Edit to add, I found this elsewhere..

We have a 6 ft. Square tube and welded wire fence in the front yard, and last Saturday, when I heard some thieving Punks might be bringing their BS out to the country, I wanted to make sure they ran into a little resistance before meeting my Kimber 9mm, so I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.

Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 12.5 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, welded a 1/2 masonry bit to a piece of round rod, and sunk the ground rod 7.5 feet into the limestone..The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

On Wednesday my idiot neighbors hired another idiot to trim all their oak trees, yes in June, so now they will all probably die of oak wilt but that’s a whole other story, and one of the limbs came crashing down on top of my fence leaving the main wire down in the yard. So yesterday I'm mowing the yard with my 5 hp Briggs and Stratton push mower. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger so I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.

Well my sweet little wife had seen that the fence was unplugged and thought one of the dogs had accidentally done it, so she plugged it back in “for me”....How very thoughtful of her.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.21 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time.......stood........still..........

The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and damn lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot poop, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just shit your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a HEMI turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on ranches so I know all about electric fences ... but Grandpa always had those piece of shit chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled.

This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the solid limestone rock. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die .... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam engine waiting for the go command from it’s driver’s right foot.

So here I am in the middle of June , 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own front yard , begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day .... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire ....

I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.

There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.

Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:

1 - Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2 - I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3 - Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4 - My left eye will not open.

5 - My right eye will not close.

6 - The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7 - My nuts are still average size yet they are almost a foot long.

8 - I can turn on the TV in the bedroom by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???).

Yesterday changed my life.
I now have a newfound respect for things.
I appreciate the little things more, and now I will always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if someone does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which will also remind me to triple check before I mow.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: PakRatJR,

Yikes!

At least you have recovered well enough to sit and type proper English. Some can't do that even if they weren't fried the day before.

An electric fence that sends out shocks every ten seconds or so is a lot safer than one that delivers constant voltage. I almost lost a few pets with the constant voltage kind.

Hopefully you'll recover from this and be able to laugh about it later...

Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.


Braaaaahahahahahaha

This is going down in forum history as a legendary post.

God bless you. You should check your undershorts for jewelry because I'm thinking your sphincter might have made some diamonds.

Hahaha, that’s damn funny! Clean up must have been messy, baking in that heat! Wow!!
[FLASH_VIDEO]


Link to original video: https://youtu.be/xos2MnVxe-c [/FLASH_VIDEO]

What a jolting story!
Related:
I used to walk to elementary school and was often accompanied by a buddy. We had to pass a sheep pasture with (unknown to us) an electric fence.
On one trip, he asked me to wait for him while he....tinkled. You can guess the rest. He actually leaped backwards about 5 feet and then passed out.
I ran to the neighbors to get help and thats when I learned the fence was wired. My buddy spent the night in the hospital but was ok.

quote:

Originally posted by .38supersig:
Yikes!

At least you have recovered well enough to sit and type proper English.

Hopefully you'll recover from this and be able to laugh about it later...

... You guys realize this is just a repost of a joking story from elsewhere on the interwebs, right?

The OP wasn't really electrocuted. He didn't really peepoopuke himself. He can't really change his TV channel by farting.

It's humor. A joke. Fiction.

Um... Yes...

I almost live at Tractor Supply and that charger is never in stock.

This is a mega post of current grounding with a parallel inductive resistance.

But to say it hurts would be a serial story.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:
It's humor. A joke. Fiction.

Perhaps, but that doesn't take away from the humor factor. I laughed throughout reading that, which was relief I really needed today.

Holy cow, you're lucky to be alive. You should see a doctor.

I had the same situation with a 120V 4' shop light on a yacht for about 2 minutes.......

The post was VERY humorous.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:

quote:

Originally posted by .38supersig:
Yikes!

At least you have recovered well enough to sit and type proper English.

Hopefully you'll recover from this and be able to laugh about it later...

... You guys realize this is just a repost of a joking story from elsewhere on the interwebs, right?

The OP wasn't really electrocuted. He didn't really peepoopuke himself. He can't really change his TV channel by farting.

It's humor. A joke. Fiction.

Yeah, but damnit, it was funny.

LOL yup it was a repost, forgot to add that, sorry. Edited the post. Thankfully I have never been hit that bad

I will say tho, getting hit with 110 while trying to unplug a radio after getting out of the pool...it "tickles" in comparison to getting hit by a MSD box while trying to figure out why a SB Chevy wont fire...

Its funny. But the fact that its a repost without any comment is a total fail. Maybe even a double fail. or a triple fail. or worse.

OMG! I haven't laughed that hard in a while! I think that I broke a rib! I was crying....to funny. Thanks for the laugh.

ARman

I'm sure SOMEONE has done this.

I tried to read that to my wife, but couldn't. I was laughing too hard.

Thanks for posting that. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.