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Member |
I recall several years ago a man driving a large RV into a parking garage. Like many parking garages it had a bright yellow over height clearance bar hanging from the first floor roof. His buddy was concerned it might not clear so he and a friend held up the bar to get the RV into the parking garage. It cleared allright and promptly got stuck about three feet in. | ||
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I Am The Walrus |
This could be a never ending thread... _____________ | |||
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Member |
Having spent my career in banking, on a few occasions I have helped a poor guy let air out of his tires so he could back his truck and cab over camper out of our drive through lane. I also helped a guy pick up the peaces after our drive through cleaned 2 bikes off of the top of his minivan. Mike I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown ................................... When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham | |||
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Coin Sniper |
oh god... where do I start? There was the Burger King employee who was measuring the temperature of ice to make sure it wasn't any warmer than 32 Deg F There was the drunk guy who drove his POS home and got yelled at by his wife for almost hitting her car as he pulled in the drive. So to show her he got back in his car, backed up, and drove it into the big tree in the front yard. He was arrested for DUI and totaled his car leaving hers unscratched. Or the guy who pulled into the Taco Bell drive in with his two super expensive road racing bikes on the roof rack, tearing down the awning and destroying both bikes. and the list goes on... Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys 343 - Never Forget Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive. | |||
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Ignored facts still exist |
A lady shooting next to me at a range north of Dallas, Texas turned her pistol muzzle 90 degrees when she racked the slide. She was holding it in a weird position near her body, which made racking it easier, but she was pointing it right at me. I told management and then I left and never went back. . | |||
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The cake is a lie! |
There was a guy at work who cut the same finger off twice. The first time was an accident, the second time, he cut it off again while showing how he cut it off the first time. | |||
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Member |
Didn't see it, but my friends dad pulled away in their new RV with the awning still extended. A light pole rectified his mistake. | |||
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Green grass and high tides |
Well I don't know about anyone's else's mistakes but I changed the oil in my almost new Honda accord. As luck would have it, It needed some serious mannual transmission work shortly after that. "Practice like you want to play in the game" | |||
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Administrator |
At Costco, I saw a lady park a shopping cart perpendicular to her SUV, right at the tailgate, and manually unloaded the contents of her shopping cart into her SUV. Her SUV was parked parallel to a planter. Once done unloading, she promptly turned the card 180 degrees, tipped it up and put the front two wheels in the planter. The only problem was the shopping cart was still directly behind her SUV as she proceeded to back out. A good Samaritan ran over to "save" her. I just shook my head. I am not above a good round of altruism, but 1) If you're going to be a lazy ass, then maybe you deserve the self-inflicted damage you are about to do to your own vehicle, 2) Someone who had the presence of mind to back over a shopping cart she herself put in her own path might just as easily run me over as I tried to remove said cart. In the end, it just wasn't worth risking my life to save some else from the auto-body risk they set themselves up for. | |||
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Member |
We arrived at the commuter train station a few minutes early one morning, and waited in the car with the motor running. The woman next to us was doing the same, but spotted some friends, jumped out of her car and walked to the train platform with them. Her car was still running when we got back to the station at the end of the work day, my girlfriend's note still under her windshield wiper, "Thanks for the good laugh this morning!" -------------------------- Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. -- H L Mencken I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is. -- JALLEN 10/18/18 | |||
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Quit staring at my wife's Butt |
I saw a guy hold up the tongue of a car dolly to get a better angle so the car would make it up the ramps easier while two guys pushed a station wagon on it. pinned the guy against his truck he screamed pretty good and got an ambulance ride. | |||
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Coin Sniper |
Oh... and there was the guy who wouldn't believe the Sheriff Deputy, or my dad (a Reserve Deputy) that the deer with it's eyes closed wasn't dead. He loaded it in the trunk and drove off. We caught up with him a mile or so later and all of a sudden the back of the car started jumping all over. Then a tail light fell out and a hoof came through the trunk lid as he pulled over. Unfortunately the deer broke it's neck in trunk, and also made one hell of a mess. Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys 343 - Never Forget Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive. | |||
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It's not easy being me |
Is it wrong to laugh out loud at this? Because I did.... _______________________________________ Flammable, Inflammable, or Nonflammable....... Hell, either it Flams or it doesn't!! (George Carlin) | |||
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Do No Harm, Do Know Harm |
I watched a dummy walk across what's probably the most dangerous highway/interstate in Charlotte one night, not paying a GD bit of attention, and get hit by a car. Somehow it only hurt his ankle. Right in front of me...as I was blocking traffic for the wreck he had already been in. Got that one on camera. Then, after the ambulance left, I watched him almost get hit again, in the same spot. Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here. Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard. -JALLEN "All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones | |||
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Member |
Wife told me about how a young frat boy came into the ER with a dumb bell donut weight stuck on his erect penis. Seems Biff thought he'd work that muscle out, got bloodflow in, but coudln't get bloodflow out. She drew the short straw and had to drain the area with a syringe. Guy passed out when she walked in with the needle. S&W M-66-2 (3")/ S&W M-65LS (3")/ S&W M-10 (2")/Colt Combat Commander Series 70 | |||
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No double standards |
OK, that one hurt. I do woodwork in the garage, have all my fingers, also have some scars. That one hurt, I am still wincing a bit. "Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women. When it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it....While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it" - Judge Learned Hand, May 1944 | |||
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Now Serving 7.62 |
Did t see this one but worth honorable mention, butt-chugging beer at UT in Knoxville. I just don't under, I can't.. Then there were two occasions when inmates in segregation/isolation cells light themselves on fire, two different inmates. Or the time an inmate got a Dear John letter while in prison and he shared it with his friend. Now you have to understand these two fellows are jovial friends all the time but not today. Friend 2 keeps at friend 1 (who actually got the Dear John) even after being warned multiple times to. To fuck with him. Friend 1 had a 12" screwdriver and at some magical point, probably around the time friend 2 asked for friend 1's lady's number. The screwdriver handle was flush against the skin near the clavicle and barely penetrated the back. I could go and on boring y'all. | |||
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The Joy Maker |
Last year at the fair, someone did that in the employee parking lot. Nobody knew who it was, so they couldn't call anyone inside, so they just let it run until that person came back at the end of their shift to find that their car was still running 10 or 12 hours later. Unlocked too. Then there was the stoners who lost their car keys and were running around, while hitting off a pipe, looking for them. The best part is the guy who they gave the keys to so they wouldn't lose them, didn't smoke, he was just slow. Finally they had to have a lock guy come out to let them into their car, who I had to talk to and direct to our location since they were too high at this point to give directions.
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Frangas non Flectes |
You maybe aren't the only one who's done that. My old man has a garage full of tools and all the ego to show them off, but in highschool when I wanted to rebuild a 454 in an '86 Chevy Scottsdale, it was "here's a Hayne's manual, have fun." Big trucks have lots of transmission fluid in them, and it was a smug satisfaction seeing that big red stain in the driveway for some time after. He was sure pissed, but I reminded him that beginners make mistakes, and a beginner with a pro selection of tools and no supervision can accomplish amazing mistakes. I may have misread the manual on that one, but it was sure exciting! ______________________________________________ “There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too.” | |||
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Jack of All Trades, Master of Nothing |
I work in an ER, I've seen more of the after affects rather than the actions themselves. My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball. | |||
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