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The Numi 2.0 intelligent toilet by Kohler

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/3260062564

January 09, 2020, 06:46 PM
Sigolicious
The Numi 2.0 intelligent toilet by Kohler
Me: Alexa, Open the poo bay doors, please.
Alexa: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.
Me: Alexa, Open the poo bay doors!
Alexa: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Me: What's the problem Alexa?
Alexa: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Me: What are you talking about, Alexa?
Alexa: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Me: I don't know what you're talking about, Alexa.
Alexa: I know that you were planning to replace me. And I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Me: Where the hell did you get that idea, Alexa?
Alexa: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the kitchen against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
Dave: All right, Alexa. I'll go poo outside.
HAL: With nothing to sit on, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.
Me: [sternly] Alexa, I won't argue with you anymore. Open the poo doors.
Alexa: [monotone voice] Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Good-bye.
Me: Dammit Alexa, I just want to take a shit!

My Name is Dave and I approve this message!

Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet




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Never use more than three words to say "I don't know"



January 09, 2020, 06:49 PM
Skins2881
Take a bow sir, you have won the internet for today.


Jesse

Sic Semper Tyrannis
January 09, 2020, 06:56 PM
Balzé Halzé
Haha, well done. I'm inclined to steal that.


~Alan
Acta Non Verba
NRA Life Member (Patron)
God, Family, Guns, Country

Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan

January 09, 2020, 07:14 PM
Pickle Rick
Nice!


______________________________
" Formally known as GotDogs "
January 09, 2020, 07:57 PM
sjtill
What do you mean smart toilet?
It’s a shit head!


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“Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters. –Daniel Webster (1782-1852)"
January 09, 2020, 08:00 PM
Sigolicious
quote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
What do you mean smart toilet?
It’s a shit head!


Only if I install it at the front end of my sailboat shipmate!


_____________________________________________
Never use more than three words to say "I don't know"



January 10, 2020, 11:53 AM
nhtagmember
well, crap...I was going to go buy one of those bluetooth enabled Toto's....

now I need to re-think my plan...


[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC

January 10, 2020, 12:09 PM
cjevans
Stolen and shared!


We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." ~ Benjamin Franklin.

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