Eject. Wave off.

It's not worth exposing yourself and/or family to this crap. If he wants to try to get a gun, that's on him.

This sounds like my Step-mom, and you have my sympathies.
She's not quite 100% to the level of your friend, but maybe 70% there.
A LOT of similar talking points.

For awhile, I'd try to have a rational conversation with her basically proving to her what she's blindly regurgitating is 100% bullshit. Sometimes it would click, most of the time it wouldn't.
(My personal favorite - which I felt compelled to watch just to know what kinda of crazy I was dealing with - was a video right after 1/6 dealing with, among a plethora of other things, the "Rods of God". Satellite-based kinetic energy weapons - think Project Zeus from GI Joe: Retaliation. But it had the usual BS about Executive Order blah blah blah, taking down the Chinese markets, Three Gorges Dam child smuggling ring, etc.)

It finally got so bad that I had to say that if she wants to continue her relationship with my family, anything involving the election, the vaccines, anything remotely "conspiracy theory" was off limits and not to be brought up in my presence. She couldn't have a single conversation without it making it way into it somehow.THAT finally got through to her. It hasn't stopped her from listening to the crazies I'm sure, but at least I don't have to hear it anymore.

It's remarkable how this particular conspiracy (Trump/QAnon/etc.) is blindly eaten up and regurgitated so readily and passionately by an insanely large amount of the population.
I've never met a legit, card-carrying Flat Earther, 9/11 Conspiracy-ist, or Pastafarian for that matter. But I know a lot of these wackos.

Delusional thinking can result from indoctrination. There is supposedly a Jesuit saying, “Give me the child for seven years, and I’ll give you the man.” That sort can be overcome or reasoned out of, but there is another type as well that is clearly the result of brain activity. Certain types of severe mental illness that can include strong delusions develops only in later life and has no apparent external cause.

What I call diseased thinking can manifest itself as not only irrational delusions such as belief in the “flat” earth or that our minds are being controlled by the CIA, but also extreme fixation on less irrational ideas that are shared by many people. Such ideas might continue to be held despite clear evidence against them, but people will either refuse to consider the evidence rationally or refuse to consider it at all. Because of how common such thinking is, I don’t consider that to be an illness.

On the other hand, if severe mental illness can result in strong delusions, it seems obvious to me that milder forms can develop within the brain from the same or similar unknown causes as well. What’s being described strikes me as that sort of mild mental illness. I’ve seen it myself in others, and know from experience that trying to reason sufferers out of it simply doesn’t work—at least not completely. It may be possible to eliminate or at least suppress the expression of certain delusions, but not others that may be more important to the person.

When I described one such person to a friend she mentioned medications of the sort that are used to treat severe mental illness. Unfortunately, though, when sufferers from severe forms that cause significant disabilities and life effects won’t take their meds consistently, what can we expect of someone who can function normally and is convinced that his ideas are perfectly valid and reasonable? In addition, mild delusions seldom turn into the sort that convince someone that his mother in law is a space alien who must be destroyed to save the planet.

Good luck with it, but based on my (fortunately) limited experience with the phenomenon, I wouldn’t expect miracles. That doesn’t mean to give up on someone we care for, but be willing to understand and accept that it may not be possible to change anything other than to perhaps get them to shut up in certain situations.

See if he can put down the icky-sticky, hydroponic chronic for 30 days…


Does he also take anxiety medication’s e.g. benzodiazepines?

People change. That's ok though, we're supposed to.

Sometimes it's OK to just let people go.

Pot won't help with paranoia. It will make it worse.

I cant help but think its the pot. I understand your intention not to bail on the friendship but your resistance to his beliefs may put you at risk. Maybe its time to distance yourself.

Sounds like serious mental illness. I'm not sure what you can really do to help unless you are in a legal/guardianship position to force him into professional help. Maybe talk to someone who is.

I agree with Yooper - try and get him some help but keep him at arms length for your own safety.

This could be paranoid schizophrenia. It is not uncommon for this to happen to men as they get older and marijuana use GREATLY increases the symptoms. If it is this, you and his family are going to have a very difficult time.

quote:

Originally posted by Aeteocles:
People change. That's ok though, we're supposed to.

Sometimes it's OK to just let people go.

We put up with your Alzheimer’s … Maybe we should just let you slip away.

quote:

Originally posted by Loswsmith:
This could be paranoid schizophrenia. It is not uncommon for this to happen to men as they get older and marijuana use GREATLY increases the symptoms. If it is this, you and his family are going to have a very difficult time.

Good analysis…

I blame a lot of this on cable news and social media.

I think it actually does cause mental illness.

More like brainwashing day in and day out. What the North Vietnamese did to POWS.

Sounds like your friend has some serious mental issues. You say his other friends have had enough and are keeping their distance. I'm thinking that should be the path you also take...and quickly.

Thank you all for your replies. I'll do my best to address everyone's input in the order it was posted.


He's not a danger or threat to anyone currently. He's not combative about his beliefs, he just wants to spread the info. He doesn't get mad or upset if people tell him off, he just believes deeply in what he's "researched" and wants to open people up to those perspectives.

If he got a gun that changes things. He does have road rage issues and I can 100% see him brandishing it or using it in what *he* would perceive to be self defense (like the guy in the dashcam vid threat). In addition he's very risk tolerant and *I think* he wouldn't keep the gun locked up. With a young child at home that's just asking for an accident. On the other hand he might surprise me and keep it locked up. We would never know until it becomes an issue.

I agree that alcohol/drugs and firearms don't mix and the feds have made it quite clear where they stand on marijuana even if it's medicinal (he's got a card).

