I think there was a thread on this years ago but how about another go-round?
Please list any known or proposed epitaphs that are humorous, profound, or otherwise memorable. To start us off...

"Pardon My Dust" (attributed to a writer or other celebrity whose name I can't recall).

"This is, indeed, a grave situation" (my own)

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les
No more

W.C. Fields once (may have) said his was to be, "All in all, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

Mel Blanc


"That's all Folks"

Here lies the body of Mary Lee
Died at the age of a hundred and three
For fifteen years she kept her virginity
Not a bad record for this vicinity

- Quoted by Robert Shaw as Captain Quint in Jaws. Shaw claims to have seen this epitaph on a headstone in Ireland.

Lauderdale County
Mountain Tom Clark, outlaw, birth unknown-1872

Tom Clark, one of the most feared men in North Alabama in his day, is buried beneath Tennessee Street near Florence City Cemetery in Lauderdale County. The people of Florence dedicated a memorial plaque to mark the grave, the inscription of which reads, in part: “"The notorious outlaw gang leader who boasted that no one would ever run over Tom Clark lies buried near the center of Tennessee Street where now all who pass by do run over him. In 1872, Clark, who terrorized helpless citizens during the Civil War, confessed to at least nineteen murders, including a child, and was hanged with two companions …”

Here lie the bones of screwey Dick, Who was blessed at birth with a cork screw prick, His life he did lead as a futile hunt, In search of a girl with a cork screw ........., At last he did find her and now he lay dead, Dumb son of a bitch was a left hand thread. Thats from a dead machinists grave stone.

BBL

My all time favorite -

"I knew something like this would happen someday"

My favorite:
Just Think!
Some night the stars will gleam,
upon a cold grey stone.
And trace a name with silver beam,
and lo, twill be your own!
That night is speeding on,
to greet your epitaphic rhyme.
Your life is but a little beat,
within the heart of time.
A little gain, a little pain.
A laugh, lest you moan.
A little blame, a little fame.
A star gleam on a stone.

Robert W. Service.
Poet laureate of the Yukon.

On a grave stone in Northumberland - NE England

'Sacred to the memory of Miss Lillian Pryle, born 1897 and Spinster of this parish and postmistress here from 1920 to her death, which occurred in 1966. 'Returned unopened'.

Thanks be to G*d'

tac

As I am a Francophone, two small epitaphs in French...

'Un peu d'amour
Un peu d'espoir,
Et puis, Bonsoir'

A little love,
A little hope,
and then, Good Night.

And -

'Voici la vie - une étincelle entre deux obscuritées;

'This is life - a spark between two darknesses.'

tac