My dad is 89 years old and all his life he's been very healthy. And he still is relatively so (working in healthcare I see many, many people much younger than him on oxygen, in wheelchairs, etc.) Recently he has been experiencing weakness in his arms and legs which his doctor believes is neurological and he has started IV therapy treatments which seem to help temporarily. He is also suffering from easier loss of balance which is the reason for my post.

He has fallen several times in the last few months. Yesterday it was bad enough that he was taken to the ER by ambulance. He was home a few hours later with a couple of staples in his head to close the cut. My mom does all she can to help but at 82 she can't lift him when he falls and he doesn't have the strength to get up himself. As my parents live in FL and I'm 550 miles away in NC I can't be there to help all the time (we're discussing moving them here but having lived in FL since 1960 and the same house since 1963, they are not emotionally fond of the idea but that's another post for another time). I do not have any brothers or sisters so help in that area is not an option.

My mom has a walker she used several years ago after hip replacement surgery. She's asked my dad to use it but he is a very stubborn man - not so much pride in not wanting to use it (I think?) but I think it's more denial that he really needs it. So, like yesterday, he goes out into his garage without the walker, loses his balance, and ends up falling and going to the ER with a cut head.

I'm thinking that a better walker might help him since I'm sure the one he got from mom is one of the cheaper kinds the hospitals use. However, I'm wondering if a cane would be a viable option for him. He might be more willing to use it as it is less cumbersome, less restrictive on where he could go around the house (there are a few areas with single steps around their house), and may even be something that would seem less "old" or provide him with a better self-image of independence that a walker doesn't do.

I've done some reading on the "best" canes for seniors with balance issues but it seems that the recommendations are more selling a product than providing unbiased advice. I've read that single point of contact canes are not the best for balance issues, but have also read that canes with 3 or 4 points of contact tend to have the ends break more often. I've looked at Rollator Walkers which seem to offer good stability and mobility but seem large and might restrict his movements (they live in a small house), and then there's the whole "walker" self-esteem thing. I'm happy to buy any quality walker or cane that he needs but I want to be sure it's 1) going to help with reducing his fall risk, 2) allows him mobility/access throughout the house, etc., and 3) be something he's going to actually use.

For those of you who have experience with this (either with aging family members or personally), what would you recommend? Ideally the brand and model so I can research would be helpful. I know this is a personal choice and not everything works for everyone, but I'd rather take the advice of those here than a generic website.

I've known this season of life was coming and have dreaded it for many years. Not because of any work it places on me, but to see your parents age and their health fail is difficult. I've read posts about similar things and the loss of parents through the years here with compassion and empathy. I want to thank those who have shared these challenges here previously and who have faced these same issues (and worse). Now it's my turn.

I lost my Dad in 2016 and my Mom in 2018 and went through very similar issues.

Short story, if he won't use the walker, definitely get him a cane. My sister is an occupational therapist (OT) and she found a "self-standing" cane.

It had 3 or 4 contact points on the bottom which made it more stable. The added plus is it would stand on its own and thus be accessible after sitting down on a chair, going to bed, etc.

Much better than a single contact point cane which need to be leaned onto or hooked onto something which usually meant they fell down and were not readily accessible.

Best of luck!

Sorry to hear, my 84 year old father is going through the same thing, falling, nobody there to get him up, we live about 80 miles away so it's not something we can quickly run over to help.

He's dealing with Neuropathy issues as well and a few things that we've done are to get him a PT to show up and help with some exercises that will actually work, and compression socks, good ones will be very helpful.

We got him both a cane and a rolling walker.

With a Dr's script he should be able to get Medicaid to pay for the walker, they are not expensive. 4 wheels, brake and a place to sit when he feels weaker. They also have baskets so he can put things in it to carry around which helps.

https://www.walgreens.com/q/walkers+with+seats

I bought these compression socks, and he loves them, they work great, yes they have the copper in them, maybe it works, maybe not but it does seem to help keep them in good shape, he likes them, his Dr said they were some of the best quality he'd seen and wanted to order some, got two pairs for him. I also got them because they have larger sizes which we needed with his size 13 feet...

Note: to all the forum knowitalls, yes, we all know the copper doesn't do much, but that's not really the point of them, is it.
Compression Socks

This should be a good start, after a couple of falls I just had a talk with him, straight forward, it's time, you need this, you could get seriously hurt, you are 84 and it's just something that happens to us all. He's come around.

ALso on a recomendation picked up some full spectrum cbd relief creme, the process is to put it on his feet, the bottom where the dead or dying nerve endings are, and it will relieve the pain. He puts it on, then the socks and that seems to help as well.

Frankly he didn't bat an eye on using it which surprised me since it's CBD based. Go figure.

Banner CBD Link

When my dad was 93 he was still climbing ladders to clean his gutters.
My brothers and I talked them into an assisted living place. Like you said,
he was stubborn. Finally started using a walker at 98. We lost them both last
year. Mom was 98, dad was 100.

