"Klonsky's Shoe Repair

Ira Kaplan hadn't returned to the old neighborhood since he went off to fight in Vietnam. During a business trip to New York he visited his old neighborhood on 170th street in the Bronx, noting that everything has changed over the years.

Where once there was Edelstein’s Delicatessen, there was now a McDonald’s; where Fleischman’s Dry Cleaning (One-Hour Martinizing) used to be, a Korean nail salon and spa now was; where Ginsberg’s Department Store was, there was now a Gap.

Nothing was the same, except for the narrow storefront of Klonsky’s Shoe Repair, which, dimly lit as ever, was still in business.

As Kaplan passed the shop, he recalled (such are the quirks of memory that he does not know how) that just before he was drafted to go off to Vietnam, he had left a pair of shoes with Mr. Klonsky that he never bothered to pick up. Could they, he wondered, possibly still be there?

A small bell tinkled as he entered the dark shop. Mr. Klonsky, who seemed old 40 years ago, shuffled out from the back. He was hunched over, wearing a leather apron, one eye all but closed.

“Excuse me, Mr. Klonsky,” Kaplan said, “but I used to live in this neighborhood, and 40 years ago I left a pair of shoes with you for repair that I never picked up. Is there any chance you might still have them?”

Klonsky starred at him and, in his strong Eastern European accent, asked, “Vas dey black vingtips?” “They were indeed,” Kaplan only now recalled. “And you vanted a halv sole, mit rubber heels?” “Yes,” Kaplan relied, “that’s exactly what I wanted.” “And you vanted taps on the heels only?” “Yes, yes,” said Kaplan, “amazing! Do you still have them?”

Mr. Klonsky looked up at him, his good eye asquint, and announced, “Dey’ll be ready Vendsday."

Funny indeed!

Thanks for that. Loved it. Means something these days too.

I saw Gabe Kaplan tell that joke on The Tonight Show. I guess Ira Kaplan is an uncle or a fictitious character of his.

I've told that joke from time to time over the years. Most times, no one laughs. Go figure

The joke kinda parallels the true story about Anson Mount II, one of the original writers for Playboy Magazine. Anson was raised in a small town in Tennessee before branching out into the Big World. After many years of living the big life, he returned on a visit to the little town and pulled up to the local gas station (at that time, still full-service.)

The owner-operator, also a long-time resident, filled up his tank and casually asked, "Anson, will that be cash or charge?" (Who would have thought you could have a charge account at a gas station?)

Apparently, Anson II was impressed that his old childhood town had not changed much over the years. He ended up moving his family to that little town upon his retirement and raised his son, Anson Mount III in that same little Tennessee town. Time doesn't stand still even in small Southern towns, but sometimes it moves so slowly that appears it just might!

If I ever get around to writing a book about that town, I will expound of Anson II's childhood as he was growing up! (It ain't X rated, but might get a PG 13.

Please name the small Tennessee town so I can retire there.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
I've told that joke from time to time over the years. Most times, no one laughs. Go figure

You gotta work on that accent, boychick.

Reminds me of a joke Ronald Regan once told about a man, Yuri, living in the Soviet Union. Yuri needed some electrical work done in his apartment, so he called an electrician who told him he had an opening two years from Tuesday. Will you be coming in the morning or the evening, Yuri asked? What does it matter, the electrician asked? It's two years away! Well, replied Yuri, I have the plumber coming that morning!