With twin boys, everything comes down to 'what's fair'; especially when if comes to dividing food of some type into two.

From a very young age my answer has been to let one boy do the dividing, and the other boy choose which piece he wanted. Works every time.

What else do you have?

(And if we could avoid turning this thread into a debate about discipline and criticizing folks parenting skills, that would be appreciated.)

The purpose of this thread is light hearted and useful tips that we dads and mom’s can share with each other.

Write down the "cute" words or stories that you don't correct. In later years they are hard to remember.

For example, the oldest boy said "I love you really much" before he learned "very." There were others, but time eroded the memories.

The youngest says things like "chick away" and "tonorrow" instead of Chick fil-A and tomorrow.

The most recent funny story involved me having pain from a kidney stone. He (youngest) was there as I described the pain to the wife and medical staff. I had explained that the pain all started in my left testicle then moved into my back. A week or two after all of that, the little guy asked my wife, "are Dad's tenticles okay?"

Beyond that, my thoughts are, do what you say, don't make an empty promise or threat. Get them hooked on reading. It's okay to admit error(s).

Every child is different, and the only way to know what makes them tick is to spend time with them. Not just quality time, but quantity time. Put the phone down, back away from the computer, get down on the floor and play with them. There are no shortcuts to success.

Ours aren't twins, but are 8 & 5.
I like the separation of divide & choose, will give that a shot.

all your kids will be different -- perhaps very much so

avoid comparisons and one-size-fits-all parenting

not every kid gets a trophy

getting straight A's is not necessary to be successful in life. i stress critical thinking vs. 'raw intelligence' in my kids

respect people different from yourself but be confident in who you are

it's okay to make mistakes - just try to learn form each one

enjoy the journey - it ain't easy

-----------------------------------

Well With 3 kids, 8 grandkids and 2 great grandkids my number one piece of advice is...

Only buy them brown underwear.

quote:

Originally posted by cparktd:
Well With 3 kids, 8 grandkids and 2 great grandkids my number one piece of advice is...

Only buy them brown underwear.

Brown in the back, yellow in the front...

Ronin, what you describe is how my parents did it too. being the oldest I quickly learned to hide the "good stuff" or pick last. My dad figured me out pretty quick.

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Ronin, what you describe is how my parents did it too.

Yep. That's what my parents did with my brother and me. One divides, the other picks.

One thing we did with our son that our other friends and family never did- we not only had him think and contemplate what he wanted to be when he grows up, but also what kind of realistic lifestyle did he envision as an adult. We started that conversation in the 6th grade, and of course the choice of careers changed every year. But his lifestyle choice did remained constant. Different career and job choices were matched with most likely lifestyle scenarios, as far as finances, housing, spending, etc. And it stuck with him through his teenage years.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
From a very young age my answer has been to let one boy do the dividing, and the other boy choose which piece he wanted. Works every time.

The purpose of this thread is light hearted and useful tips that we dads and mom’s can share with each other.

Yup, was raised that way and raised our two that way. It gets them thinking about what the other would want. For a while, one would draw a line and ask the other if that looked fair. Sometimes yes, sometimes a suggestion for an adjustment, then the cut.

As far as advice, I have very little. All I can say is love them a lot and let them know you love them a lot. Expect a lot out of them and give them a lot of responsibility. If they come up short let them know that you know they can do better than that, and you expect more. Just don’t make them ever question whether you love them.

ETA: And this can sometimes be the hard part: Be the absolute best example you can. Kids hear what you say, but they see what you do. We’ve all heard, “Do what I say, not what I do.” but a good example goes a very long way.

Since you said it was light hearted, I'd suggest having a few tools around the house to avoid ridiculous ER visits for things like this.



https://www.foxnews.com/health...ler-toilet-seat-head

I have two little boys, age 2.5 and 4.5 and they are growing up quick.

One thing I'm learning and sometimes unfortunately it's my wife who is doing the reminding: "Put the damn phone down!"

They want to play and horse around with Daddy and in a few short years won't want to and here I am on my phone.

