This sounds dumb but stay with me.

If I think about a timeline, Facebook went live in 2004, Hillary lost in 2016.

I just skipped a lot of things. It's 2024 now.

How we got here hardly matters. It's nice to try to understand it, but not if you're in the fight. You just need to know what to do.

All this feeling shit, the girl bosses, the sitcom dads, the war on boys is real. The war on girls is real too, it's called "transgender," but someone else can take that.

I have to say this: The only true immortality is through your children. Act like it.

What the fuck do you teach your son, how do you give them the tools to navigate the churning mess?

I don't know you. You might be white, black, yellow, etc. etc. If you're gay or trans and reading this... Good show?

I'm speaking to men and boys, but frankly this will work for the ladies too.

If you aren't familiar with Thomas the Tank Engine, I'm really talking about the original series. It's great. Watching it if no children are present, would be unlikely so I'll get straight to it. Any good childrens show is going to have a bunch of wholesome and positive messages. Why did I single this one out?

"Always Be Useful"

There are many lessons a boy, a man should learn. I sure have more to teach my son, but they all flow from this. There are loads of other key points. Family first. Trust but verify, and so on and so forth.

You need to show them the way, without scaring the shit out of them. The reality is that no one is on their side, no one cares, and failure is absolutely possible. That's even before we get to the "fourth wave?" feminism and all the other marxist dogshit and hard left poison.

I'm a Cubmaster, in the crumbling wreckage of an institution that at one time was trying to build citizens and teach them skills. Unfortunately some people touched some kids, so burn it all down, right? No, burn those people.

IF you bring a child into this world. It is your duty to walk through HELL to give them the tools to survive. I don't mean by bribing college admissions, or suing the daycare. Don't lie to your child, but don't expose them to the raw truth of your shitty relationship with your wife either. If she's a bitch, be an adult and break it off without screaming matches your kid can't sleep through.

Where was I? Ah yes. Always Be Useful.

Teach your children to learn from everyone. Teach your children to be helpful. Teach your children to always do their best. I think there is a CSNY song about this. I don't know how much I have talked about it, but I met Mr. Rogers in person. That man understood children. Early childrens television was weird, but had some solid shit. Another tangent someone can take.

My son, from the very beginning, has always been limited on screen time. We read to him, we talk to him. We both grew up as "latchkey" kids and were walking home a distance that would be a call to the police today. When we go to a restaurant, we don't just dump him in a screen. Do you understand your job as a parent? I'm not sure my parents did, but I'm fucking certain people are letting Youtube and Facebook raise their kids, because they weren't mature enough to have kids.... This is a terrifying time.

I left construction because I could, when I did, because of the wastoids. It was bad, it's only worse. The bottom is already fallen out, your kids are worthless consumer whores and nothing more. Unless you did your fucking job.

Do your JOB.

You created life, and now it is your mistake, or triumph. Either way it is your legacy and your choice.

If it's not clear, I'm upset about this. I've been to meetings at my sons school, and this is not a joke. Where I have uttered this statement to wide eyes:

"He's a boy, and he's smart, he's going to try to pick your locks."

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's worse than you thought.
If your child is in public school, the worst thing they're actually doing is trying to be a friend.

My efforts are focused on only one person, really. My Son. Fuck all the rest of you. This is is a sinking ship. Who will survive? The Useful. Pick your form of government, failed or otherwise. I can teach my son all kinds of things, from fire to knots to carpentry and welding, and we have guns and ammunition. We'll take your food when society collapses.

The people who have stopped talking to me over the years, because I was too far left, or too far right, have all made the mistake of narrowing the pool of people who will aid them when it really matters.

If I'm Gay, or Bi, or Trans, or (religion, ethnicity, grievance class) does it matter if I'm a decent person who lives and lets live? John Lennon was a rich asshole who took too many bullets, MLK's message has been ignored.

