I can see it now- children sitting around the campfire at camp, being told a scary story by one of the camp counselors- The Year Which Would Not End

It started out as a normal year, January 1st and all that, but not too far in, the scary COVID Monster showed up, starting eating the world and then crapped all over everything. Everyone was miserable except for Democrat state governors and MSNBC. "Hey," everyone told each other, "we'll get through this!"

And everyone believed that bullshit, and we lost our jobs and stopped leaving the house and had to wipe our ass with a towel and people stopped hugging and shaking hands and we contemplated the peacefulness of death.

"Hey," everyone told each other, "we'll get through this!"

But, each time the people said this, they believed it a little bit less, but, still, we held out hope.

And then, something very odd happened. Time began to slow down. May was ten weeks long. June took nine months to come and go. In some parts of the country, still, to this day, it's August.

Halloween finally crept its way up to us, and despite the masked and the social distancing and the crazed jobless loners lurking in the trees, the children donned their costumes and went from house to house at dusk, and stood on the sidewalks while old couples stood on their porches and waved and launched Snickers Minis and Candy Corn from slingshots. And we all thought, "This ain't so bad" and "Hey, we're gonna get through this!"

But, then, something which cannot be explained happened. Two days after Holloween, it was Holloween again, and the kids donned their costumes and the old people flung sugary confections from afar and people thought "What the fuck??!"

The trees stopped losing their leaves, and turned green again, and soon, the weather became warm. Scientists frantically searched for the cause. It was not, as gleefully hoped by Greta von Thuneburg and Rachel Maddow, the beginning of catastrophic global warming. No, it was far worse than that.

Time was going in reverse.

From Summer, we regressed into Spring, and then into the chilly months of late Winter, and then, it was January 1st once again. People prepared for Christmas, but it never came. In six weeks time, it was Valentine's Day, and young men stood on the porch of their parents home and flung red roses and Whitman's samplers at their remote dates.

Then, Easter

Then, the Fourth of July

But, time had resumed its normal pace, and the people were filled with hope. "Things are getting back to normal!" rejoiced the people.

And before too long, it was once again Halloween. America held its breath as November 2nd came, and the sun set and people had faith that time was back on track. Men hugged their wives. Parents hugged their children, and everyone gave a sigh of relief.

But two days later, the children donned their Halloween costumes and old people stood on their porches and shot at them, screaming horrible obscenities as the children scattered...

Waited my whole life for this year

Do I get 3 birthday parties this year?

I'd like to get the software for 2020 reinstalled as the version I got came with a virus

yeah, this has been the year from hell

it has absolutely sucked and there is only one redeeming feature and that is November 3

other than that, just about everything is entirely forgettable

It's the end of the world as we know it; and I feel fine.

For me, this has been the year from hell. i cannot remember a worse 12 months.

I’m alive my family is well and I choose to see our nation getting stronger and better.

Yes there are great challenges, and personally yes it has been hard in so many ways - but we are free, independent, live in the US under the Constitution and have family around us. Just like when I ran distance races...push hard to the next corner, then the next, then the next.

2020- the first adult year I haven't earned my full potential, my company shut down.

But I still got a lot out of 2020. Mainly, it has exposed the cockroaches, the true scum of the Earth, unlike any other year. And a LOT of people see it.

For me, it's been a valuable learning experience. And we still have three months to go

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
And then, something very odd happened. Time began to slow down.

Yes, staying at home with no real place to at in a hurry, time stretched a bit this year.

It's like Groundhog Day but you never fuck Andie McDowell.

Para, you should write a screenplay for a horror flick; you’ve already got a good premise going...

That made me both chuckle and cringe.

Good....if we are rewinding things I am staying in southern Poland.....they don't understand PC culture...and it's beautifu.

I think perhaps I get what you're saying. And I'm at least looking forward to the rewind for a while. Sadly I agree we'll see the ending at some point.

Times like this are inevitable during any long slog. If you keep slogging, there may, and probably will, be an end to it.

I dunno, staying home most of the time has for me made time fly by. A day full of activities seems to last much longer than one spent just watching tv or reading.

quote:

Originally posted by r0gue:
I think perhaps I get what you're saying.

I'm saying this year ain't NEVER GONNA FREAKIN' END!!

quote:

Originally posted by SigFan:
Para, you should write a screenplay for a horror flick; you’ve already got a good premise going...

First, I have to complete my latest historical romance- The Windswept Titties, under the nom de plume of Johannes Boot der Veer, of course.

quote:

First, I have to complete my latest historical romance- The Windswept Titties, under the nom de plume of Johannes Boot der Veer, of course.

I thought you were working on the pilot for "Next Door Dick".

Lots of irons in the fire.

so the rumored action flick "Return of the Wet Ninja Vixens" remains inaccurate?

quote:

First, I have to complete my latest historical romance- The Windswept Titties, under the nom de plume of Johannes Boot der Veer, of course.

Titillating!

Propably should rename it to 202020202020