"Not every kid gets a trophy" is an important life lesson. But it's also true that every kid needs encouragement and support. You can still support your child with words of encouragement, pointing out things that were done well (as well as things that need some improvement). You can verbally recognize a good effort even in defeat. It's OK to be disappointed when you don't win. But you can express pride in your child's work and effort even in defeat, while at the same time pointing out that there will be successes and failures in life. My son was a coach of a soccer team. One father seemed to berate his son's short comings continuously. My son started taking the boy aside when the old man wasn't there, giving him some encouragement and advice and telling him he was proud of him when he could find something that he could honestly recognize as good. You could see the kid light up with a smile, and play more confidently after one of my son's talks. I guess it all comes down to this - don't be an asshole, especially to your own kids.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
With twin boys, everything comes down to 'what's fair'; especially when if comes to dividing food of some type into two.

From a very young age my answer has been to let one boy do the dividing, and the other boy choose which piece he wanted. Works every time.

There's actually a formal mathematical problem called "fair cake-cutting" which asks whether there is a way for any X number of people to cut a cake into slices and each take a portion such that no one would rather have somebody else's portion of cake.

The solution basically comes down to a general version of what you're talking about, with repeated rounds of one person making a cut and someone else making a choice.

Interestingly, although it's easy to make it work for two or three people, the first solution for an arbitrary number of people that doesn't require a potentially infinite number of rounds of cutting-and-choosing was only discovered in 2016, and most mathematicians assumed no solution existed.

https://www.quantamagazine.org...ng-problem-20161006/

Teach them to swim—as early as possible;

Read to them when they’re little—every day. I think it’s one of the most important things you can do to get your kids started down the path of learning;

Be a parent, not their friend;

Analogous to the previous one: set boundaries, and make them firm;

Love unconditionally.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
From a very young age my answer has been to let one boy do the dividing, and the other boy choose which piece he wanted.

This also the preferred method when splitting a bag of weed in HS! Not that I would know anything about that.

I constantly tell my boys (7 & 8, 14 months apart) about the value of money. They are in Cub Scouts. Last year they sold "camp cards" (discount cards for local shops) to pay for summer day camp. In the fall the Scouts sell popcorn for a fundraiser. I tell them we sell the popcorn to pay for the activities we do (Pinewood derby, Estes model rockets, etc...). We don't give them an allowance, but we pay them each $3 to clean the bathrooms when they want to buy something.

I constantly tell them that people expect to get paid for work they do. Nobody works for free. People work so they can buy things they want.

I think it's finally starting to set in. My retired neighbor volunteered to give my boys free piano lessons. The boys don't know she volunteered to do it for free. When I told them she was willing to give them lessons, the 7 YO said, "Oh, you must be paying her, cause no one works for free. How much are you paying her"? I told him yes, I am paying her, but you don't need to know how much. I'll take care of it. I was pleasantly surprised.

quote:

Originally posted by TMats:
Teach them to swim—as early as possible;

Read to them when they’re little—every day. I think it’s one of the most important things you can do to get your kids started down the path of learning;

Be a parent, not their friend;

Analogous to the previous one: set boundaries, and make them firm;

Love unconditionally.

Only item I would add, you can tell kids anything you want, but it is what they see you doing (how you are acting) that will be what they learn.

quote:

Originally posted by Southflorida-law:Only item I would add, you can tell kids anything you want, but it is what they see you doing (how you are acting) that will be what they learn.

I agree 100%. If they see you behaving with integrity, being honest, speaking respectfully to your spouse, etc, they will learn by example.

I am not a parent, but I was raised by parents so I know a little about the process.

I believe that it’s very important to teach children (and some adults, for that matter) that many people work for free—assuming that “free” means not getting paid money for it. I have performed countless hours of unpaid work, and even when doing it actually cost me money, and not just time and effort. The same is true of innumerable other people. I cannot imagine what a sad and sorry society we would live in if everyone demanded to be paid for every bit of “work” they perform for others.

It’s also important to not tell and teach children things they will later discover for themselves to be false. It may be impossible to avoid doing that entirely, especially the inadvertent ones, but 60+ years after the fact I still recall how my trust and respect for my father was affected by my such discoveries.