"You can't fix stupid" ~ Ron White

Regarding marrying a woman taller than you - “when you’re nose to nose your toes is in it, and when you’re toes to toes your nose is in it.

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever,

Can't never did do nothing,

Starts Right Stays Right, Starts wrong Stays Wrong,

If the dog hadn't stopped to take a crap he would have caught the rabbit

Man's got to know his limitations

Losers whine about doing their best.
Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

Never wrassle with a pig. You get covered in shit and the pig likes it.

Put another way: Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Momma said never speak bad of the dead. He's dead. Good.

quote:

Originally posted by Dzozer:
The bigger you are, the harder you fall...

The bigger you are the harder you hit.

Time and distance are consumables when driving; don't run out of either.

“You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.”
― Al Capone.

From my old man:
"If it aint one damn thing, its another"!

Piss poor planning on your part does not make it a emergency on my part. ............................. drill sgt.

quote:

Originally posted by drill sgt:
Piss poor planning on your part does not make it a emergency on my part. ............................. drill sgt.

A corollary to that fine old military adage "Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance".

Many hands make light work. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

A stitch in time saves nine. Haste makes waste.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. The nail that sticks out gets pounded down.

The devil is in the details. Don't sweat the small stuff.

If you cannot say something nice, say nothing. Honesty is the best policy.

Look before you leap. Strike while the iron is hot.

Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.

If your Aunt had balls she'd be your Uncle...

Never mess with an old man.

"If there is only one piece of advice you ever listen to in your entire life, let it be this: Never, ever mess with an old person. You will regret it. Old people may appear fragile and helpless, but this is just a façade for their true nature, which has been honed to perfection over many generations. They are truly a wolf in sheep’s clothing."

Measure twice cut once.
One that I repeat to myself often.

One more from Ed Abbey.

“There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California.”

BTW, Abbey has been dead for 33 years.

The guilty dog barks first.

Nine women can't make a baby in a month

There's right and wrong and everything else is you trying to justify it

You can't dig your way out of a hole