. He might also be able to type out what he can't say for some communication.
That was a frustrating part for us. The brain seemed to be able to comprehend but there was some missing link to the mouth to be able to express thoughts.

Does he have family there to help with the many other aspects and interpret to his healthcare workers/doctors?
Does he have the paperwork for healthcare POA, etc. so someone can deal with that aspect or even talk to the doctors and direct his care?
I was lucky in that area and it's still not easy if you've never been through it. You don't know what you don't know, the right questions to ask.
In any case, good that you are there to help in some way. But it can be very frustrating.

My next door neighbor had a stroke some years ago, and has made a good recovery. I hope your friend does, also.

I have done two things for/with my friend to help with his recovery, maybe one or both of these activities might help your friend as well.

1) He needed to work on reading (as well as speaking) and so he wanted me to set up his Kindle reading device (iPad, in his case) so that it would read the Kindle library. That gave him a way to go over familiar content (not so hard to read) and hear the sounds at the same time. He says it really helped. Audible alone wouldn't have had the writing highlit along with the sounds, so would have been both less effective and more expensive.

2) He couldn't/can't drive, so once a week I take him out to dinner and a guy-movie, just the two of us - we share costs but just getting him out of the house and engaging him in conversation also helped. If there's nothing appealing at the theater then I bring him to my place and stream a movie.

I think reading aloud is a great idea. If he is open to that, it would make you closer as friends. There was a period recently where I read aloud to Mrs DF. It was more informational content so we would stop occasionally and discuss. Our relationship became stronger as a by-product of the activity.

I've never had a physical episode that was even temporarily debilitating so I can only image what a day would be like while recovering. Boredom would set in fairly fast, I think. Constructive companionship would be so welcome.

You're a good man for thinking about his benefit beyond a visit or two for a few minutes.

After my late father had his stroke, he was left with aphasia and concurrent anomia, or speech difficulty. He knew the word he wanted but couldn't actually say it.

It was extremely frustrating because of the randomness of the words he had trouble with. It improved over time and with therapy but was extremely frustrating for him at first.

The absolute worst thing to do was try to help him by guessing the word or phrase. Drove him nuts.

Patience was the key and giving him time to get there on his own.

Strangely, when he'd had a couple of beers(!) and he was relaxed, the problem was nearly non-existent, as if it was nervousness (like stuttering) that was causing the problem with his speech when he was thinking too hard about it.

Best wishes to your friend. As I said, patience is key along with gentle encouragement.

When I had mine, my comprehension was affected and I had a hard time understanding the spoken word. Reading was not nearly as bad. My brain doc recommended me watch movies with closed captions so that if I was having problems following I could read. It helped immensely.

The area of the brain damaged was above the left ear-they say this is the area for comprehension and some math.

I still don’t trust myself even with small calculations without a calculator.

Having patience is the best advise I can give you for your friend. Being there is huge. Four or five of my 125 fellow cops came by to see me. I figured out who was a true friend.

They never told me about the stroke affecting my emotions either. Huge emotion swings, crying at things that never bothered me before. It was embarrassing, but I figured it out that it’s a side effect. I also got super angry easily, that took several years to manage to control.

I also have aphasia. It was really hard during the first year…frustrating as people filled in the word. I was able to get them to stop and allow me to slowly find the right word on my own. I just held up a hand in a stop motion and they would all wait. Only after waving them on would they tell me the word. Or if I was pronouncing it correctly….my big kid took time to enunciate things wrongly to me for weeks…

Like pronouncing toast as toe-ast…you get the idea.

I’m willing to talk off line if you want to.

I would suggest talking to a therapist. Losing the ability to speak is quite common for stroke victims and something that can be re-aquired with therapy. To my simple mind it seems that speaking to him while reading the same book he is following might just speed up his recovery of the ability to speak. But I am not a therapist and have no real clue as to how to help someone who has had a stroke.

My father in law had a stroke when he was 83, he’s 86 now. Initially he had double vision very bad, and terrible headaches, and no balance. It was caused by plaque that broke loose when he had a stint implanted in his heart.
When he was stabilized and plans were made for rehab, his neurologist basically told him, “… you can go play with the rehab folks if you want to, but your vision will come back…”
The Doc was right, he did some vision exercises, wore prism glasses for a short time, but his vision came back. In fact he had his cornea’s shaved after he recovered and can basically see like a teenager now.
He is lucky to be here now though, the wife called me at work the night it happened. She got him to the ER quickly, and that is likely what saved him.

Tabitha said that reading and puzzles did her the most good.

Her stroke had her with a 10% chance of survival it was so bad.

She still has paralysis of the right side, her gait is off and she can only speak simple words.

Every stroke victim is different, but as others said someone just being there is important. My dad had his stoke in December 2015 and one whole side of his body was paralyzed and he died 6 months later. He was in nursing homes and they are shit holes. Just before he passed away he told me he was being abused and I was in the process of getting a hidden camera. I had to be there as much as I could to make sure things were done right because even when I was there, they were getting things wrong. They would mess up his medication or give him pure liquids when it was supposed to be thickened. I sure hope your friend recovers and at least enough to go home. I NEVER want to be in a nursing home.