Recently former Navy Seal, Rep.-elect Dan Crenshaw (Texas) was in the news because of a bad joke about him on SNL, and his classy response to that joke. That entire exchange is not the point of this thread.

Rather, I'd like to know what vets think of Crenshaw's suggestion that instead of saying "Thank you for your service," those of us wishing to express our gratitude say "Never forget."

Crenshaw said:
When you thank somebody, it's almost like you're on other side of them. When you're say 'never forget,' it's almost like this secret code between Americans where we all recognize that we can never forget the sacrifice of our veterans — past and present — but also never forget why a lot of veterans are still out in the fight now," he said. "It's more of a team effort.

I see his point in that TYFYS could be perceived as "transactional," i.e., you did something for me, and I'm obliged to thank you for it. For me, that obligation and gratitude is real. However, I understand his point that maybe vets generally prefer instead to feel like they're not being put on a pedestal, rather, those of us who didn't fight are still shoulder-to-shoulder with them in whatever way a "civilian" can be.

Question:
Veterans, what do you prefer?

Choices:
"Thank you for your service"
"Never forget"
No preference

 

That exchange on SNL was the first I heard of, "Never Forget". I prefer it to, "Thank you for your service." That's always made me feel uncomfortable. I served, did nothing special, but know many more who did.

Agree with Z-71, don't really need thanks, and I always say thank you back, but I never heard of Never Forget until yesterday.

I would prefer it though.

quote:

Originally posted by Poacher:
Agree with Z-71, don't really need thanks, and I always say thank you back, but I never heard of Never Forget until yesterday.

I would prefer it though.

Same here...makes me feel awkward

I too agree with Z-71. Having served in a time where the gratitude was woefully less than it is now.

The thanks is not needed as to me it was a job, a learning experience, and a chance to see parts of the world I otherwise would have never seen. It was a true adventure that I could never have afforded on my own.

Not a vet. I prefer to say "Thank you for your service". Of course, we never forget what the vets did for the country. That's a given. I just don't walk up to a vet and say "Never forget".

Btw, you can take off one vote, since I wasn't supposed to vote.

As a vet, I just want to be left the hell alone. No stupid free meals, no BS. Maybe that's just me.

I really just wish people appreciated the sacrifices made on their behalf.

I prefer just an acknowledging nod of the head.

quote:

Originally posted by stoic-one:
As a vet, I just want to be left the hell alone. No stupid free meals, no BS. Maybe that's just me.

I really just wish people appreciated the sacrifices made on their behalf.

No stoic, it's not just you. I feel the same way.
No need to say anything to me regarding my prior service.

Also, I'm not comfortable taking discounts just because I'm a veteran. Seems weird to me.
What about the LEO's, firefighters, EMT's , etc. who put their lives on the line every day?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tgtshuter,

Thanking me for my service always makes me feel unconformable. The Navy was good to me and I probably got as much out of it as it got from me. Thanking me for serving almost makes me feel a little guilty about that. (almost)

While I don’t go looking for discounts or free meals I have no problems with those who do because as much as I got from the Navy, military service does comprise of a lot of sacrifices and while my ledger sheet is balanced, I know a few guys who gave the military much more then they got back from it.

While I agree with the others who've said it makes them feel uncomfortable when someone comes up to me and thanks me for my service, to come up and tell me: 'never forget' would probably initially cause me to wonder if I forgot to lock my truck or pull my zipper up.

I do appreciate the discounts and such, but I feel these should also be presented to our first responders as well.

Aside from 'Thank you for your service', I don't know what else would work in this situation.

Because my war was cold, I keep a low profile, Veteran wise.
The service and sacrifice of other SF members and our other Vets are far greater than mine. They are far more deserving of gratitude and thanks than me.

quote:

Originally posted by stoic-one:
I really just wish people appreciated the sacrifices made on their behalf.

Serious question from a non-vet: There are many of us who do and might wish to communicate such to veterans. Do you have a suggestion how to do so that doesn’t make you uncomfortable?

I don't take special discounts or offers.

Instead of a simple "Thank you for your service" or "Never forget" I would simply prefer people prostrate themselves on the ground in front of me, then get back up and kneel, and repeat for a total of 9 times for each deterrent patrol I made.



Actually, a simple nod of the head as an acknowledgement would do. I don't expect any special recognition.

As I think more about this, in general, it seems I only remember the good times when on patrol. Good people I met in the sub force.

It's not in the survey, but I try to make it a point to simply say "Hey, I appreciate you" to any military, LEO, Firefighter, First Responder, etc. All of you men and women who are doing, or have done, the work and things that I can't imagine doing myself...I appreciate you!

I don't wear anything which would ID me as a vet, so I avoid the entire issue.

quote:

Originally posted by pawprintsdoc:
"I appreciate you.”

Maybe it’s the context I’ve had it delivered, but as a civilian, this one makes my skin crawl. Usually, this comes from angry, standoffish black people where I live, and offered in place of a simple “thanks” for anything like holding the door, accompanied by a cold stare.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:

quote:

Originally posted by stoic-one:
I really just wish people appreciated the sacrifices made on their behalf.

Serious question from a non-vet: There are many of us who do and might wish to communicate such to veterans. Do you have a suggestion how to do so that doesn’t make you uncomfortable?

Did I mention "I just want to be left the hell alone"
To be clear, I never said anything about being "uncomfortable".

Seriously, you can treat me like any other person, and if military service comes up and you say thanks, that's way less awkward. You don't necessarily have to communicate appreciation, you can just live like you acknowledge the fact sacrifices have been made. And I don't have to hear it to know you understand.

To me, veterans day is more of a holiday for civilians to show appreciation to people who have served or are serving, every damn day should be veterans day(police/1st responders, whatever). Memorial day to pay homage to those who made the greatest sacrifice, or have passed... None of that means, "talk to so and so, he served".

None of the above makes me want a free meal at Golden Coral or Applebee's, I could go without eating at those places any of the other 365 days of the year. As I said, maybe it's just me.

So my 11 year old who thinks cops and vets are heroes and loves to thank them, should stop? I didn't realize this pisses off some vets so much. Any time he sees a cop he says thank you for keeping us safe, and anytime he sees a vet he thanks them for their service.


Seriously, I guess I should tell him to stop doing it, I didn't know it makes some uncomfortable or irritable.

quote:

Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
So my 11 year old who thinks cops and vets are heroes and loves to thank them, should stop? I didn't realize this pisses off some vets so much. Any time he sees a cop he says thank you for keeping us safe, and anytime he sees a vet he thanks them for their service.


Seriously, I guess I should tell him to stop doing it, I didn't know it makes some uncomfortable or irritable.

That decision is up to you, however you handle it don't let it go in the opposite direction so he thinks it's wrong to do. Your 11 year old son doing this by his choice, is a testament that you brought him up to be respectful, you should be proud of him and yourself.
Good for you!