What are some of the funny things your kids have said?

The other day we are searching the house for my 4 year old son's stuffed shark he sleeps with. Dang thing goes everywhere with him. Was given the creative name "Sharky".

To set the stage: We are looking everywhere together... upstairs, behind doors, in closets, literally EVERYWHERE!. I've also got two rottweilers.

So we are headed back down stairs together after sweeping upstairs for a 3rd time not finding "Sharky". He says: "Man, I hope the dogs didn't eat Sharky. Cause if they did we'll have to cut them open."

I'm not sure I've experienced that level of horrified mixed with hilarity ever!

Haha! I'm not sure this story is in the same category as yours but... On Christmas Eve I was at a family party and this 6 year old came up to me and my sister and asked us "Is Santa Claus real?" Well, me and my sister must have both been on the same wavelength because we both pretended to fall asleep right there...to avoid answering his questions. And he said, "you two are having sex!" Which completely took me by surprise... I guess since we were both "sleeping together". He got in trouble for that comment though.

I asked a friend's 4 year old grandson what he wanted for Christmas.
He replied, "A gobbage truck and some gobbage."

The kid grew up to become the captain of a nuclear submarine.

My three year old woke up yesterday, looked out the window and declared, "it really foxy outside." Indeed, it was very foggy out. .

He also likes to go to Chick-away to play and have nuggets.

Don't you dare touch his hillow either.


The oldest saiD (still does sometimes) "I love you really much."

Embrace these, they vanish with age as does the innocence.

When my (now) 23 y.o. son was a toddler, he loved Chinese food (still does). However, he called sesame chicken "Big Bird" chicken. He also loved to sing along with the Vanilla Ice song "White Rice, Baby."

When he was younger, my now 9 y.o. son had a habit. In public places, when he saw a woman with large breasts, he would loudly sing his favorite made up song: "Booooobies, boobies! (repeat ad nauseum)." It horrified his mother, but secretly, I thought, "That's my boy!"

When he saw a Chick-Fil-a, usually from at least a half-mile away, he began: "shickin! shickin nuggets!"

My niece used to love to remind me that we went to Holiday World lasterday.

Steak and Shake, 3 yr old son sees a firetruck going by, jumps up pointing and starts yelling: "F*CK! F*CK!"

When my son was about 4yo he had a GI Joe w/ a GSD K-9. He liked the dog much more than the Joe and he called it soldier dog. He took that dog everywhere.

We were at a county fair in southern VA and he had the dog on the trip. My wife and I tried to get him to leave the dog in the truck so it wouldn't get lost, but he just had to take it with him.

We had to go back to the truck and then back into the fair. As we were getting ready to leave, we noticed our son didn't have the dog. We searched all around the fair but couldn't find that dog. Our son was very upset about losing his soldier dog.

About twenty minutes after getting on the road, our son says: "Soldier dog was playing a trick on us. He was hiding in the truck."

He put the dog there when we went back but didn't tell us and didn't remember. He still has that sense of humor.

I was at a friend's house, visiting. She and I were passing her three and a half year old son's bedroom. He was looking out of the window at a heavy downpour. He did not realize that his mother and I were in the hall, right outside of his door, and he said to himself, "look at that fucking rain."

My friend later had some serious words with her brother-in-law (the kid's uncle).

My kid used to love to go to roll call with me. I would report to work, attend the briefing with the kid, and then my sergeant or I would take him home before rolling out.
During this time (he was about 5) my co-workers taught him to "check his baggage". When anyone would ask him to check his baggage, he would grab his nuts and give them a good shake. The cops delighted in seeing the kid in public and telling him to check his baggage. Which he never failed to do. Everyone thought this was hilariously funny, including the kid.
His Mother was not amused. To this day (he is now 27), my old comrades still ask him to check his baggage.
His mother and I are divorced. I wonder why?

I told my 6 yr old nephew not say any "potty" words again. He responded so I can say toilet, sink, soap.
Just had to laugh.

We were in church when one of sons was a toddler.

A fire truck when down the street with the siren on.

He turned to me and said "Daddy! A fire fuck!"

When my eldest daughter, now in her early 20s, was very young and learning the ways of the toilet, she tended to stay on kind of a long time, sometimes.

We were late to something and I had sent her in to go before getting in the car. After waiting for a while, I called out "Ok sweetie, your're done, let's go."

She responded "Nope! First you hear PISSSSSSSSSP, then you hear drip, drip, drip. Then you 're done."

It took me a while to recover from that.

Just a couple of weeks ago we put up a 25' flagpole at our house and have been flying the Flag daily.

Our 2 1/2 YO granddaughter is here this week, along with other family for Cheyenne Frontier Days.

Yesterday, we all went to the rodeo. The Leap Frogs, Navy SEALS parachute demonstration team is here and jumped into the arena at the start of the rodeo. The last SEAL to land in the arena had a huge American Flag held open by a weight at the bottom. Our granddaughter began to shout, "Look, grandpa, your flag!" "Your flag, grandpa!"

This message has been edited. Last edited by: TMats,

My kids are a bit older now, but they certainly had their fair share of silly sayings.

One time, we were sitting at the table eating dinner when my son, with a mouth full of milk, had to sneeze. He tried to hold it in, but it didn't work and he ended up nostrilly ejecting milk all over the table. My wife and I sat there, stunned and in silence, but my daughter piped in with, "Oh...My...Jesus!" Broke the tension perfectly.

Once, my son comes running into our room after taking a shower. We THINK he was trying to say his underwear were too small, because his little buddy was poking out the front of his underwear. What he ACTUALLY said was, "Mommy! My penis is too big!"

They are a little older now, but they can still be pretty hilarious. We were driving to dinner the other night and the son and daughter were talking about some iPad game or other when my daughter blurts out, "I love the Fire one the best! Fire! Fire baby! We need more Firepower!" Then she proceeds to dive into a made-up song about fire with such classic lyrics as, "Don't touch me or you'll get burned", and "I gotta have more FIREPOWER baby! Ooooo Yeah!" I was having a hard time seeing the road through the tears from laughing my eyes out.

Kids...They can suck, but they can also be fun.

- Bret

One of my daughters came up with the word "nexterday" which of course meant tomorrow.

Other daughter and I were play wrestling and she says "Daddy, Daddy STOP. You are choking my arm!"
Precious stuff you remember forever.

quote:

Originally posted by ulsterman:
We were in church when one of sons was a toddler.

A fire truck when down the street with the siren on.

He turned to me and said "Daddy! A fire fuck!"

quote:

Originally posted by M-11:
Steak and Shake, 3 yr old son sees a firetruck going by, jumps up pointing and starts yelling: "F*CK! F*CK!"

Seems to be a common occurrence. My nephew used to do the same thing around that age.

My daughter, then four, was riding in the back of a van full of relatives. We were driving past the Dick's Sporting Goods with a putting range where she loved to "play golf." As we drove past, she shouted: "Stop Dad, I been thinking about Dick's all day!"

quote:

Originally posted by TMats:
Just a couple of weeks ago we put up a 25' flagpole at our house and have been flying the Flag daily.

Our 2 1/2 YO granddaughter is here this week, along with other family for Cheyenne Frontier Days.

Yesterday, we all went to the rodeo. The Leap Frogs, Navy SEALS parachute demonstration team is here and jumped into the arena at the start of the rodeo. The last SEAL to land in the arena had a huge American Flag held open by a weight at the bottom. Our granddaughter began to shout, "Look, grandpa, your flag!" "Your flag, grandpa!"

You win.

Yer making my eyeballs sweat.