I know it's a touchy subject, the riders vs non-riders, but I couldn't resist, this is hilarious

https://www.theonion.com/study...uying-car-1820403123

Study: 90% Of Bike Accidents Preventable By Buying Car Like A Normal Person

WASHINGTON—Saying it was a simple but effective measure to reduce potentially deadly incidents, a study published Monday by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration found that 90 percent of bike accidents could be prevented by buying a car like a normal person. “Our data confirm that the vast majority of cyclist injuries can be avoided simply by driving an automobile instead of biking around like some weirdo,” said lead researcher Dr. Laura Gafferty, adding that while bicycle riding was perfectly acceptable for children under 12, it was not recommended for any actual grown-up who wasn’t competing in the Tour de France or similar event where it wasn’t completely ridiculous.

“Regular people drive cars because it’s the normal and not the abnormal thing to do. If every cyclist purchased and operated a car like you’re supposed to as an adult, bike fatalities would drop an estimated 40 percent within six months alone.” Gafferty went on to say that people who biked for exercise should consider driving to a gym and using a stationary bike facing a wall of televisions like everyone else.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
LOUD PIPES SAVE LIVES

How else can a older grown man wear leather tassles and pretend they are in a “gang” like back in grade school???

I've had a hard day and needed a good laugh...Thanks!

I also heard that marriage was the leading cause of divorce!

Ok. That's pretty funny.

I have 3 cars and 3 bicycles so I'm good.

Let's Ride.

AIR, the NHTSB is a gubbermint agency.

I wonder how much of OUR money they blew on that asinine "study".

And all automobile, motorcycle, bicycle accidents could be prevented by doing away with those, too.

Every time I think I have seen the most asinine gubbermint "finding" they come up with a new one, more asinine than any other.

have to say, tho, that the Mrs. and I got a good chuckle out of that "Study".

quote:

Originally posted by Elk Hunter:
AIR, the NHTSB is a gubbermint agency.

I wonder how much of OUR money they blew on that asinine "study".

And all automobile, motorcycle, bicycle accidents could be prevented by doing away with those, too.

Every time I think I have seen the most asinine gubbermint "finding" they come up with a new one, more asinine than any other.

have to say, tho, that the Mrs. and I got a good chuckle out of that "Study".

Elk, The Onion is a satirical news site - they make up articles. None of this actually happened...

quote:

Originally posted by reloader-1:

quote:

Originally posted by Elk Hunter:
AIR, the NHTSB is a gubbermint agency.

I wonder how much of OUR money they blew on that asinine "study".

And all automobile, motorcycle, bicycle accidents could be prevented by doing away with those, too.

Every time I think I have seen the most asinine gubbermint "finding" they come up with a new one, more asinine than any other.

have to say, tho, that the Mrs. and I got a good chuckle out of that "Study".

Elk, The Onion is a satirical news site - they make up articles. None of this actually happened...

This is fake news, I don't think the .gov could figure this out.

Wearing something white and/or reflective and putting headlights and taillights on the bikes would help at night, too. I can't tell you how many idiot bicyclists I've run across (almost) at night who were dressed all in black and without any lights on their bikes at all.

I did see one tonight who had an actual bright headlight and a blinking red taillight on his bike. Apparently there are a few cyclists who have brains.

flashguy

Gafferty went on to say that people who biked for exercise should consider driving to a gym and using a stationary bike facing a wall of televisions like everyone else.

Spoken for truth.

Gotta love the bicyclists that scream “asshole” at me while they’re running a stop sign while I’m turning onto the street they’re illegally crossing. Yes, that’s right, I AM the asshole. Not you, douchebag.

Right up there with the ones who want to use traffic lanes until they aren’t convenient, and suddenly start passing all the vehicles patiently waiting for the stoplight to change, use the crosswalk like a pedestrian, then expect not to get hit while they’re playing the odds.

quote:

Originally posted by 1967Goat:
I also heard that marriage was the leading cause of divorce!

Well you've got to understand that half the marriages end in divorce and the other half in death. Which is better?

quote:

Originally posted by rburg:

quote:

Originally posted by 1967Goat:
I also heard that marriage was the leading cause of divorce!

Well you've got to understand that half the marriages end in divorce and the other half in death. Which is better?

Death. And I haven't even tried that option yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Some of my favorite old school Top Gear UK episodes is when they shit on bicyclists. I admit I have some really great twisty roads in the hills around me and sometimes they cyclists will take up a whole lane. Doubly dangerous since there is no shoulder. I do my best (worst) British accent and yell "get a carrrr"

Hilarious, thanks for sharing it.

BTW, there is an entire web site dedicated to those, like our own Elk Hunter, who got trolled by the Onion thinking it was real news. ENJOY, LINK