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Best Clean Joke This Year

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November 03, 2018, 11:24 PM
Tooky13
Best Clean Joke This Year
Best clean joke of the year (so far)

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...

"Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice..

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke


We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.
Abraham Lincoln
November 03, 2018, 11:27 PM
tatortodd
I didn't see that coming



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
November 03, 2018, 11:28 PM
1s1k
Nice!
November 04, 2018, 03:55 AM
arfmel
Shared
November 04, 2018, 03:05 AM
RichardC
Peter O'Toole liked this
November 04, 2018, 07:05 AM
molachi
quote:
Originally posted by tatortodd:
I didn't see that coming


Neither did I.
November 04, 2018, 07:21 AM
Cliff
Big Grin



"All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope."

--Sir Winston Churchill

"The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding citizens should also have guns. Otherwise they will win and the decent people will lose."

--James Earl Jones



November 04, 2018, 08:18 AM
MPB
Excellent! Big Grin
November 04, 2018, 08:29 AM
Jimbo54
Clever and funny.


________________________

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
November 04, 2018, 08:32 AM
Pipe Smoker
Yep, a good one! Smile



Serious about crackers.
November 04, 2018, 09:02 AM
P-220
Big Grin


Niech Zyje P-220

Steve
November 04, 2018, 09:20 AM
Warhorse
Stolen! Big Grin

Thanks for posting.


____________________________
NRA Life Member, MGO Annual Member
November 04, 2018, 11:13 AM
sigfreund
quote:
Originally posted by RichardC:
Peter O'Toole liked this


Big Grin




6.0/94.0

“I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.”
— The Wizard of Oz
November 04, 2018, 02:19 PM
Dzozer
Ba dum dum - ssssssss! Big Grin



'veritas non verba magistri'