At my four year olds fourth birthday party at the mall, another kids father showed up with his little sister. Although not invited the father ate large chunks of cake and requested tokens to play games. My daughter even noticed the slovenly behavior. I let it go for a variety of reasons one being he was a Circuit Court judge.

Tokens for himself to play games? That’s nuts.

I suppose it depends on the cost of the event and the level of disposable income with the families involved. But I could be wrong. When my kids were little family friends took our kids with them for fun stuff, and we did the same with their kids. In the end it worked out pretty even, but if the event was costly we ponied up in advance out of principle for the reasons stated. I could be wrong though.

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My daughter even noticed the slovenly behavior. I let it go for a variety of reasons one being he was a Circuit Court judge.

That's wild.

I bet if we were to guess his political affiliation, we'd probably all guess correctly.

As for the OP, and the poll... I also felt the choices begged further discussion.

Overwhelming sentiment that I see in the thread, I agree with. If I invite the friend, UNLESS I discuss the idea AND talk about costs with the parents, I'd assume I'm paying. If it is an expensive event, say a couple hundred dollars, and they offered, I'd likely accept a token amount or discuss a future event where perhaps the kindness might be repaid.

I just wouldn't suggest an option I couldn't afford and didn't anticipate covering the entire costs for.

Behavior of the child is where I'd decide to be miffed or not. If they child makes expensive demands or is rude and wasteful, it'd be the last time I ever invited that child to such an event. If the child orders large amounts of food, and wastes it. If the child demands upcharges, like special tours or expensive items at the gift store. That kind of stuff.

I'd always make sure I sent my child with some "pocket money." These days I just don't think I'd trust anyone with my child out in public. I'd insist on going also, and volunteering to cover half the costs.

Too many horror stories. Also I know my child. He has a switch. I know where that switch is. A lot of people don't pick up on the warning signs that his switch is getting ready to flip. Not all levels of autism are readily detectable to the masses who don't live with it.

Come to think of it...my dog might be autistic also.