From watching people use walkers I'd avoid that, if possible. My observation is people end-up leaning, literally, too much on this aid and either prolonging or worsening whatever it was that prompted their use in the first place.

Have you looking into physical therapy to have professionals help him learn how to better-cope with whatever's going on?

Has he considered a gym membership, where he can go to get exercise under controlled conditions to help improve muscle tone, bone density, and flexibility?

Have him evaluated by a Physical Therapist if possible-this is their specialty.

Working 27 years in physical rehab brought me to the conclusion that people absolutely DETEST using a walker, even when it would be by far the safest ambulatory appliance for them. Probably partially because the walker is obvious evidence of their physical decline.

Single point canes are not designed to bear more than minimal weight, despite the fact that you see people leaning heavily into them. SPCs are best for individuals with minor balance issues.

Multi point canes are built to support more weight but are a bit cumbersome to use properly.

2 wheeled walkers offer good support, are lightweight, and usually fold easily to travel in a vehicle.

4 wheeled walkers with brakes and a seat are great, but are more expensive, heavier and more awkward to transport.

It sounds like a walker would be the safest option, IF he can be convinced to use it, but a cane would be better than nothing.

Good luck. I went through a similar situation with my father-it was difficult to get him to even use a cane.

My first-hand experience: I am 85, with balance problems due to Guillain Barré Syndrome and age. If I trip and fall, I am not able to get up by myself unless I have a solid hand-hold on something to help me climb up.

After months of physical therapy I was able to graduate from a walker to a standard (single foot) cane, which I use to help with balance, rather than bearing weight. I keep the cane by the side of my bed, along with a small flashlight, to help with balance and avoid falls for the nightly bathroom trip.

The most hazardous environment that I encounter on a regular basis, by far, is the shower. I'm pretty sure that if I'm badly injured in a fall, that's where it will happen. I installed grab rails, and I use a chair in the walk-in shower -- Drive brand, you can find their shower chairs, walkers, etc., in medical supply stores.

If your Dad is an iPhone user, consider an Apple Watch. Starting with the Series 4, they have had fall detection, and will automatically call 911 and the number(s) on the phone's contact list that have been designated as emergency contacts. My wife gave me a Watch after I had a bad fall in the driveway.

I plan to remain independent as long as I possibly can. In order to do so I will us a cane, walker, whatever it takes.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
If your Dad is an iPhone user, consider an Apple Watch. Starting with the Series 4, they have had fall detection, and will automatically call 911 and the number(s) on the phone's contact list that have been designated as emergency contacts. My wife gave me a Watch after I had a bad fall in the driveway.

Good idea!

I'm surprised I didn't think of this, myself, being as fall detection was the motivating factor for me upgrading my Apple Watch a year or so ago.

I don't have a falling problem, per se, though I do have minor balance issues. I'm just playing it cautious.

quote:

Originally posted by h2oys:
I lost my Dad in 2016 and my Mom in 2018 and went through very similar issues.

Short story, if he won't use the walker, definitely get him a cane. My sister is an occupational therapist (OT) and she found a "self-standing" cane.

It had 3 or 4 contact points on the bottom which made it more stable. The added plus is it would stand on its own and thus be accessible after sitting down on a chair, going to bed, etc.

Much better than a single contact point cane which need to be leaned onto or hooked onto something which usually meant they fell down and were not readily accessible.

Best of luck!

You might be thinking about this one:

https://www.hurrycane.com/coll...NEAAYASAAEgKHOvD_BwE

^^^That’s what my dad had and it worked great.

I have been dealing with what is called "late term Lyme disease." Basically Lyme that has had a long time to increase the level of infection because of misdiagnosis or whatever. I'm in year two of a pretty ugly battle. It was very hard for me to acknowledge that I needed a cane, and then when it was very obvious that I needed a walker, I resisted that. I would say don't push him hard or he will likely dig in more. But let him know--gently remind him without waiting for a response from him so you don't end up arguing-- that it would really increase his mobility. That's it, that's all. Let it go.

My recommendation is "Invacare." (Yeah, I wish they'd picked a better name.) But with handbrakes on the wheels, a storage compartment that doubles as a seat, it is an excellent device. Good luck.

quote:

Originally posted by Flash-LB:

quote:

Originally posted by h2oys:
I lost my Dad in 2016 and my Mom in 2018 and went through very similar issues.

Short story, if he won't use the walker, definitely get him a cane. My sister is an occupational therapist (OT) and she found a "self-standing" cane.

It had 3 or 4 contact points on the bottom which made it more stable. The added plus is it would stand on its own and thus be accessible after sitting down on a chair, going to bed, etc.

Much better than a single contact point cane which need to be leaned onto or hooked onto something which usually meant they fell down and were not readily accessible.

Best of luck!

You might be thinking about this one:

https://www.hurrycane.com/coll...NEAAYASAAEgKHOvD_BwE

Thats it.

