The Friday 13th Calamity Thread

March 13, 2020, 10:57 AM

I went to Home Depot to get some TP and the shelves were bare...... so I picked up a bunch of electrical components so I could add more outlets around my basement.

We will never know world peace, until three people can simultaneously look each other straight in the eye

Liberals are like pussycats and Twitter is Trump's laser pointer to keep them busy while he takes care of business - Rey HRH.

March 13, 2020, 12:17 PM

tatortodd

quote:
Originally posted by ugeesta:
I went to Home Depot to get some TP and the shelves were bare...... so I picked up a bunch of electrical components so I could add more outlets around my basement.

Should’ve visited the plumbing section and bought a bidet

Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.

March 13, 2020, 01:15 PM

sjtill

quote:
Thanks for your recent order. Unfortunately, the items shown below are delayed. We'll ship them as soon as we can and, if possible, upgrade you to faster shipping at no additional cost.

OMG!! I’m going to Discount Tire and buying some truck tires! I’ll have to get them now in case I buy a truck!

_________________________
“ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne

March 13, 2020, 01:47 PM

mcrimm

Went to the beach and watched the families and spring breakers splash around in the Gulf. I expected to dive in and save someone. Nope.

I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown
...................................
When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham

March 13, 2020, 01:52 PM

2BobTanner

quote:
Originally posted by synthplayer:
I read the verse and asked my Dad: "When Jesus said, 'Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set thee free,' to what was He referring?"

Before he answered, we both overheard my mother trying to reassure someone over the phone that the Friday the 13th stories were just superstitions, and they should be ignored.

My father didn't even have to answer my question verbally - he just looked at me after what we had just overheard with a look on his face that said it all.

I’m sure that the Knights Templar would disagree with that assessment.
https://www.history.com/news/w...-the-knights-templar

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LGBFJB

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." — Mark Twain

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” — H. L. Mencken

March 13, 2020, 02:51 PM

phydough

Truck engine developed a misfire.
Snowed 3" on top of mud.
Yay!!!

March 13, 2020, 02:52 PM

l33571

It burns when I pee.

March 13, 2020, 03:27 PM

MikeinNC

Went to Lowe’s, the computers were down so there was no buying w/o cash...and I didn’t get my military discount...

"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein

“You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020

“A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker

March 13, 2020, 03:30 PM

rburg

quote:
Originally posted by l33571:
It burns when I pee.

Increase your alcohol intake. And make it a higher proof. At least 151 rum, but grain alcohol will work. I recommend Everclear. You can use it for hand cleaner, too.

March 13, 2020, 03:38 PM

l33571

quote:
Originally posted by rburg:
quote:
Originally posted by l33571:
It burns when I pee.

Increase your alcohol intake. And make it a higher proof. At least 151 rum, but grain alcohol will work. I recommend Everclear. You can use it for hand cleaner, too.

Good advice. Next up, drunk shit posting on Friday the 13th.

March 13, 2020, 04:18 PM

sgalczyn

quote:
Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
13 is my lucky number, so today is a great day!!!!

Ditto....above average incidence of Good Luck on this date.....I'm buying a lottery ticket.

March 13, 2020, 04:41 PM

David Lee

There is 13 Grams of protein in 1 serving of my Kroger beef jerky.

March 13, 2020, 04:42 PM

Pyker

quote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
quote:
Thanks for your recent order. Unfortunately, the items shown below are delayed. We'll ship them as soon as we can and, if possible, upgrade you to faster shipping at no additional cost.

OMG!! I’m going to Discount Tire and buying some truck tires! I’ll have to get them now in case I buy a truck!

March 13, 2020, 04:58 PM

Sunset_Va

Needed a sidewalk edger..found this one at Lowes.

March 13, 2020, 06:00 PM

arfmel

I dropped my Hot Pocket.

March 13, 2020, 07:17 PM

ARMT Guy

It's always a lucky day for me.

Especially today!

March 13, 2020, 08:22 PM

Texas Bob C.

I went to the pawn shop and bought a like new used Ruger American 30-06 for $240. How's that for bad luck? Now to be so unlucky to find a used 308 for that price.