The other thing you’ll have to watch out for is friends and cousins devices that aren’t locked down. Ask me how I know.

I'll throw this in there as a non-parent, but a teacher who spends most of his time surrounded by teenage girls. In my daily life, I get to see girls from K-12 and you can very, very clearly see the effects of electronics use, but especially social media, as soon as they get phones, probably starting around 6th or 7th grade. It is very clear which kids are restricted in their use of electronics by their parents.

The danger of technology is NOT that they're going to encounter a predator or get kidnapped or similar. The danger is that social media will affect them socially, emotionally and even physiologically.

Their brain chemistry will change, their sleeping habits will be ruined, they'll develop mental health issues directly connected to social media use, body dysmorphia is increasingly common issue with girls, to say nothing of cyberbullying. I could go on for hours.

Text/chat is reasonable, for the most part, but most any app is deleterious and you should note that most of those social media apps are directly targeted at teenage girls.

Also, good luck keeping up. As many others have said, the idea of "protections" are so woefully far behind it's not funny. It's almost impossible to keep up with the latest social media fad killing your kids' brains unless you're immersed in the culture of teenagers.

quote:

Originally posted by Oat_Action_Man:
It's almost impossible to keep up with the latest social media fad killing your kids' brains unless you're immersed in the culture of teenagers.

It's worse than that. The very design of so-called "social" media is to suck you in, keep you in, and, in effect, degrade your ability to think deeply.

I tend to shrug off dire warnings of this, that, or the other thing, but, I was so impressed with what I read about "social" media I took to purposely limiting my own already-limited use even further.

I have one "social" media account: Twitter. I use only the web interface, only on my computer, and check my Twitter feed two-or three-times/day, at most, spending no more than perhaps fifteen or twenty minutes at a time, at most.

I have to disagree with most of the replies here. What generation grew up with their parents not disapproving of the books they read, the music they listened to, the television programs they watched. At 9, definitely their content must be screened/monitored, but deprived of? I was told not to listen to that satanic Ozzy and Iron Maiden as well. Even at 13 I knew that was a load of crap. So I copied my friends tapes and labeled it Journey or Billy Joel and listened to it anyway. I tried to get my hands on a playboy any chance I could also. Now I have weekly discussions with my fine friends at SF. I just don’t believe that their social media content is going to make them grow up to be bad people or have lifestyle/political choices that their parents abhor. I can agree with the responses that the best thing for young impressionable minds is to be an involved engaged parent. The children will grow up right. I’m sorry my post doesn’t directly address the OP’s question.

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Your point is well taken. There is absolutely no substiute for parental involvement. Involving your children is sports or other after school activites helps tremendously. Communicating your values on a daily basis is essential. Besides social media gets very boring after a while. BTW adolesence does not start at nine.

Thank you for all your thoughts and information. This won't be easy. I am happy that she is taking art lessons weekly, trying ice skating, is waiting for gymnastics to start. She is in the fitness club once a week before school. And she is training and competing in AKC scentwork (recreational scent detection dog sport).

I mention that to remind myself what we are trying to offer her, and why. Still, so much to try to protect her from, if that's the right word.

quote:

Originally posted by 400m:
I have to disagree with most of the replies here. What generation grew up with their parents not disapproving of the books they read, the music they listened to, the television programs they watched. At 9, definitely their content must be screened/monitored, but deprived of? I was told not to listen to that satanic Ozzy and Iron Maiden as well. Even at 13 I knew that was a load of crap. So I copied my friends tapes and labeled it Journey or Billy Joel and listened to it anyway. I tried to get my hands on a playboy any chance I could also. Now I have weekly discussions with my fine friends at SF. I just don’t believe that their social media content is going to make them grow up to be bad people or have lifestyle/political choices that their parents abhor. I can agree with the responses that the best thing for young impressionable minds is to be an involved engaged parent. The children will grow up right. I’m sorry my post doesn’t directly address the OP’s question.

This, in spades. Set realistic boundaries, with the expectation that they will be pushed at least a little bit. Don't put your head in the sand & think your little angel will always be that little angel. I'd have to be a huge hypocrite to expect my kid not to do some of things I've done.
A good quote I think read here is applicable - Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement. Also, be good or be good at it & don't get caught is good advice. My 5yo learns a whole lot more from my explanation of why I said 'I wouldn't do that' after he did that and the pain subsides.

Cyber-specific ideas:
Separate wifi network (virtual networks available in most routers) that shuts off at night.
I would guess that you can limit cellular data by time, but I've never looked.
Otherwise, keep devices out of bedrooms at night.
There are lots of ways to log & limit what content is being used/accessed, but I would do that quietly & expose use as a last resort. If you know you are being watched, you will work harder to hide everything you do. I would try to do that centrally, rather than per device, but with wifi+cellular, that is difficult.

^^^. I’d suggest it’s more like the following:

“You can never fully childproof your guns, but you certainly can gun-proof your children.”

quote:

Originally posted by SIGnified:
^^^. I’d suggest it’s more like the following:

“You can never fully childproof your guns, but you certainly can gun-proof your children.”

When I was 5, I REALLY wanted to shoot my Dad's 12ga. He "helped" & got the butt pad ON my cheek, rather than my cheek on the stock. Between getting punched in the head & seeing the aftermath of a watermelon hit by birdshot at about 5yds, I have a healthy respect for the power of guns. It's still a vivid memory 35 years later.

quote:

Originally posted by SIGnified:
^^^. I’d suggest it’s more like the following:

“You can never fully childproof your guns, but you certainly can gun-proof your children.”

I can appreciate the sentiment, but respectfully, I feel it's a poor analogy in this case. Guns are inanimate, and when handled correctly, are safe.

The "wall of sound and images", driven by advanced A.I. which were designed by well-funded geniuses to specifically affect behavior, measure effect, adapt and retry,.. that is a very different animal altogether. That's not a gun. That's a war.

quote:

Originally posted by r0gue:

quote:

Originally posted by SIGnified:
^^^. I’d suggest it’s more like the following:

“You can never fully childproof your guns, but you certainly can gun-proof your children.”

I can appreciate the sentiment, but respectfully, I feel it's a poor analogy in this case. Guns are inanimate, and when handled correctly, are safe.

The "wall of sound and images", driven by advanced A.I. which were designed by well-funded geniuses to specifically affect behavior, measure effect, adapt and retry,.. that is a very different animal altogether. That's not a gun. That's a war.

Agreed.
Likening it to music or books parents disagreed with in the 70's or 80's is not a good analogy. More like letting a adolescent into a gambling casino and with pornography and an army of people brainwashing them into every bad ideology and pro drug mindset imaginable.