I can't force him to seek treatment, psychological or medical. He has to want it in order to make it happen and right now, that's not going to happen.

He's stopped spending time doing things he used to love like watching sports, TV shows, movies, music, etc. The time he would use for those activities is now videos and podcasts on conspiracy stuff. I'm estimating 20-30 hours a week, perhaps more.

I won't bring the local authorities into it. At this point he hasn't done anything wrong and he's a caring, loving Father. I won't give his ex any ammo to take custody from him. As I previously mentioned he's not a threat to anyone and just likes the conspiracy stuff. He's been doing sales all his life and he's hit or exceeded his sales goals so his conspiracy obsession hasn't affected his work performance. Sure he's put off some of his coworkers but management is very hands on and they haven't had to put any disciplinary action for his conspiracy theories.

If he does end up getting a firearm I'm going to call his Mother and express all of my concerns and potential remedies. I'm not worried about him killing anyone. He's untrained and couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. I'm worried about him brandishing it and either getting it taken away from him and used on him or having someone call the cops on him for brandishing. Then there's the keeping it locked away from his daughter issue. I know I'll be the first person he contacts when he gets one so I'll cross that bridge when we get there, unless anyone has a better idea they would like to share.

Considering my current job is drinking beers at the beach and judging asses in thongs while doing so there is no Employee Assistance Program for me. Even if there was I sure as hell won't talk about anything firearms related with an employer for obvious reasons.

I could eject/wave off but I'm inclined to stick around and be there for him if and when he comes around.

Yeah I don't understand how these conspiracy theories can hook people as much as they do. Perhaps it's an interesting theory that may be considered but at the end of the day it isn't going to change anything and there's more productive uses of one's time.

The interesting thing is that my friend was never indoctrinated by anyone or anything. He stumbled upon it and I feel like with the divorce he needed something to fill that void. He found this and it's consumed him ever since. Prior to this he didn't have any semblance of a mental issue. He was a well adjusted young man who was embraced by all.

I have been trying to get him to quit the marijuana. I'm certain it adds to the paranoia. He's gone off of it in the past for months at a time but once he gets back on he's back on for years. That's kind of my strategy is to get him to stop the weed first then work on the other stuff. He went from having a family and being present 24/7 to joint custody where he now has 3-4 days a week of nothing to do but smoke up and listen these theories.

He's not on any medication as far as I'm aware.

I won't let him go, not without good reason. I don't have many friends, especially ones that go back 20+ years. I'm 100% certain if the roles were reversed he wouldn't give up on me. As for distance I'm in PR and he's in New England. We used to hang out at least 1-2 times a week but since I've been gone we'll chat once a month.

I'm not his legal guardian and if any of you met him he'd come off as a perfectly normal guy. It's only when you get to know one another he starts with the conspiracy stuff. Think of a religious person who is nice and pleasant when you first meet them but over time they won't STFU about Jesus and how we're all going to hell unless we accept Christ in our hearts and change for the better.

It's unclear if he's developed any mental illness/schizophrenia from his marijuana addiction. Unless he gets tested we'll never know.

The media definitely has its influence but he's off mainstream media. His idea of information is podcasts/video interviews of "people in the know." <deleted>

quote:

Originally posted by Hildur:
Don't bother asking me what I think about it, I didn't read/watch it.

In that case, you shouldn't post it.

Members are responsible for any links they publish in this forum.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:

quote:

Originally posted by Hildur:
Don't bother asking me what I think about it, I didn't read/watch it.

In that case, you shouldn't post it.

Members are responsible for any links they publish in this forum.

Sorry about that. Deleted.

I have to say, I'm continuing to pick up a tone or a vibe from your posts that really bothers me.

This idea that you don't think he should have a gun, somehow means you should intervene if he does.

You think he believes in things you don't, that don't really harm anyone...and as such, you don't think he should own a gun. What makes you the decider of who should own a gun?

I can't believe more people in this forum have not commented on that.

quote:

Originally posted by AKSuperDually:
I have to say, I'm continuing to pick up a tone or a vibe from your posts that really bothers me.

This idea that you don't think he should have a gun, somehow means you should intervene if he does.

You think he believes in things you don't, that don't really harm anyone...and as such, you don't think he should own a gun. What makes you the decider of who should own a gun?

I can't believe more people in this forum have not commented on that.

Technically the fact that he uses marijuana daily disqualifies him from buying a gun. That aside he has every right to own a gun. However, with ownership comes responsibility and in *my* judgment he doesn't comprehend or respect that responsibility.

This isn't big Government throwing a blanket over the masses. I've known him for over 20 years. We've been in situations where he got upset that I didn't use my gun to defuse a situation. I told him if I'm taking it out, I'm using it and *I* am the one who goes to jail and has to pay tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees even if I was justified to do so. He doesn't get that. Not. One. Bit. So yeah, I have concerns based on our personal history that he is going to wave a gun around and like I said someone is going to disarm him and beat his ass/shoot him with it or the cops are going to get called for him waving it around like an idiot. I don't think he has it in him to shoot someone but God forbid he does and that's a lesson that carries a 20 to life sentence if he's in the wrong.

I could sit back and say "hey, it's your life" but that doesn't help him if he doesn't get some guidance or his daughter if she finds the gun and shoots herself because he didn't think locking it up is that important. You bet your ass if he gets a gun he's going to get some safety lessons over the phone and his family is going to reinforce my recommendations that he gets proper training, mostly in the legal aspect of when he can draw his weapon.