I'm thinking of trips we've taken over the years but it could apply to almost anything including the reverse. Was the event, when it finally came, as great as you anticipated?

I came across a quote that prompted this question. I thought it was spot-on and pretty elegant as well.

"Each great experience is a whisper which Memory will warehouse as a shout."

No they were not. And since I'm a bit of a gear-head, I usually connect this type of thought with muscle car ear.

Everybody talks about clean lines, uncluttered engine bays, and ultimate big block horsepower; but it seems they all have a blind spot for terrible handling, shitty brakes, 8 miles per gallon, and poly-glass tires.

A little off topic but I think of the romanticizing of events and time frames. We see the movies and books all depicting the beauty and simplicity of the medieval period or 19th century. Then you walk by an old cemetery and spot that at least 30 percent of the graves are small and say things like " Baby Jones 1892-1894" and realize that it was not uncommon to refrain from naming your children until you were sure they were going to survive.

For me yes.

My wife and I love to go on cruises. We go on 7 day Western Caribbean cruises and have averaged two a year for the last few years.
Over the years we have not only made friends in the islands but crew members on the cruise ships them self.
So for us it is not only a vacation to get away but a chance to friends.

We were lucky last year. We were able to get a cruise in two weeks before the cruise lines shut down.

Unfortunately not knowing when cruises will start again we have not been able to see those friends. Right now the only thing we have are the good memories.

I often find the anticipation of an event to be the best part; better than the actual event or memories. In my mind when planning and preparing, everything goes perfectly with the desired outcomes. Life, in reality, rarely meets those expectations. Not to say the events aren't worthwhile or enjoyable though. I guess our memories similarly smooth out the negatives in significant events as well.

I've also noticed another interesting thing about memories. I remember the home I grew up in as being much larger. 25 years or so later I drove by the house and was surprised that it was much smaller.

Michael

OP brings up the question not just of 'whether reality is a matter of perception', but the further inevitable 'whether reality is a matter of what we remember' of such event.

Posting for various clan members who have entered that phase where memories and swiss cheese begin resembling a similar reality.

I often research the boom and bust history of the Upper Peninsula and then take trips to the places I have researched. Most of the research involves reading newspapers from 1860 to 1930 and researching the old cemeteries.
Life was hard. It was especially hard for women and children.
Its human nature to view the past as a better time but we tend to recall only good aspects of the past, as opposed to the totality.

quote:

Were the actual events as good as our memories?

Oh, Julie, where are you now?

I would like to think so. We have traveled a lot including road trips, rail, cruises, trans Atlantic flights, Mexico and Canada. We actually lived in Mexico for a year before it went to hell. We have wonderful memories that are documented with photos. No fake sugar coating is required on our experiences.

I think a lot of this has to do with a person's personality.

I'm neither a pessimist nor an optimist, but I lean more towards pessimist. I tend to remember both the good and the bad. For example, the old job where I had significant responsibility with very few layers of approval or consultation and as a result got a ton accomplished and felt like I made a difference every day. On the other hand, I also remember going further and further onto the proverbial "skinny end of the branch" where if it went wrong then it's a career limiting.

In addition, my memory of an event also is affected by how much planning I had put into it. With my personality, I'll remember everything that didn't go according to plan as well as whether or not it went well (i.e. good memory with a few blights). If I didn't put much planning into it and it went well then I'll probably remember it better than it was.

we have many dozens of very nice memories of our travels throughout the South west, west, and north west states.

I found a 20 page journal of days on holiday , that I started,
I kick myself on a weekly basis for not continuing that practice.

I would have had 150 pages , I am sure.

My answer is yes , to the original question

Yes. The wife and I had a habit of flying into Atlanta, renting a car, and doing a road trip in the southeast. We did this for six years straight. Looking at the pictures we took, the people were oh so nice, the food fantastic, and beautiful scenery. The pictures tell me that those trips were as nice as my memories. Oh, the humidity sucked but you can see me sweating in the pictures

'The best thing about hunting and fishing,' the Old Man said, 'is that you don't have to actually do it to enjoy it. You can go to bed every night thinking about how much fun you had twenty years ago, and it all comes back clear as moonlight.'

Robert Ruark

I believe that I can recall moment by moment my first day at MCRD Parris Island SC and my last day of active duty at MCB Camp Lejeune NC four years later 1964-1968. What occurred in between those days I don't talk about to others unless unless their experiences paralleled mine.

And some of us cannot compare the memories with the actual events because our memories are so limited. It would be interesting to know how many other people are like me because I have very poor memories of life events in general. My wife has traveled literally all over the world and she has clear memories of the people, places, and events of most of them. I, however, remember only small vignettes, and usually the things I didn’t enjoy like roasting on a train with no AC in the UK while waiting for it to leave the station or fighting with luggage on a city bus.

There are many exceptions, but even things like recalling details about a house where I lived for an extended period of time are often just blanks. I have vague memories of the apartments where I lived in Germany, but would have no idea of how to get from them to where I worked and traveled hundreds of times.

That doesn’t mean I have a poor memory in general. Things I study or read I tend to remember very well, but even when I remember specific things I enjoyed while traveling like a meal at a side street restaurant in Trieste, it’s usually just general impressions, not specifics. I suspect that’s why my wife always enjoyed traveling more than I did.

Really cool question you pose. As I thought back it brought me back to Thanksgiving with grandparents. How I've longed to have that again. Would it be as special as I remember? I like to think even more so.

During the blizzard of ‘78 we had 2 giant snow piles left by plows. We built them into giant snow forts and had incredible snowball wars. They had tunnels in them and were as big as a house. That’s how I remember it.

Some memories are every bit as good as the event. In my case it may be a vignette like the view of the Atlantic with a full moon from the deck of a house that we rented. It may be a longer event.

The memories that are often better are food/drink related. Years ago a friend and I came off the trail after a week long backpack trip. The rendezvous point for our ride was a tavern. It had rained heavily that day and I guess we looked a little rough so a patron at the bar bought us a couple Rolling Rock. That beer was ambrosia, that tavern got the good stuff since Rolling Rock NEVER tasted that good before or after that day.

I think also after time, for things long ago, especially things from childhood, you start to have memories of memories, rather than of the actual event and they become less accurate.


Good times, if only I'd known they were good times at the time. Were they really good, or just not as bad as now?

quote:

Originally posted by cas:
I think also after time, for things long ago, especially things from childhood, you start to have memories of memories, rather than of the actual event and they become less accurate.


Good times, if only I'd known they were good times at the time. Were they really good, or just not as bad as now?

Memories of memories reminds me of something. I have a vivid memory of almost drowning in our above ground pool. I remember my sister pulling me out. It’s a very specific memory as we had this giant bubble thing in the center of the pool that broke and I was stuck inside it.

Strangely my brother insists that it was him and not me that was saved by our sister. It’s possible I only remember the story or event and it wasn’t me. But without my brother’s story I’d insist it was me.