A friend's college age son suffers from what I think can be defined as severe/debilitating social anxiety. He basically hides in his room when not in class and has made virtually no friends at all in the two years he's been at school. Now the condition appears to have taken him to a very dark place, and he's thinking thoughts no one wants him to be thinking. His parents are terrified for his future, and my wife and I are concerned given the time he spent at our home with our son growing up. Deep down I really think he's a good kid who's suffering with something he doesn't know how to break out of.

Anyone dealt with this condition successfully or know of someone who has? Any input, direction, or help would be greatly appreciated. We'd all like to help this kid break out of this but are at a loss to know what to do.

Mental health professional, since it sounds to be so serious and so persistent.

I'm no expert, but I think in this case getting him home from college is a good start. Missing a semester or two is a small price to pay for getting him home and safe. They can start to get him help from there, but at least he will be home surrounded by support and love and that's got to be better than sitting away in a dorm alone.

I have a cousin that is the same way and was diagnosed with autism.

Xanax and a beer. If that doesn’t work for a college age kid it’s probably some kind of depression, and or personality disorder. I know that sounds callous and very un pc but at his age it’s probably true.

The other side of the coin, is to stop paying all of his bills and force him to get a job that he has to be social in, and has a purpose. Finding a mental health professional is also a good idea.

It sounds to me like he's on drugs.

I think the first two / three advice is good.

If the parents are really concerned, I think it's warranted for them to go and pick him up. They don't want to risk the worst.

Moving to college is very stressful.

The boy should not be kept at school. Might get decent mental health care there, but you can't count on it.
This time of life is crucial--kids can get totally screwed up and never recover during this transition from adolescence to adulthood.
True social anxiety is treatable with therapy and medications, and treatment can make a huge difference in one's success or failure in life.
I've had close family members who destroyed their lives by not getting this properly treated; so my perspective is not just as a physician but as a family member of those who suffered from this disabling but treatable condition.

A local community college while living at home would be vastly better for both the short and long run than what is happening now.

Ok, I talked to my wife. She is a LCSW certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She said my earlier idea would probably tell you it’s not Social anxiety. She says he sounds to be in a severe deprsssive state and needs an intervention. What caused it, no telling but he sounds to her, far beyond social anxiety.

The school should have mental health counseling available. If not he needs to see a professional really quick. It doesn’t sound good, but if he is still going to class, he is still hanging in.

Disclaimer: my wife doesn’t diagnose mental illness, she treats it as a therapist. But she has seen a lot to be able to have a general opinion.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Mental health professional, since it sounds to be so serious and so persistent.

THIS, And soon!

He needs a girlfriend, and to get laid. Many school shooters are just this type. They look at pretty girls and see them with absolute doofus boyfriends, and they get jealous and vengeful. A lot of these kids don't know how to open up and start new relationships, so they can latch out with dangerous behavior.

quote:

Originally posted by sjtill:
The boy should not be kept at school. Might get decent mental health care there, but you can't count on it.
This time of life is crucial--kids can get totally screwed up and never recover during this transition from adolescence to adulthood.
True social anxiety is treatable with therapy and medications, and treatment can make a huge difference in one's success or failure in life.
I've had close family members who destroyed their lives by not getting this properly treated; so my perspective is not just as a physician but as a family member of those who suffered from this disabling but treatable condition.

A local community college while living at home would be vastly better for both the short and long run than what is happening now.

This sounds like really good advice. His condition really needs to be diagnosed as a starting point.

Certainly needs to talk to a professional. Whether he wants to or not.

Preferably his folks can get him to want to, and can be included in the treatment plan.

Yes to most of the above, to many suicides in the news, and local.

I’d be steering towards professional help.

Err on the side of caution and urgency. Professional help immediately.

My son suffered from depression to where it was truly debilitating. Scared the hell out of the wife and I. Professional help was required. My guess is your friends son requires the same. My son's therapist was big on no drugs but instead an advocate of up front and truthful discussion of the problems her patient was experiencing. It worked but YMMV. Something about logically confronting the issues really seemed to work. It did take a while to be effective. I'm sending good thoughts to your friend, his wife, and sons way. Dealing with mental health issues in a child is absolutely zero fun.

Shrink and counselor, stat. May be social anxiety, but also smacks of major depression. Your post also implies suicidal ideation and that requires professional assessment and intervention immediately.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Aquilon, February 04, 2018 09:40 AM

GET HELP NOW!!!

What the hell are they waiting for, a call that says he’s been found dead, done something terrible, etc?

The kid has a really serious problem, the parents are in denial.

quote:

Originally posted by bubbatime:
He needs a girlfriend, and to get laid. Many school shooters are just this type. They look at pretty girls and see them with absolute doofus boyfriends, and they get jealous and vengeful. A lot of these kids don't know how to open up and start new relationships, so they can latch out with dangerous behavior.

While I agree that this is often the case (lack of social and romantic contact), I don't see it as a solution.

Because when the GF inevitably breaks up with the kid, they go bonkers like they were the only girl for them.

I think get him in to see a pro ASAP. as others have said, these days you can't be too safe.