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End of Life Decisions

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March 31, 2024, 02:23 PM
nhtagmember
End of Life Decisions
Was woken up by a very early morning phone call telling me that my dad had had a stroke. A day later he had a second more serious one so the only thing you can do is hop on a plane and fly home to help out family.

Of course we are now in the conversation mode of the end of life decisions, hospice versus bringing him home.

Not how I planned on spending the week. My mother is on a rollercoaster ride and is exhausted.

You just have to be there and hope you do the right things.
March 31, 2024, 02:26 PM
vthoky
Prayers up for you and your family, sir.




God bless America.
March 31, 2024, 02:28 PM
6guns
I’m sorry to hear that, Greg. Good thoughts and prayers for your family during this trying time.




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March 31, 2024, 02:31 PM
12131
Sorry to hear this. Regarding hospice, consider home hospice. Went through this scenario almost 6 years ago with my mom.


Q






March 31, 2024, 02:32 PM
Oz_Shadow
My sympathies to you.

Request a hospice consult. They can explain options and resources. It’s not just one specific thing.
March 31, 2024, 02:41 PM
BGULL
All our prayers for the Lord’s grace, mercy, and peace for you and your family.


Bill Gullette
March 31, 2024, 02:51 PM
ZSMICHAEL
quote:
Request a hospice consult. They can explain options and resources. It’s not just one specific thing.

Hospice deals with this all the time. It is a complicated field.
March 31, 2024, 03:05 PM
arfmel
My sympathy.

Hospice was a huge help when I was dealing with the last days of my bride’s lifetime. There are likely several hospice companies to choose from in your area. It might be worthwhile talking with local friends who have experience, to help you find a good one.
March 31, 2024, 03:14 PM
Sig2340
Where are you and if near DC, how can I help?





Nice is overrated

"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018
March 31, 2024, 03:20 PM
V-Tail
quote:
Originally posted by BGULL:

All our prayers for the Lord’s grace, mercy, and peace for you and your family.
Amen



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
March 31, 2024, 03:21 PM
vthoky
quote:
Originally posted by Sig2340:
how can I help?


Love this group!




God bless America.
March 31, 2024, 03:31 PM
drill sgt
Thoughts and prayers sent your way....... Consider the hospice route if a possibility..... .......... drill sgt.
March 31, 2024, 04:33 PM
bigpond73
Jeez Greg. I feel for you, knowing you just went through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Mike


You can run, but you cannot hide.

If you won't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.
March 31, 2024, 04:59 PM
Bytes
This is going to be difficult. I was lucky enough to be around for both of my parents passing. Neither passing was "peaceful". When you are past your grief you will be thankful for what you are about to go through. I give you my word on that nhtagmember. Sending good thoughts your way.
March 31, 2024, 05:08 PM
220-9er
My parents both died shortly after strokes, about two years apart.
Our mother was in hospice in the hospital, my dad died at home in hospice care after the first days in the hospital.
The home version was definitely best, for both us and him. He was able to communicate well enough to make that call himself and it was after the hospital version with my mother.
The hospital should be able to get you in contact and the people in the hospice will explain all aspects from my experience.
Making the basic arrangements with a funeral home or whatever you choose ahead of time will be helpful too.

Good wishes in a difficult part of your life, and to your family.

For the others reading this: please be sure to get the legal documentation you need, and your love ones could need for you, together and properly executed.
They may vary somewhat by location so no need to quote them here but spend the small amount to have a competent attorney do this for you.
This will save a lot of grief when needed.


___________________________
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March 31, 2024, 05:09 PM
konata88
Very sorry to hear this. Hope for strength and comfort for your mom and your family.




"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
"A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book
March 31, 2024, 05:22 PM
Ironmike57
I just went through this with my wife. Doc said she isn’t going to make it. My SIL and I decided on hospice. The most difficult thing I ever did was sign the DNR. Actually, I think picking up her ashes was worse.
March 31, 2024, 07:14 PM
irreverent
I’m so sorry to read this. It is an awful place to be, playing God, making decisions without truly knowing what the individual might want. Home hospice has been something I appreciated in the past. I wish you and your family peace in making these hard decisions.


__________________________

"Trust, but verify."
March 31, 2024, 07:15 PM
nhtagmember
Thanks all. Spending a lot of time at the hospital in his room - even when he’s sleeping. He knows I’m here.

Helping my mother out quite a bit. She has been run to the point of exhaustion this last week and I’m doing what I can to take the load off.

We have already decided on home hospice. But it’s a bit early to actually pull the trigger on that plan. He is in the last hospital he built here in Halifax so there are still a few of the staff here that new dad when he was the President. The medical library has his name on it so I’m convinced that he is getting some additional care he wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Not sure how long I’m going to be here but have plans right now to depart Thursday at the earliest and I hope by then to see a smile on his face.

Thanks all for the well wishes.
March 31, 2024, 07:21 PM
Tonydec
Wishing your father, you and family for strength in this time.

If he is conscious and communicative, ask for his wishes. Typically, they will choose to be at home in known, comfortable surroundings. Agree with all the recommendations for hospice care assistance to guide you in the most beneficial manner.


Tony