This is my cousin, Mark. He died four years ago today, after a long battle with multiple cancers. We’re very close in age, and growing up I viewed him as my best friend. We spent a lot of time together and that time had a big impact on the rest of my life. He was a Nebraska farm kid and I loved small town/rural life, and that’s where I lived it.

There’s a reason for this post, and here it is. I left home at 19, while Mark was in the Navy. Over the years, our contact was sporadic, largely weddings and funerals. When I returned to Nebraska for visits, it was usually brief—holidays or the life events mentioned. Hard to get enough time to spend with immediate family, relationships with extended family suffered.

Months before his death, I heard through his sisters that Mark would like to talk. He was in the thick of his fight with cancer and undergoing horrific treatments, like radiation to his brain, that left him with severe side effects. We started talking regularly, rebuilding our relationship, talking about old times, his service years, cars, birds, music, and anything else that came to mind. We shared some laughs. We shared some tears. We told each other that “I love you.” Again and again.

He’s gone gone now, but I can smile because we had the chance to reconnect. Point being. If there’s someone in your life who was important to you that you’ve drifted away from because of life’s circumstances. For God’s sake—reconnect!

Good advice TMats

Word sir! I started spending more quality time with my dad about 5 years ago and I am forever glad that I did. He passed away this past August from post Covid issue. I will forever treasure that quality time with him.

My grandmother had a falling out with her brother that had kept them apart for over tens years!

When I asked them what was the cause, neither could remember.

They spent the next tens years as very close family before they died. They were so happy to have reconnected.

Wise words.

Sorry for your loss. Thanks for the wise advice.

A very close friend had a fight with his only daughter. She was killed by a drunk driver before they made up. His biggest regret in life.

My sympathies on the death of your cousin.

It sounds like he was a good man.

Thanks all for your kind words and wishes. Four years ago, my wife, Mary said, “This has hit you harder than you thought it would, hasn’t it?”

I don’t know that I really thought about what it might feel like when Mark died, but yeah, it hurt. I don’t think it’s possible to convey just how close we were...I’ve got some stories, and in our talks I heard Mark’s remembrances of the same events.

I think that when Mark and I were about 18, he and his older brother decided to race a stock car at the fair grounds. The class was pure stock and about all you could do was gut the interior, and you had to have a roll bar.

Mark drove the car and on one of the turns his car was forced to the outside of the corner and it rolled. I believe it rolled a couple of times, and came to rest on its side.

Mark and I talked about that race. He said, “Yeah, you were the first one to get to the car.” Then he told me, “I thought it was strange that you ran around an engine block to get to the car.”

I didn’t remember that, or that I was first to reach him. The engine tore loose from the mounts and was laying on the ground in front of the car.

After we hung up, I texted Mark. “Hey, was that stock car a Plymouth?”

“Yep,” he texted back. “a ‘57.”

How come I can remember the make of a car I saw once or twice from decades ago, but can’t remember why I walked into the bedroom?

I’ll also add that he was on the aircraft carrier, Oriskany, in the Gulf of Tonkin during the Vietnam War. He was trained as a helicopter mechanic and among his duties was to fly into Indian Country to helicopter crash sites to evaluate the wreckage. If the helo was salvageable, it would be lifted out. If it was not, he removed anything classified from the aircraft and set explosive charges. A much higher level of risk than one would typically associate with a mechanic on a carrier.

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Originally posted by TMats:
I’ll also add that he was on the aircraft carrier, Oriskany, in the Gulf of Tonkin during the Vietnam War. He was trained as a helicopter mechanic and among his duties was to fly into Indian Country to helicopter crash sites to evaluate the wreckage. If the helo was salvageable, it would be lifted out. If it was not, he removed anything classified from the aircraft and set explosive charges. A much higher level of risk than one would typically associate with a mechanic on a carrier.

Had a friend who passed away 3 or 4 years ago who did the exact same thing. He was a SeaBee, though. He had some good stories.

A SeaBee Challenge coin from him is one of my more treasured posessions.

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Originally posted by Flash-LB:

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Originally posted by TMats:
I’ll also add that he was on the aircraft carrier, Oriskany, in the Gulf of Tonkin during the Vietnam War. He was trained as a helicopter mechanic and among his duties was to fly into Indian Country to helicopter crash sites to evaluate the wreckage. If the helo was salvageable, it would be lifted out. If it was not, he removed anything classified from the aircraft and set explosive charges. A much higher level of risk than one would typically associate with a mechanic on a carrier.

Had a friend who passed away 3 or 4 years ago who did the exact same thing. He was a SeaBee, though. He had some good stories.

Rightly or not, I blame exposure to Agent Orange while in country for his many, and serious, health problems later in life.

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Originally posted by TMats:
Rightly or not, I blame exposure to Agent Orange while in country for his many, and serious, health problems later in life.

I've got mixed feelings about that. There were a lot of guys who were involved with the spraying of Agent Orange who are fine to this day.

Then there are people who had very slight exposure to it who seem to have a ton of medical problems.

My brother is in the second group. He was on a hospital ship off the coast of Vietnam for a year and worked as an operating room technician on the ship. He's got high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, Parkinson's and Alzheimers. He's being treated for all of this free of charge through the VA as they've assummed all of this was brought on by Agent Orange.

He's in hospice at this time and I still don't know how I feel about Agent Orange. I am glad it's not financially ruining his wife, though.