Keep yourself under control. No nasty emails, texts or verbal confrontations. Her lawyer will tell her to save them all for court.

I sadly agree with the others that she already has a boyfriend. She won’t jump from a plane without having a soft place to land. I’ve been thru this myself. Keep your chin up and protect yourself. This storm will pass.

If you need to talk my email is in my profile.

I do not envy the ride you are about to take.

My ride tore me all the way down.

It took about 6 years for me to recover financially.

Members here helped out a lot during that time.

Goodluck. There is light at the end of the tunnel, know that. I separated from my ex in 2012. By 2017 I was re-married to an amazing woman.

Sorry to hear it. Do y'all have separate accounts, and if not, have you got a firm handle on your liquid assets?

It’s been my experience that just like a monkey, women won’t let go of one branch without having another in hand....

Sorry dude.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:

quote:

she just claims she is no longer in love, but wants to be friends

This may be true, or it may be a tactic.

Check six.

This ^^^^^

quote:

Originally posted by berto:
Lawyer up. Follow their instructions. Don't blab over the internet. Good luck.

And this ^^^^^

I warned one of my brothers in law. He disregarded. She's been yanking him around for nearly two years. Not to mention taking him for everything she can get away with.

I feel ya! I'm two years done with my divorce. Use your own lawyer to protect yourself. Don't give her side any ammunition. Do everything through your lawyer. I had no kids so mine wasn't too bad. My brother is almost six years into his divorce and he's almost financially recovered (he has two kids with her).

Good luck and remember to take care of yourself!

quote:

Originally posted by Sig2340:
Craig White. (703) 777-5700

He's in Leesburg, and pricy, but he came highly recommended.

This is a great recommendation. I was on the opposite end of his services (he was my ex's attorney) and while I had a really good and expensive attorney, Craig kicked our ass.

quote:

she just claims she is no longer in love, but wants to be friends

To quote Bosch, ”What’s the point?...”

quote:

Originally posted by berto:
Lawyer up. Follow their instructions. Don't blab over the internet. Good luck.

This!!!!!!

My step dad went thru this shit, many years ago.

His wife at the time was screwing around on him

A friend went with him, followed her. Found her doing the backseat tango with some dude in her car, parking lot of a night club. Step dad had his pistol and was going to shoot her, and as he told me much later, he could have got them both with one shot.

He opted for a divorce. Ended up with her getting the house, car, kids, alimony and child support payments. In short, she screwed her way to a very comfortable early retirement.

The judge at the divorce proceedings maintained that it was UNFAIR FOR HIM TO FOLLOW HER AROUND WITH A WITNESS. He paid child support for some 16 years.

Step dad told me that it would have been a lot cheaper to have shot both of them, then plead temporary insanity. At most, 18 months in the can.

Moral of this story, make damned sure you have an aggressive attorney who will do what is necessary to protect you!

quote:

Originally posted by ewills:
Crap, been in that situation also. Probably best to check out the professional recommendation by Sig2340 or 95flhr. Please be very careful with text message exchanges with her....Good luck, sir.

Suggest NO TEXT MESSAGES WITH HER OR HER LAWYER!

All communications thru his attorney!

Get a lawyer and DO.NOT.MOVE.OUT.OF.YOUR.RESIDENCE. Fuck the being friends thing, this aint no game now.

On a side note: You're going to be fucked up and depressed for a while. Ride it out. Things get much better. They really do.

Was in New Orleans on business just before Mardi Gras. Guy comes on the elevator beaming. He proudly announced that his divorce had become final.

Follow all the above advice. Listen to your lawyer. Don't make any promises, concessions or agreements without his or her engagement.

Cancel/suspend or freeze all the joint accounts, make sure she can't draw on home equity, life insurance policies, etc.

You can't believe how far south things can go.

Email in my profile

I have exactly who you need to speak with

She specializes in representing men and is known as “the bitch” in the court room

Full disclosure.... she’s one of my best friends

I agree with everyone who said she is probably having an affair. In addition to lawyering up, you may want to invest in a PI to follow her and get her cheating on the record. It can help you in negotiations. And it also may help you with closure.


.

Thanks everyone, sorry it took awhile to reply. Been sort of out of it. I’ll contact the folks recommended. Thank for everything.

quote:

Originally posted by NK402:

quote:

Originally posted by fpuhan:

quote:

Originally posted by Nciswit:
she just claims she is no longer in love, but wants to be friends

Translation: She's been having an affair.

In my experience, women don't take off, unless they have already a destination.

This is so not true. I handle dozens of divorces a year, and women and men leave in about equal numbers, and whether or not there is a new love interest is not different by gender. Some (both men and women) leave when they find new love, and some leave for other reasons.

I can't help with a Virginia lawyer.

Please don't take legal advice from your internet friends. There is some in here that is of dubious utility.

Remember that you are trying to protect yourself and she's trying to make her life as comfortable as possible moving forward. You are adversaries for the time being until that property settlement and divorce decree is signed.

Hire lawyer, communicate through him/her. Don't waste time on small patatos. If you are going fight her on something make sure it's worth the billable hours.

It's going to be a bumpy ride, make sure you got a buddy to have a beer with on the deck or in the man cave. It will suck for a while, then it will get better.

quote:

and some leave for other reasons.

But seldom for no reason.

quote:

Originally posted by Georgeair:

quote:

and some leave for other reasons.

But seldom for no reason.

Of course not. People don't do things for no reason. But I see more divorces in a year than Eva Gabor saw in her lifetime, and it is about infidelity much less often than you think.

quote:

Originally posted by jhe888:
This is so not true. I handle dozens of divorces a year, and women and men leave in about equal numbers, and whether or not there is a new love interest is not different by gender. Some (both men and women) leave when they find new love, and some leave for other reasons.

Just because it doesn't come up in the proceedings, doesn't mean it's not happening behind the scenes.