An Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner. Enjoy!



♦ I read that 4,153,237-people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.

♦ You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

♦ I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

♦ Denny’s has a slogan, "If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us." If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

♦ I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure doesn't hurt.

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♦ I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

Or a clothing store call "Dress Barn."

Damned aphorisms killed my rose bush.

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I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

That’s pretty funny

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The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

Heeheeeheee. that's so true.

I'm going to print this out and show it to my dog the next time she tries to drag me down the street past the mailbox, early in the morning walks.

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Originally posted by RichardC:

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The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

Heeheeeheee. that's so true.

I'm going to print this out and show it to my dog the next time she tries to drag me down the street past the mailbox, early in the morning walks.

Wow, what breed is it? If a Chihuahua, must you first translate this into Spanish, or is your dog bilingual?

Some of these are just great!

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain

My dad taught me that you can eat your pizza with alacrity and you can eat your pizza with cheese but you can not eat pizza with alacrity and cheese.