October 29, 2017, 08:43 AM
C SwimmYesterday would have been our 28th wedding anniversary and after spending the early morning hours cleaning out the bedroom closet I didn't need to spend the rest of the day at home.
We were high school sweethearts and I joined the army not long after graduation. I returned home to marry her when she was still only 17. A lot of our friends and family thought our marriage couldn't last starting out so young, but whenever things got tough we always had each other. We had our first daughter after only one year of marriage but she suffered from serious medical problems shortly after birth that lead to her death at only 4 years of age. Our marriage held strong and we made it through multiple combat deployments between the two of us and countless other times apart due to our both being in the military.
A lot of people that didn't know us long don't realize that we never served at the same time. I got out in 1995 and after nearly 8 years as a military wife, she then enlisted. She went the full 20 years first as an MP and then later as a Career Counselor.
Even though we had some rough times we rarely argued after the loss of our first daughter. We had some disagreements but we always worked them out.
For those wondering what happened to her, I had posted about it not long ago on another forum in a thread where a Member there thought he might be an alcoholic. I knew she was going at that point but I had no idea it would be only 9 days later. Here is that post..
quote:My wife would have a couple of beers after work each day and a few more on the weekends. Then she was putting away a 6 pack a day at least with probably closer to 12 on weekend nights. Then it went to rum and coke. Until recently she was going through a 1.75L bottle of Bacardi every two days of so. She doesn't drink much now but hasn't quit completely. The only thing that has slowed her down is that she is too sick to drink like that now.
She is spending a second night in the ICU tonight. Was up there twice last week too. She has Cirrhosis now and is in liver failure. All the vomiting, diarrhea/incontinence , not being able to eat hardly anything, being too weak to get to the bathroom in time has really cut back on her drinking. She will be 46 in December. If she makes it to December. She has the fluid building up in her abdomen and lower legs now. Tuesday she had to have some fluid drained from her belly. They took 5.3 liters out. Her electrolyte levels are so low her heart could stop. That's why she is in the ICU again.
It's not a pretty way to go. Once the liver is damaged it can't heal. Drinking to excess is damaging you liver and eventually it is nothing but scar tissue. She still thinks she isn't that bad and doesn't believe the doctors. She thinks she doesn't drink that much.
Stop now. If not for you, do it for your family. Worst conversation I have ever had was trying to explain to our 18yr old daughter last week that her mother is dying and might not make it to the end of this year.
Happy anniversary Tracy. I love you and will miss you deeply. I always saw you as the beautiful young girl I fell in love with and married.
Wedding by c.swimm, on FlickrUntil we are together again Tracy.
Untitled by c.swimm, on Flickr
Untitled by c.swimm, on Flickr