May 06, 2019, 10:27 AM
Jim ShugartDem Candidates Promise Relief To Americans Sick And Tired Of Working All These Plentiful Jobs
From the Babylon Bee (satire)
U.S.—Democratic candidates have promised relief to Americans who are tired of working because of all the jobs that are available now.
"I'm here to promise you two things: rest and relief," Joe Biden said at a campaign stop. "Rest from working, and relief from all the job opportunities that are available to you today."
"It's overwhelming, the number of jobs out there," Elizabeth Warren said, echoing Biden's sentiments at a fundraiser. "It's too much for a person to take in all at once. I vow to you, as a strong, independent, Native American woman, to reduce your options considerably. That should simplify things for you."
The candidates may disagree on minor points of policy as to how to provide instant relief for Americans sick and tired of working. Bernie Sanders thinks we should tax the rich a lot more so they'll stop investing and creating jobs to provide relief. Joe Biden says he'll just roll things back to 2008. Kamala Harris suggested just arresting people who provide jobs. Beto O'Rourke has proposed a law that everyone be required to get high and listen to Rush every morning instead of go to work.
But no matter what specific policy proposal a given Democratic candidate endorses, they all agree: relief from jobs now!
LinkMay 06, 2019, 10:33 AM
AZSigsThere is so much crazy in this that I don't know where to start. Taxing the rich so they won't invest and provide more jobs. Take away job options for people because there are too many to decide from. Arresting people for providing jobs?
My head is going to split!
May 06, 2019, 10:36 AM
RightwireNot sure how much I believe this one..... seems like satire at best.
May 06, 2019, 10:56 AM
Otto PilotIt seems some folks don't read the whole OP, or it was edited to add the very first line.

May 06, 2019, 11:14 AM
LeemurEven though it’s satire, the Bee is closer to the truth than most major media.
May 06, 2019, 12:40 PM
satchThat would be the end result of a Democrat victory in 2020. At least one promise the Dems could carry out.