Just a thought, if a cane seems "too senior," consider gifting him a walking stick, perhaps one that is nicely carved and could be considered a fashion accessory. I find that a walking stick helps tremendously with balance when picking up dropped magazines and other items at the range or wherever.

This is what made it acceptable to me to carry a cane. Also, I found a book about "fighting canes." Both on Amazon, about $100 for the cane. They also have a Viking head instead of the lion.

Wife uses a cane. Walker would be better but too many obstacles or narrow path ways.
I'll
Tip on 911, may be locale based. In my town if you call 911, ambulance and fire engine answers call. Once they were not sure if injured so took her to emergency room. No major injury so released her. No medicare coverage due to no major injury. $1500.

One of the EMT guys recommended if you need help to pick person up, call non emergency number and they send fire engine and 4-5 guys, almost same response time and no charge. Fire station is 6 blocks from house.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: wxl,

What about that walker advertised on TV that is chest height, allowing the user to walk upright? Having seen people use the "regular" kind (one was my mother), and using one myself briefly, they all force you to hunch over, look down at the ground because it is a strain to hold your head up, and shuffle your feet. One might as well paint a target on one's back. In my mother's case, this surely didn't help her already hunched back any.

quote:

One of the EMT guys recommended if you need help to pick person up, call non emergency number and they send fire engine and 4-5 guys, almost same response time and no charge. Fire station is 6 blocks from house

Good advice.

Finally got through to my dad about the walker after two or three "falls" times where his leg gave out and he couldn't stand back up on his own, didn't have his phone on him.

Finally had the talk,

1) take the phone, everywhere, do it every time, it's your lifeline, do it until it's a habit.
2) Falling means you could be on the floor a while, and if you are hurt, and you don't have your phone it could be very bad.
3) got him a cane, he uses it from time to time, but eventually he decided he preferred the walker, now he has two, one with wheels for longer walks to the mailbox area, and one inside.

We built him some steps over the old brick steps with a heavy duty bannister he can lean on and it's allowed him to easily get in and out of the house.

quote:

One of the EMT guys recommended if you need help to pick person up, call non emergency number and they send fire engine and 4-5 guys, almost same response time and no charge. Fire station is 6 blocks from house

Just today..... There was this guy that looked like a passed out drunk in my front yard.. I swear I hadn't had anything but water! Police car, came along, looking for the drunk. Then the fire engine. Yeah, 4 guys got out and looked at the empty yard! Wife went outside and talked to the firemen. Explained I was trying to increase my distance, and went too far! All the damned dog wanted to do was lick my face. Seems like a guy can't even take a nap in his own front yard! They'd better get used to it. There's not even a bar within a non-so-easy walk. My best neighbor suggested I stash a bottle of bourbon under my front bushes - for emergency use.

I don't know your dad. Years ago, one of my buddies had the same problem with his father. So I bought them a present at the gun show. Not that expensive and I'm not that tight. So Mike goes to visit his father, carrying the cane/stick with him. Tapped the thing on the chair leg and got a satisfying rattle. His dad, an old gun nut among other things, asked "whut was that". No reply except for another tap and rattle. Then he said "its a present from Dick". Conversation continued, until another tap on the chair leg. Then Mike showed him the sword, neatly hidden inside. Out it comes with just a twist. Big smile. Then the question " That's for me?"

For the next few years until he passed away, the cane went with him everywhere. Anyone pissed him off or got him just a little upset, the cane rattled! The old guy admitted it was the best present he'd ever gotten. I think the well schooled folks call that misdirection. Everyone knew pop carried something in that cane.

Oh, back to the drunk in the yard. I'm trying to build up some walking ability, but its not coming fast. Down to the church and back seems to be too far right now. The damned dog just wants to lick my face (and his ass). He hates it when I hug him, but he knows its coming if I can grab him. Wife knows too, so she takes his leash so I can't reel him in.

Best cane I have has a Gil Hibben sword inside. And a genuine ivory handle. Its a two-fer. The libs hate the idea of a knife, and the idea that the already dead elephant adorns the handle. This isn't a mass produced item, something Gil made special order. But yeah, like so many things I bought it at a gunshow.

I had a friend who tried to use a walker but would get sort-of trapped inside of it and couldn't get out or maneuver.

quote:

Originally posted by architect:
Just a thought, if a cane seems "too senior," consider gifting him a walking stick, perhaps one that is nicely carved and could be considered a fashion accessory. I find that a walking stick helps tremendously with balance when picking up dropped magazines and other items at the range or wherever.

I turned 84 last February. Fortunately, I am still pretty mobile. Biggest problem is my weak/creaky knees. I try to do at least a 4 mile bike ride each day. Used to do up to 12 miles a day, but got lazy. I don't need a cane, but salvaged a nicely decorated, lightly carved pool cue that I plan to use as a "walking stick" when my knees get worn out.