One of my coworkers has a daughter who has the same issue. Dad didn’t he want her to go away to school. Mom thought she should spread her wings. During her second year of school, the RA found her unresponsive in the shower. She took a handful of pills....she survived and has moved home, taking classes part time, and works part time as a cashier at a grocery store. She was institutionalized for a time by her doctor. She goes to therapy twice a week and seems better. The structure of work and support of parents saved her life.
The worst part is both parents blamed themselves depression is a bitch.

Clinical psychologists treat this disorder frequently. It is important to have a professional correctly diagnose the problem. It can be treated effectively with psychotherapy. Sadly, many universities do not have psychologists on staff to treat these issues. This is rather amazing considering this age has a very high incidence of mental health issues.

quote:

Originally posted by bigdeal:
Now the condition appears to have taken him to a very dark place, and he's thinking thoughts no one wants him to be thinking.

I'm not sure what the parents are waiting for. This person needs to be evaluated immediately.

Hopefully no update means they are taking some action. I've personally seen this almost exact fact set twice; one was actual clinically depressed but has been able to get on with her life after some intervention and help from family and pros, the other was designer drugs/alcohol/dependency. Both would have ended very badly had the person not eventually gotten professional help. Help that they were unwilling or unable to initiate on their own in the position they found themselves.

The suggestions to buck it up and get on with life would work for those of us without these underlying conditions. Unfortunately if those or similar conditions exist you might just as well give up as think that advice will make any change. Differentiating between the two is the hard part, impossible from afar and unfortunately you don't get a do-over if you guess wrong.

quote:

Originally posted by tleddy:

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Mental health professional, since it sounds to be so serious and so persistent.

THIS, And soon!

IMMEDIATELY.

Thanks for all the feedback and suggestions. A couple clarifications. The parents are not in denial over this. This behavior is a relatively new occurrence, and they are scrambling (like all good parents) to educate themselves so they can try and figure out how best to approach the situation. They've stayed in continual contact with their son over the past week or so, and from the feedback I got from them last night, he appears to be doing better. Their son doesn't want to come home because he views that as something that would be an enormous failure on his part. The parents have made a bargain with him that if he is to stay at school, he 'must' start working with a local professional (they're researching options now). Any refusal to participate in this plan will result in them bringing him home. So far he's apparently agreed to the terms. They hope to get him in for his first session next week. My wife and I will keep them in our thoughts and prayers and hope for a good outcome.

College isn't for everyone, regardless of their ability to perform academically, the social pressures are significant as well, some thrive, some don't, most are in the middle of these extremes.

A break might be good for him, if he's in CFL then bring him home to do some class work at Seminole State, take a break from the competitive life and living away on campus, even a single semester at Seminole might help him as he'd be out of the campus social life since Seminole isn't that type of university.

I'm presuming hes a freshman or sophmore, a large part of freshmen fail, flunk, get arrested or drop out of universities, and going to a school like SS helps kids get acclimated to university class responsibilities without the pressure of first year college life.

Good luck, I'd suggest he come home, get straight, not see it as a failure but as a reset take some local classes and focus on his
future.

quote:

Originally posted by bigdeal:
They've stayed in continual contact with their son over the past week or so, and from the feedback I got from them last night, he appears to be doing better. Their son doesn't want to come home because he views that as something that would be an enormous failure on his part.

Encourage them to not let small improvements derail any requirement for professional therapy.

Professional assistance is an absolute must in cases where there has been ANY indication of suicidal thoughts or evidence of social isolation.

quote:

Their son doesn't want to come home because he views that as something that would be an enormous failure on his part. The parents have made a bargain with him that if he is to stay at school, he 'must' start working with a local professional (they're researching options now). Any refusal to participate in this plan will result in them bringing him home. So far he's apparently agreed to the terms.

This behavior as well may well be one of two things; sincere or a delaying tactic.

Hopefully they'll see him get help and improve, but it is incredibly optimistic to hope that he will do this on his own in a remote environment. If they don't, or see continued deferral they will have to accept that they are in fact in denial and have to change tactics if they want to help him salvage himself. Diligence and clear-eyed assessment is the parents' charge right now, IMHO.

Professional help now, then a motorcycle (I'm serious).

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Mental health professional, since it sounds to be so serious and so persistent.

Definitely sounds like he needs a straight jacket and a bunch of drugs.
Upon completion of the program > a participation trophy.

Seriously, get him into a facility.