Hello,

We have a 9 year old niece, whom we have a good deal of responsibility for. I know enough to be worried about the internet/social media. But I am not active on it and not very savvy about these things.

She has access to an i-pad, but currently does not have a phone.

Wondering if any of the knowledgeable members might have some suggestions

Thank you in advance

There are parental controls available. Better yet have her show you where she spends her time. I would make Tik Tok off limits. They often like to play kid games and interact with their friends. I think it is most important to monitor them and also limit the amount of time they spend on the internet.

Let me tell you what I wish I knew when. If I could go back in time, there is NO WAY IN HELL, I would let my children touch that tech with a ten foot pole. I am a leader in technology at work, and a father of four. It starts with learning games and it turns into social medial accounts for young impressionable teens.

The parental controls available now are outdated horseshit that scarcely manages URL based control for porn,.. the scourge of twenty years ago. The danger now is the left is using AI and social media to program the next generation of biologic robots.

Get them games that aren't online. Get them books. Get them movies on disc that you can filter for appropriateness. And be strong in the face of, "all the other kids have them."

You will not win if you put them to sea in that craft. Watch The Social Dillema and take it from the people that coded those websites. Those that made the web we now live in.

I'm a non-parent, and I agree with r0gue entirely. A man I know and greatly respect told me 15 years or so ago that keeping ahead of his kids' technology was a full-time job.

Years ago I dated a lady with two young kids and we talked some about this sort of thing. The plan was to buy cartoon DVDs (Flintstones, Jetsons, etc.) and things like that, to avoid the craziness of "kids' TV," even back then. The term "digital wasteland" comes to mind.

Or, talk to them about the dangers of the interwebs, help them understand everyone doesn't have their best interests in mind.

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At 9 years old, you or your spouse should sit with her while she is online.

This will help you get up to speed on the problems.

Rule of thumb...Anyone you meet online is not the person they tell you they are in real-life.

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quote:

Originally posted by BigSwede:
Or, talk to them about the dangers of the interwebs, help them understand everyone doesn't have their best interests in mind.

That's newer thinking than the web filtering I mentioned, but still a notch behind "everything they encounter" is designed to manipulate their minds" and use them as a tool to an end that at best, is designed to make money, and at worst...

At 9 years old, just keep her offline. We're WAY beyond stranger danger my friends. The web modern is very dangerous for adult minds, and kids are putty in their hands.

r0gue is entirely correct in everything he says, and is not exaggerating in the slightest.

Fairly certain Silicon Valley, for the most part, prohibits children of employees to use a screen before 13.

Not sure where they came up with that age, but I can’t see why any minor should have access to it.

Maybe something could be very locked down, to only whitelisted sites, if it’s a school requirement.

I appreciate all you your insights, and will be taking what r0gue has said very seriously

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:
r0gue is entirely correct in everything he says, and is not exaggerating in the slightest.

As they said in Catch Me If You Can - movie "I concur".

Even though all my professional life has been technology like these guys ^^ too, I am soooo glad it was not available and made me a slave to it (mostly video games, texting).

The kids will be better off spending time outside playing sports or whatever.
Sadly, I hardly see any kids out playing, riding bikes, etc.
I imagine technology plays a role but uncertain to what degree.

I also imagine keeping them away would be hard due to peer issues.

One rule of ours is no smart phones until they're 14. Any online stuff takes place on mom's computer in the hallway. Nothing in the bedrooms.

We taught our daughter safe online behavior early and with the understanding, we can take her phone at any time and check her posts, friend lists, DM's, etc. She's now in HS and I can say, it worked just fine. But, and it's a big but...she is very much left of center on most things and I asked her where she learned all that and it was "on Instagram...."

So, yes, the left is shaping the next generation through influencers, content, etc. Not sure how you combat that except early conversations about values you hold and how you hope your kid(s) appreciate them.

quote:

Originally posted by PGT:
...she is very much left of center on most things and I asked her where she learned all that and it was "on Instagram...."

So, yes, the left is shaping the next generation through influencers, content, etc. Not sure how you combat that ...

The A.I. driven platforms have subjected them to thousands of hours of overt, and subliminal messaging. Funny things poke fun at just the right things. Everyone they see agrees with left politics except the ignorant hateful white people. I cannot explain it in an internet post without grossly oversimplifying it. Hell, I don't even understand it all that deeply myself. It's incredibly sophisticated. And it works.

All of my kids lean left, I'm sure. I learned far too late. Thus I say to those who are not yet too late. There is NO safe level of exposure, at any age. Humans are not set up to combat this influence. I would never have given my kid a smartphone or tablet at all, if I could go back. Never.

I suspect most of us believe that the elite do not believe what we believe. I suspect most of us believe these platforms are purpose built to monetize human behavior. Why would we not believe they would aim this weapon at us?

My kids had ready access to the internet and smartphones. Both very right of center. They were involved with Sports all their lives, parents who were involved with them and frankly spent limited time on social media. If you spend time with your kids they develop the same values that you do, with some variations.

If y'all want to understand just how truly bad, how literally evil it is, read Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention--and How To Think Deeply Again by Johann Hart.

Warning: At times the author goes way off the reservation. He's obviously pretty hard left.

The author interviews people who worked and work for Google, Facebook and the like. Some of the things to which they admit, some of your worst fears and suspicions, are quite eye-opening. However bad you think these companies are: Trust me, they're far worse than your worst expectations.

No parent that read that book and truly cared about their children would ever let them ever go anywhere near "social" media.

It's a freaking nightmare line to walk. On one side you risk your kid being a social outcast if you don't let them have it - on the other hand they'll be exposed to all sorts of garbage when you do.

You can try to impress upon them how things are bad etc, but they're kids - they don't care. We took our daughters phone away for a couple months (14) due to inappropriate behavior/communication with her 'friends'. Kids don't actually talk in person anymore - they're constantly on their phones even when they're sitting right next to each other. She was literally shunned because she didn't have her phone.

We tried locking her phone down with parental controls (apple) - she found loopholes in that.
She couldn't initiate comm, but if her friends called or texted her - even if they were 'blocked' they could still communicate.

Her mom got on tiktok and started following her around on there and that made it uncool enough where she didn't want to do that anymore at least. I'm sure she's moved onto something even worse. TikTok is absolute trash.

My youngest, who will turn 27 in a couple of days explains it like this… “Dad, we were the first generation to have unlimited access to everything, including pornography, and drugs. I don’t think you can possibly imagine the impact.”

100% w R0gue

again, thank you all for your thoughts and insights. We appreciate your replies. It won't be easy...

I too strongly agree with rogue.
Had I known then what I know now any smart device would have been forbidden and treated as hard core pornogrwphy. And for any of you who have tictock or your kids do, delete it immediately.
https://youtu.be/t7STD2ESmWg