The friend who sent me this is a retired IBM engineer and our computer guru. He's quite the wit...

*1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. *

*2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list. *

*3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until
you hear them speak. *

*4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. *

*5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public. *

*6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left. *

*7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in
a fruit salad. *

*8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research. *

*9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. *

*10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an
emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor." *

*11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. *

*12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice. *

*13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. *

*14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you
hit the target. *

*15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing
in a garage makes you a car. *

*16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. *

*17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder
for me to find someone older than me. *

Loving number 11.

Lots of #15 in my life over the years.

I'm going to start using #14.

All of them made my laugh but for some reason #2 made me laugh hardest.

Hey watch it there....I kinda resemble number 5