NOBODY cares. NO ONE is coming for you. You only have what you have learned, and your family and friends. The government, local, state, and federal, will react to protect itself before actually helping you.

NO ONE is coming for you.

ALWAYS BE USEFUL.

I left out what to teach your daughter because I don't have one, not because I have a small cock or huge cock or something. I leave that to someone who knows.

If you've been handing your child a phone because you can't be bothered, you done fucked up, bro.

I agree with what you’re saying, or at least the last part that I followed completely. Yes, society is pretty fucked, and yes, it’s from too many generations of kids having kids, and not teaching them life.
This is why I ended up with adult stepchildren. I was in no place to have or raise a kid. Fortunately I was smart enough to know I was a dumbass and I didn’t have a litter of crumbsnatchers.

That said, I sure wish more parents took the time you take when raising their kids.

Don't take this the wrong way, folks, but I don't care what anybody reading this thinks of me, and not being staff is a crisp breeze across my taint.

My warning lights for this thing we apparently agree on as "society" have been on for a while, and the shit I've seen as an inspector is just a taste of what police and fire endure.

I got out of construction because of injuries, and that I wasn't getting along with the young people. I feel like I left the bridge while the fucking tanker hit it.

I'm a skeptic, and I'm not religious, I'm not by nature alarmist or conspiratorial. The bottom already fell out, they went from "illegal immagrant" to "immagrant" to "migrant" to who gives a fuck.

The National Debt is a joke, there is no accountability, that money is already gone, but people born at the right time get their vote bought by "tuition forgiveness?"

Civil war? Whatever. We'll eat the rich and Balkanize before a "traditional" civil war sequel. We still don't have a Bastille Day.

Argue with me if you like. Young "men" and "women" today will fold like lawn chairs when real problems arise where nobody is blocking the penalty kick for them.

Uncle Chopper was right. Harden the fuck up.

After I read all this, one thing flashed into my mind.

A scene from the Godfather: “You can act like a man!”

I hear what you're saying, and I agree. I've always phrased it a little different, but basically mean the same thing: "Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem."

I've always tried to have the skills to take care of myself and my family. I want us to have as little dependence as possible on society/the government, and have an attitude of resilience rather than helplessness whenever things go wrong. Whether it be growing/harvesting food, repairing my house or my car, self-defense, trauma care, etc...I want to have at least a passable skillset in all of that stuff and instill that in my kids as well.

Our kids are all homeschooled, because I don't see letting the government fill their minds with all the crap that they're peddling these days. It's our responsibility to see that they're raised to be decent, capable humans, and sticking them in a .gov indoctrination center for 30-40 hours per week didn't seem like a smart way to go about that.

Our oldest finally got a phone because he's working and needs to get a hold of us when he's away. He's 15, working one day a week at a friend's manufacturing business, and going to just about full-time over the summer. He's more responsible than most of the adult employees, and is entrusted with much of the higher-skill jobs that his boss can't trust most of the other adult employees to do. They sent him home with a Miller welder a few months ago and he's been teaching himself to stick weld in the garage. He's planning to start with Tig as soon as he gets an argonne bottle and some tungsten. We've been building a trailer together out of some steel that he got from a buddy, and he's doing a pretty good job. He shoots, hunts, and fishes (including gutting, cleaning, and cooking) and he helps with building projects around the house. He also started working out and lost 40lbs this past year and is putting solid effort into getting in shape. I'm pretty proud of the track he's on.

The younger ones are learning, too. I've been putting in a fence in the back yard and all of them have been out there helping...digging holes, moving rocks, running line, holding the level, etc. I even put my daughter to work with a sledge hammer the other day busting concrete off the old posts, lol. She typically spends a lot more time with my wife and her mom, and she's really into art and making stuff. She just made a bunch of pies with my mother-in-law the other night, and fed the whole family.

