I've posted pictures of the Akitas that live at my daughter's house. One of them is technically "mine" as I convinced her to buy (and helped pay for) a companion for the puppy she wanted. I give her some money towards food and vet bills every month.

Baby daughter works at the biggest grocery store in the area. Today she was working the customer service counter, which is right next to the self-checkout area.

I dropped in to give her my monthly input towards feeding "my" dog. Being me, I walked up, handed her an envelope, and in a snotty voice said "Here's your child support, you can call off the lawyers now."

This 40-ish lady was checking herself out about 3 feet away and the look she gave me would've killed a lesser man outright.

I circled around and bought some stuff and came back by the customer service counter to see if my daughter had noticed and she and her partner were still giggling about it. Heck, I laughed all the way home.

It occurs to me that my MAGA hat may have been the icing on the cake...

I would've been looking around for this guy:

Beautiful!

While checking out at Publx the gril bagging my groceries held up the 6 pack of beer ans asked if I wanted it in a bag. Without missing a beat I replied no thanks, i'm going to drink it on the way home.

Yup, the same look.

Thanks, I got a good laugh out of that one.

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
"Here's your child support, you can call off the lawyers now."

Every so often I'll come up with something similar and it is always comical to see the reactions of those in the vicinity.

Well done!

When my eldest son was about 5 he tended to act up in restaurants. Refusing to stay in his seat, going under the table sometimes running around, etc. I would threaten him with the belt. This resulted in pleas for mercy from him and worried looks from other restaurant patrons. Eventually, I would stand up, take off the belt, and...

...strap him down to the chair like a seat belt.

My wife says that many a time she thought someone was about to come after me only to end up looking befuddled.

Love it, Fenris!

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "Don't make me get the belt."

quote:

Eventually, I would stand up, take off the belt, and...

...strap him down to the chair like a seat belt.

Reminds me of the time several years ago when I was in a Walgreens about ready to check out when my wife called with the "just one more thing request"...I told her to stop bothering me and that she was the worst wife I have ever had (totally kidding of course) and not inly did I get the stink eye from the cashier but an older male customer waiting for me outside and told me that speaking to my wife the was was not cool...he did find some humor in the fact we were so comfortable around each other that was normal daily banter

That's hysterical PhPaul!

When I was dating my wife, she got a call (the old ground line) on her phone, grabbing the phone quickly I answered “Passion palace how may I direct your call?” The look I got was priceless especially afterwords when she realized it was a church leader on the other end.

When I was a kid (Around 2ish) I apparently had some issues with my legs. I forget if I was bow legged or what but the solution was my MD put both of my legs in casts to straighten them out. My mother loves telling the story about how she used to get nasty looks everywhere she went pushing me around in a stroller with casts on both legs.

Eventually she got so sick of it she'd go "Yeah I broke his legs, what are you going to do about it?!" every time she got a nasty look. This would usually cause the people to walk away quickly.

Classic.

PC

quote:

Originally posted by Kevmo:
he did find some humor in the fact we were so comfortable around each other that was normal daily banter

My former boss and his wife were like that -- they picked at each other something fierce!
After one particular exchange -- in the lobby at their store -- he turned to me, grinned, and said: "If we didn't get along so well, we'd fight."

I was in a Women's clothing store making a payment for the GF. The store manager a loud mouth, rather large woman was giving a sales pitch to a customer who had picked out a goofy looking dress. Manager: "Oh, that's one of my favorites".

I said: "I thought a large tent would be your favorite".

If looks could kill...I wouldn't be here today.

One of my sons managed a higher end restaurant for a few years. Whenever I'd call there to speak to him, one of the hourly employees would always answer the phone. When they'd ask "who should I say is calling?" I'd always reply with something like "Detective Johnson from the Michigan State Police calling to see if he'll voluntarily come in to answer a few questions." He hated it when I'd call him at work.

Wish I could think of things like that on the spot. I always think of them after the chance has passed.