We are trying to adopt a child from a local girl, it's all happening very quickly. For the social worker visit what should we expect? What kind of questions? I hear they can be rather intimate questions.

This is all very sudden and expensive! We had given up on the whole thing and all of a sudden a neighbor says I know a girl who is due shortly and wants to find a good couple are you interested? Since she is far along its all rather fast, lots of fees to come up with and social work stuff.

We did that a few decades ago and my wife was very worried. She was polishing the tops of cans in the pantry, etc.
When the girl came by she looked around and told don't worry, that she sees all kind horror stories and we'd sail through.
Just look like you are a stable, clean and you'll be ok.

As I remember from 27 yrs ago the home visit was no big deal. They look for safety issues and such. The girl that was trying to figure out if we were qualified to adopt a baby girl had never been married, never had kids and was fresh out of college. We already had a 15yr old daughter and they asked her stupid questions like " being an only child how do you think you are going to feel with a sibling in the house", nothing about "how are your mom and dad doing at parenting.

Be careful. I hope you have an attorney that is accomplished in this area. If you are arranging a private adoption it can be a minefield.

Social workers come in all flavors. Be honest but do not offer lots of extra information. I probably would not open carry during the interview.

make sure all your smoke detectors are working and to code.

In fact, make sure things like balcony and stair railings etc are to code. If you have an old house, you may have some updating to do.

they may ask about guns depending on your state. Easiest thing is to say they are all locked up.

A home that is too clean and in order may be cause some conversation, because they may wonder how you will handle the natural chaos of a child. They just want to see that the home is a good setting for a child, and nothing more. They want to make sure all adults who live in the house are accounted for and that there aren't extra adults in the house who were not listed in the application. They want to see the child has a room or place to sleep, etc.

there was a member here from the Seattle area whose wife had in depth knowledge about adoptions. dang if I could remember who he is. Signified I think.

I did a number of adoption studies circa 1970 for a state agency.

Besides evaluating social/medical/potential psychiatric issues, we had to complete a lengthy outline that included financial statement, personal/religious/professional references; health history of family members; employment history etc.

Such minor details as what type of photographs/books/housekeeping standards, how potential parents/other family members interacted, household stability factors, were part of the list.

The biggest essential was how did the baby/potential parents seem to fit with each other.

While operating within federal and state regulations, at that time 'private agencies' had their own list to complete.

Lots of variables including experience/competence of the adoption worker; mostly if you are anywhere 'normal' be ready to increase your family size.

ETA: if this is 'private' adoption, make sure your own attorney is experienced in completing the legal details, as these sometimes are discovered years later to be in some basic deficiency, leading to Big (and often expensive) Legal Issues that can be avoided with proper counsel at the beginning.

Yes. Be very careful. We tried the private scenario, and were quite excited. It went well for about the 7th month when the gal all of a sudden decided since we wanted it so bad, she would keep it. That was devastating news to say the least. Even calls from an attorney wouldn't make her budge.

So instead we went through foreign adoptions and got 2 excellent Korean children, one of each, aged 3 and 5 months each, four years apart. You couldn't ask for better children. My friends, (several couples) couldn't do the foreign thing because of the appearance of the adoptees so they went with American children. That was a huge minefield, rife with druggie mothers, abuse and undisclosed severe illnesses and other conditions. American children at the time suffered from parental drug use and physical abuse, while foreign children were mostly abandoned or ill or had physical disabilities.

We went with Bethany Social Services who have been doing this world wide for decades. Catholic Social Services is a good agency, and will accept non-Catholic folks. The agencies are good at filtering out potential problems, but you must be careful. Email me for phone numbers if you want to discuss. BY the way, the home visit was a piece of cake. Just clean up a little so they can walk around and see the environment the child will grow up in.

My brother fosters kids that the State had taken. Guns and knives locked up. I remember ten years ago his gun cabinet was a simple cabinet with a glass door, but it had a lock. His house is baby proofed, but I am not sure if that was a prerequisite. Like I said he has been doing this awhile. Oh just remembered another thing. Cleaning chemicals. They couldn't bff accessed by a child. You will have to have enough bedrooms, but it sounds like that ain't an issue in your situation.

Lord Vaalic, A good friend of mine adopted two children. A very Liberal local social worker visited his home to evaluate him, his wife,their home,etc. on both occasions. Since this a firearms enthusiast site, I'll mention that one aspect of his life she questioned him about was ownership of firearms. She asked if he had any guns. When he answered in the affirmative. She interrogated him as to why he owned guns, where they were kept,etc. Keep in mind, whatever their official title, this will be a social worker evaluating you, your spouse, your home, your life, etc. and be prepared. I have interacted with social workers many times during my working life. I did not get the impression that any I met were ardent 2A supporters. Of course, you could tell the social worker about the boating accident

I have served as an ad litem in adoptions, meaning my job was to represent the child's interest to the court. This involved home visits. I would do one or two scheduled visits and one or two surprise visits. (It depends on how long the process took.) I check for basic cleanliness, appropriate food, safety, appropriate living space - basic things. I would expect to not be denied access to anything I ask to see.

I'd question the prospective parents. There was no particular agenda or script, but I'd let the circumstances guide me and follow up. What are the plans for care, day care, who works and when, employment history, some about health, extended family relationships, possible addictions, family history (although I did independent checks of that stuff, too). I'm not looking be sure anyone is a Rockefeller, but I want to know something about economic stability.

Tell the truth. Repeat, tell the truth. If they figure out there is one lie (and they probably will), your credibility on everything goes to zero.

If there is a problem, for example a youthful DWI, talk about it and explain why it isn't a problem any more. Don't conceal problems.

I'd interview the child, also, if that makes sense. One I did was a step parent adoption, so the ten year-old child had been living with bio-mom and step-dad for many years. I interviewed the family together and all separately.

Don't fret too much. If you are regular, decent people without any skeletons, you'll be fine.

Congratulations. I am in the family courts of a big, urban county weekly. There is a lot of bad stuff coming before those courts, and the lawyers can be pretty blase about stuff that would turn your hair white. But when an adoption hearing come up, everyone stops and pays attention. It is so sweet and touching. Cheers to you.

Make sure you house is clean and orderly and set up to be safe for a child. they really look at this kind of stuff hard.

Don't be surprised to hear questions about lead paint and guns too.

quote:

Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
This is all very sudden and expensive! ...lots of fees to come up with and social work stuff.

This will be the least of your issues.

Many fees are tax deductable. If this were a "Dependant/Ward of the Court" adoption, there used to be $50k in tax credits available

I wouldn't worry about the social worker visit too much...as posted above, "tell the truth"...they are mostly interested in the home being "Safe"

I've known and worked with several workers in this field and they've all been pretty accommodating...as long as you don't lie to them.

quote:

Originally posted by greco:
We went with Bethany Social Services who have been doing this world wide for decades.

They are excellent

Relax, tell the truth and make sure the house is clean. Secure weapons, poisonous/hazardous items etc. They will let you know what else to do. They had very specific fire/safety requirements...but I'm sure the requirements vary a great deal depending on where you are etc. Good luck!