The two youngest boys are getting old enough to help out with stuff, too. The youngest is really getting into fishing, and helped me repack the wheel bearings on the boat trailer last night, and change the oil in the car last week. He just turned 9, so he's got some time before he has to make any serious decisions about what he wants to do, but he's going to get some experience now either way.

All that to say, I agree with your post. Our kids are our greatest responsibility. Society sucks and I have little hope for it. The best I can do is try to raise my kids with the skills and attitude necessary to succeed in whatever environment they find themselves living in.

quote:

Always Be Useful

Or, as Red Green put it: "If you can't be handsome, at least be handy."

Arc and 92, I don’t have children (had a step daughter for a while, but that is a long ago story…) but I could not agree more with your sentiments. I only hope there are enough parents thinking like you, because I know plenty who aren’t. Their kids will most likely not do well in good situations and will be marginally more useful than fill dirt in bad ones.

A lot of good stuff in there, Arc. Too much stream of consciousness.

Arc,

Have enjoyed your posts for several years. I started here in 2002 without the 1 in my ID.

I agree with what you said.
I think Faith should/CAN be in the best equation.

I've been technically Christian for a lot of years, I believed the tenets etc, but I never really let my belief in Christ direct me. I never ACCESSED what he offered me.

Right now I wouldn't BE HERE, because of recent trauma to my now 3rd marriage, without that faith. I genuinely feel I was TOLD to "persevere". Having that counsel can be a very present help in times of trouble.

So thanks for what you said. I just wanted to add my 2 cents into the equation.

Doug

What came to mind even before you mentioned you're a Cub leader:

A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

Really that is all a boy needed to learn to be successful as a man.

quote:

A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

I took that seriously as a Scout. Still do. Now my kids (the two who are married) are raising their own kids. Two girls by our daughter, a son by my oldest son.

It’s one of the great joys of life to see your own children as parents, doing their best to raise their children to follow their values—-your values.

We were blessed with a son-in-law and daughter-in-law supportive of their spouse, serious about wanting children, raising children, being a loving husband/wife. I hope that means that the choices our children made were based on the values we raised them with.

Of course, we weren’t expecting those values to be ridiculed by society at large—or at least the malicious part of society mirrored in the media and especially social media. So we feel the need to remain involved—-to be useful, in Arc’s phrase—to provide what help and support we can to help those in the next generation to raise the following one. We won’t live to see beyond that generation, but hope and pray that our teaching and example will continue to be meaningful.

quote:

Originally posted by arcwelder:
I left out what to teach your daughter because I don't have one, not because I have a small cock or huge cock or something. I leave that to someone who knows.

As someone who has a son and a daughter, you teach them almost exactly the same thing. The daughter learns to shoot, to fight, to operate any equipment she wants to learn, to weld, etc. Not because I expect her to earn a living with any of those things, but so she knows what is involved and isn’t intimidated by any of it. The additional training the daughter gets is to be very careful. Most men are good humans, but you only have to run into one bad one. Also, even some men who aren’t generally bad will be stupid/dangerous when intoxicated. Don’t put yourself in a bad position, and don’t hesitate to act aggressively to get yourself out of a situation you see is headed south. Interestingly, the lesson more directed toward the son, “Look out for the women in your life and your friends.” has also been received by the daughter. On more than one occasion she has gone out of her way to drive / chaperone / otherwise look out for friends (female & male) who might need a little “adult supervision”.

I guess the most important lesson for both is “Be a good human.”

Above all, you must teach your children to be resilient. They'll bite on some of your parental instruction, but not all. But resiliency is modelled by you and your partner. The great thing about humans is even if they didn't pay attention when you showed them how to change a tire, they are capable of knowing a) that it's their problem to solve, not anyone else's; and b) how to figure it out. But (a) has to come before (b).

