Last night was the annual Gridiron Dinner which Trump attended, unlike last year.

Some lines.....

"Nobody does self-deprecating humor better than I do. It's not even close," said Trump, who skipped last year's dinner. He also said: "I was very excited to receive this invitation and ruin your evening in person. That's why I accepted."

Referring to his son-in-law Jared Kushner’s loss of security clearance, he said, "We were late tonight because Jared could not get through security."

Addressing Vice President Mike Pence’s supposed hostility toward the LGBT community, he said, "He is one of the best straight men you're ever going to meet. ... He is straight. Man." Trump also said, "I really am proud to call him the apprentice."

Another target was former chief strategist Steven Bannon: "That guy leaked more than the Titanic."

“So many people have been leaving the White House,” Trump said at one point, joking about this week’s spate of White House departures. “It’s invigorating since you want turnover. I like chaos. It really is good. Who’s going to be the next to leave? Steve Miller or Melania?”

Of Attorney General Jeff Sessions: "I offered him a ride over and he recused himself. What are you going to do?"

Of The New York Times: "I'm a New York icon. You're a New York icon. And the only difference is I still own my buildings."

He said he needed to wrap up his comments quickly, noting, “I have to be up early tomorrow to watch Fox and Friends.”

He closed by saying: "I just want to say this, this is one of the best times I've had with the media — this might be the most fun I've had since watching your faces on Election Night."

This message has been edited. Last edited by: JALLEN,

quote:

Of The New York Times: "I'm a New York icon. You're a New York icon. And the only difference is I still own my buildings."

He closed by saying: "I just want to say this, this is one of the best times I've had with the media — this might be the most fun I've had since watching your faces on Election Night."

Bada BOOM! The best two lines.

Thanks for posting these.

RMD

The Master of Ceremonies remarked that the occasion was a first for Trump, “eating at a hotel he didn’t own.”

The guests enjoyed a 3 course dinner, described on “Fake Menus.”

Encouraged by the fact Trump accepted the Gridiron invitation, [New Orleans Mayor Mitch] Landrieu extended one of his own to the president: Come to the Big Easy, which has "everything Donald Trump likes and talks about."

Parades, for instance — and walls.

"You like walls. We've got one of those. It's called the levee," Landrieu said. "Too much public leaking goes on during Mardi Gras all the time. Gold: we've got that too. There are enough gold doubloons in the city of New Orleans you could literally write your name across a building in huge gold letters. Not that anybody would want to do that."

Another Trump line:

“In one job I had to manage a cutthroat cast of characters, desperate for TV time, totally unprepared for their roles and their jobs and each week afraid of having their asses fired, and the other job I was the host of a smash television hit.”

Oprah “says she’ll run only if she gets the go ahead from the almighty – alright, Oprah go ahead and run.”

Senator Tom Cotton got in a few good ones, like,

“I came to this city by way of the Ivy League and a few years in the military. Being the only senator still in his 30s, I arrived in Washington, as a young man looking for role models. As they say in crime stories, ‘the search continues.’ ...

“More than a few reporters have strained to find the sources of the electrifying personality that’s carried me so far in politics, and now you’ll know the answer. This is what you get when you combine the common touch of Harvard, the sensitivity of the Army, and the personal mentoring of Dick Cheney.“

“Another unexpected mentor is Sen. Elizabeth Warren. She was my first professor in law school, and she was a good one. She would even host dinner for students at her place — a hearty family recipe of stone-ground corn and freshly slaughtered buffalo. Liz calls it ‘pow wow chow’ and I just couldn’t get enough.”

There is a transcript of President Trump's remarks at Gridiron Dinner here.