You say you respect me, you say you value your membership, you say you want to live. Give Smudge your address if that is so.

We're on the phone.

P220 Smudge, please check your email

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
P220 Smudge, please check your email

Replied. Wasn't ignoring you, we just got off the phone.

Go

The thread is reopened for general replies

P220 Smudge, glad you could reach him and help.

Para, Smudge has my address and sort of knows where I am at.

There's no medical treatment for my bladder problem other than an external catheter, but few can get a catheter into me.

BTW, the bladder problem is called interstitial cystitis, a disability. I've been to 4 urologists and have a good understanding of what the situation. The problem is intractable, especially when combined with a voiding dysfunction.

I do apologize to the forum for not checking my email address before creating a topic like this. If not rushed, I'll fix that to something using IMAP. (Update, fixed email address.)

I went ahead and took 1 mg of Xanax, just because my heart is becoming uncomfortable.

Yes spunk, very neat to get a phone call like that. I knew what I was doing when I fought hard to stay alive long enough to be able to ask for a CUT, several times.

Seriously…the members of this forum, from the top down, really care for the member’s wellbeing…please reach out for help in your area, please do this my friend…please…we do care!

Rh, if you need to email feel free, a lot of us will listen.

quote:

Originally posted by rh:
I need alcohol and medications to stay alive. I was told that I would die if I suddenly stopped medications and alcohol. No, I didn't die without or food. (I have no appetite.) I'm conducting an experiment on my body where I follow various doctors advice only to find out that they were wrong. I've plenty of wine to stay alive, but I've been told that is wrong. It's what keeps me alive. I can stop the experiment at any time.

Stop drinking. Listen to the doctors. Get well soon.

quote:

Originally posted by spunk639:
Rh, if you need to email feel free, a lot of us will listen.

It is my reasonably well-qualified opinion that unless you have extensive and/or professional experience in dealing with alcoholism and mental illness, that you do not seek to help. I believe to do otherwise would be enabling this man to continue drinking himself to death. I understand the good-hearted motivations being expressed here, but I don't think they come from a place of understanding the problem at hand.

If you are a sober alcoholic or addict, you may be able to help. May. I do not think he wants help.

Smudge, oh I want help, but I've already tried conventional means. All they do is take away your medications, and try to teach you a 12 step program. Every time that I try something like that, I end up staying awake for the entire time telling them that I can't sleep, to no avail.

The last time something like this happened, I nearly died (bled to death). I don't want to be taken to Vancouver (a suburb of Portland, OR) again. Nobody here will drive to Vancouver. A ride to Seattle takes a similar amount of time, but I know people who do / will drive around there.

At Vancouver, I was foolishly told that if I ever drank again, I would die. That was a mistake because I have continued on with 10-20 drinks per day. I did try to followup with a GI doctor in Olympia for regular inspection and repair, except that I got an ARNP instead of a doctor. She ordered a colonoscopy and wanted my vehicle driver (my step-father in Texas) to wait 2 1/2 months, but he had already been here a couple of months and needed to get home. (I didn't need a colonoscopy, I needed prompt inspection of and possible repair of my esophagus. I guess that would have been an EGD with banding of dangerous blood vessels.)

I really have tried everything, but that's becoming increasingly impossible with my single Obamacare option in insurance. I could just get on Medicaid ("Apple Health"), but that just narrows my options further.

9.75 years ago, I took my last drink, rh.
My digestive system was a mess, too.
Couldn’t imagine a day without it. Now, I can’t imagine a day with it.

The help you need is freely available. Just ask.
Only condition is that YOU have to WANT it.

There has never been a successful alcoholic.

Randy, I'm sorry you are going through this, I pray for the strength you need to get past it.

After reading the thread from 2018 (all 15 pages of it), and reading this thread, one thing becomes incredibly apparent.

You need to get sober. 10-20 drinks a day, and combining it with Xanax, is a recipe for disaster. At least start by getting off the Xanax. I have never been prescribed Xanax, but when I was younger I used to love to eat them, and smoke weed. I had some pretty interesting thoughts, and conversations with friends. The reality of it was I was just really intoxicated and what I believed to be reality, was just my imagination and the fact I was higher than a satellite.

I am an alcoholic. I don’t drink because of that. I haven’t been “high” (substances other than alcohol) in so long I can’t remember the last time. Maybe a 12 step program isn’t for you. It wasn’t for me, but I was also able to stop on my own. I am lucky, and my situation is rare. Most who quit without support will go right back to the old habits.

You mentioned in this thread, or the other one from 4 years ago, that “money is not a concern” (or something similar to that). My advice is that you should seek out a detox/rehab facility. If you can afford it, I strongly recommend Schick Shadel Hospital. It’s not far from you (you’re in Humptulips, correct?), and it is an incredibly awesome hospital that deals with issues exactly as you’re having. They specialize in chemical dependency and the medical staff they have is incredibly competent and will be able to help with the other health issues you have.

Schick Shadel Hospital
https://www.schickshadel.com/
12101 Ambaum Blvd SW, Burien, WA 98146
1-800-272-8464

RH, I am going to pray that you reach out to Schick Shadel. At least take the first step, and look at their website. If you really want help with your issues and health, this is the way. I know of a few people who have been there. They all say the same thing. It saved their life.

May God bless you with getting the help you need RH.

Get your liver checked if you don't already know the answer.
I have a brother-in-law that was taking similar chemicals plus a terrible diet for his digestive system. He would call us sounding similar and making little to no sense.
Finally a family friend got him out of the hospital he went to in emergency care and to us on the other side of the country.
Now after a liver transplant and no alcohol for two plus years he's doing fine.

Noah, I went to Lakeside-Milam with a guy who went to Schick-Schadel. He bought a twelve pack of Bud Platinum at the gas station across the street from Schick as he was leaving. They use aversion therapy, which involves medications that will make rh throw up. Having esophageal varices and vomiting is a risk of bleeding to death from his throat into his stomach, and he wouldn’t even be aware of it. That exact thing almost killed each of us before. Schick is experimental psych quackery with a little questionable outcome. I don’t know anybody who’s done a year of AA, worked the steps, and not had a changed life.

Rh, if you went to a place that does a twelve step program and didn’t actually work the steps, you didn’t try the program. The program is the steps. It’s a program of taking actions, not a self-help or learning thing. However, talking on the phone with you, I did not get the impression that alcoholism is your biggest problem. I think it’s some mental health issues, and better than Lakseide in-patient would be a stint at Fairfax next door. I don’t say that to be insulting or sound callous, but brother, you’re convinced of some things that simply aren’t true and/or simply aren’t a barrier to you getting sober.

quote:

I have continued on with 10-20 drinks per day.

I mean this right here. This is the source of your issues. You're an alcoholic my good man and it'll likely kill you with out some intervention. No wonder your whole GI system is wrecked.