When my daughter played middle school basketball, her team was epically bad. I mean really bad. During one game some trash talking ensued, and the girl my daughter was guarding told her "you should just go kill yourself". My daughter was surprised and hurt by this and told her coach, and all manner of drama ensued. I was at the game. My daughter wasn't expecting all the hubbub, she was just tearful and her coach asked her why. The opposing player was benched and after the game I was approached by the referee, the AD from our school and the opposing team's coach. Clearly, they were expecting a parental meltdown.

I told them that I had told Anna that trash talking was part of any sport, she should expect it, and if it bothered her she always had the option of making the other player eat their words on the court. I said we considered the matter closed and we would see them at next week's game. To which our school's AD very relievedly said "Thank you." She got the message. She also got the message that acting like an asshole is hurtful.

In the end, she decided that she was meant for different things (she's throws a mean discus and is the first-chair flute in her school's band), but that lesson served her well. She graduates next week with a 4.4. She still likes basketball, though.

Make them tough and the rest will take care of itself.

My youngest turned 35 in April, and made me a grandfather last year. You speak truth Arc. The boys are both Army vets, the girl has a PhD in genetics and genomics and still plays league soccer at 36. She's also a tough cookie. I was not my child's and stepchild's friend. I am their parent. There are always hard choices. In the end, we raised some pretty fine adults. Make em tough and self reliant.

We're friends now, because they and we, are good people, but we're also still parents. At this stage, the role becomes more a sounding board, and a healthy spoiler of grandchildren.

I'm pretty sure that my granddaughter will have body armor at an early age. Firearms safety and expertise will absolutely be part of her upbringing.

My lazy as hell as a teenager son, is charging hard, has a very well equipped shop in his garage, and knows his way around the sheet metal on a SH-60 as supervisor on Seahawk maintenance at North Island, in addition to chasing a 18 month old around

Tooting a horn here because I think what you stated has great value.

Thomas the Tank Engine is right!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: scratchy,

My dad taught shop: power mechanics, wood shop and then vocational auto mechanics in high school. Let your girls lesrn all the things your boys do. I was married to a guy who had a starter/slternator shop. I still joke that I used to build a mean Delco starter case. I was not allowed to drive my car until I knew how to maintain/check all the fluids and to change a tire. Weeded out a lot of worthless men who didn’t know how to do anything.

quote:

Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
Weeded out a lot of worthless men who didn’t know how to do anything.

After her divorce, my daughter did a lot of dating looking for Mr. Right. She dumped one guy (that I thought may be a serious candidate) when she found out he didnt know how to start a lawn mower! She has since found the right one.

Arc, you pointed out something I hadn’t given my son in law enough credit for. He was raised on a small farm, “little house on the prairie” he calls it. Frugality and making do were a lifestyle.

He’s teaching his boy every manner of mechanical skills. This started about the age of 3, last project was a home built go-cart fashioned out of a wheelbarrow, a baby t-bucket.

Anyway I think it’s time to point out what a good job they are doing. Thanks for the heads up.

quote:

Originally posted by ranger312:

quote:

Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
Weeded out a lot of worthless men who didn’t know how to do anything.

After her divorce, my daughter did a lot of dating looking for Mr. Right. She dumped one guy (that I thought may be a serious candidate) when she found out he didnt know how to start a lawn mower! She has since found the right one.

Even in the age of gender roles and equality and all that, men who lack basic skills should be ignored. Would you want that whelp in a foxhole next to you, how about in a marriage?

Things are really fucked right now, and I just look at the job market and what business owners are saying about the quality of labor pool, and good grief. Women have been sold "girlboss," men have told they shouldn't be.... There is something to be said for the roles we're biologically programmed for. There are people who are programmed differently, and their percent of the population is grossly inflated. They can exist, but we need to stop listening to their zealots.

quote:

Originally posted by TMats:
A lot of good stuff in there, Arc. Too much stream of consciousness.

It's how I do my best work. I write how I think and talk, with few edits. Try to filter it and something of the flavor is lost.

Shit is way to serious, you need to keep a sense of humor otherwise the Terrorists win.