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At Jacob's Well |
12 hours on a flight from Sri Lanka next to an elderly man who had some weird, funky BO thing going on along with his intestinal issues and a cold. Spent the whole flight leaning as far into the aisle as I could go. I wish I could describe the BO. It was like a junior high locker room mixed with curry, flatulence, and some weird sweet aroma that only made it worse. I can still smell it. J Rak Chazak Amats | |||
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Member |
Great thread to read - We're flying to Phoenix in a few hours. Mike I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown ................................... When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham | |||
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WARNING - TMI (Too much information) for some ahead... This one's easy. About 15 years ago, I was flying with my wife and young kids from Dulles Airport to Montana. A week prior to the flight, some sort of intestinal bug went through the family, kids first, then wife. It was one of those "Cruise Ship" type viruses - like the Noro virus that makes you throw up profusely, then after a day or so it gets out of your system. Anyway, Every member of the family got it except me. Fortunately, everyone recovered in time for our trip. Great. Our flight was in the evening, and before we left, I had a big lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Halfway through the flight, I started getting that feeling - I was finally catching the bug. I was sitting in a window seat. Then, suddenly, I realized I was going to throw up. My wife, who was seated in an adjacent isle (I had strangers sitting next to me), said that I "burst" into action like she had never seen me before. I jumped out of my seat, and over the two adjacent seats and landed in the isle in one single movement, and ran to the lavatory. I was in there for 30 minutes. My wife, knew what was happening and mentioned to the flight attendant why I was in the lavatory so long. While I was vomiting into the toilet, it was the "longest" vomit I ever had. I thought I was never going to stop. While it was happening, I remember thinking pretty soon, I was going to have to come up for air. When I was finally done, I was mostly fortunate that I made it to the lavatory in time, but the "splashing" from the vomit hitting in the toilet got on my clothes. Luckily, my always prepared for anything wife had a change of clothes, so she came to the lavatory, and I was able to change into new clothes, and put the old clothes into a plastic bag the flight attendant provided. It was quite an embarrassing experience. I never even saw the fortune cookie come up. | |||
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Was flying from Cleveland Ohio to Jacksonville Naval Air Station when I was about 12 years old. I was going to visit my Dad who was stationed down there. Back in those days kids traveling alone wore a goofy-ass name tag that said who you were and where you were going. Getting close to Jacksonville, the pilot announces the possibility of nasty turbulence. Not 20 seconds later the stewardess and any unrestrained passengers hit the ceiling, all of the overhead bins opened up and puked out their contents, and unsecured personal items were tossed about the cabin. I remember women crying, people puking, and a whole lot of hand holding and mumbling going on around me. We landed shortly thereafter and several people required medical attention. Pretty wild thing for a 12 year old traveling alone. | |||
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| Get my pies outta the oven!  |
I don't have any really "bad" experiences flying but do recall that flying into Aspen, CO was more like "dropping" in as the airport was in a bowl surrounded by mountains and the only was to land was to basically drop the plane down and in. That was...interesting. | |||
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אַרְיֵה |
As with anybody who has spent significant time instructing, I have a few stories about the trainees who tried their best to kill me. One that sticks in my memory was 1969. Yes, fifty years ago. I was working at a school at Chicago’s Midway airport. Our exclusive focus was on the Instrument Rating for clients who already had pilot certificates, but were not instrument rated. The school boasted that they turned out instrument pilots. Actual, competent, pilots, not just certificate holders. To this end, we flew with our trainees in all sorts of crappy weather, as long as
In this simulated check ride, my role was to pretend to be the examiner, evaluate the student’s performance, and decide whether he should be recommended for the check ride. I spent a couple of hours giving him a thorough oral exam and going over his flight plan. Everything went well, so we copied the instrument clearance and departed. The student did an outstanding job on the flight, and on our return to Midway, we were given approach clearance for the localizer approach to 31 left. Just before my trainee intercepted the final approach course, he knocked the charts off his lap and they fell to the floor. He had been doing a great job, so I said, “keep flying, I’ll get the charts.” I picked them up, found the one that he needed, handed it to him, and glanced at the panel. Everything looked good, level at 1,500’ (still in the clouds), localizer needle centered, airspeed good, power setting good. And that’s when Approach Control asked, “Who is that, going outbound on the localizer?” Another look at the panel and I realized that while I was picking up the charts from the floor, the student had intercepted the localizer and started OUTBOUND, 130*, instead of turning in toward the runway, 310*. In a post-flight de-briefing, it turned out that he had not understood that the approach clearance that we had received implied that he should make a straight-in approach, so he turned outbound to start a procedure turn (a course reversal maneuver). The scary part? There was a B-727 inbound on the localizer, so we were setting up for a head-on, in the clouds, where we could not see each other. Having flown at Midway daily, I knew the missed approach procedure for that runway without referring to the chart. I told the student, “my airplane,” initiated an immediate climbing turn to the south, and told Approach Control that we we executing the missed approach, climbing to 3,000’, going direct to Peotone. I got my pulse rate under control, my adrenaline settled down, requested another approach clearance (which I flew), returned to the school, where I recommended additional ground instruction on understanding ATC clearances for this student, and started filling out the paperwork for a NASA safety report. Of all the “interesting” experiences I have had in over a half century of flying, that was probably one of the scariest, coming fairly close to killing me, my trainee, and a B-727 full of passengers and crew. הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים | |||
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Flying Turkish Airlines domestically in 89-90. Every seat was a smoking seat. As soon as the no-smoking sign went out, everybody lit up. The smoke filled the cabin from the ceiling down until it looked like a heavy fog. | |||
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IAH-SDF (Louisville, KY) About 20 miles west of SDF. In solid overcast, precipitation had passed, continuous moderate to severe turbulence trying to get into SDF...we were on the back side of a fast moving front that was trucking east pushing through SDF. We were still on vectors just getting to the airport area when we encountered all the bumps, so we diverted back out to the clear air we had just left and requested holding instructions to figure out what to do. Didn't have a lot of gas to spare, so we had to make a plan quick. We decided to give it a second try at a lower altitude below 10,000 feet where we had to be slower than 250 knots, thinking it might make things better. It didn't. It was the same or even worse at 9,000'. Diverted to IND. And yeah...the bumps were only SLIGHTLY better there, to the point I had the F/O control the thrust levers so I could keep both hands on the yoke during the approach and landing. Get to the gate in IND, the F/O and I cleaned our shorts, and then had a pow-wow with Dispatch. Got new paperwork, got some gas, and called SDF tower to get a status. They said a Southwest flight had to make an alternate plan as well right after we boltered out of the area, so if THOSE guys didn't make it in, it was bad. Tower stated the last few arrivals had reported nothing but light chop on approach. Hell to the yeah! Kick the tires and light the fires! We're heading to the overnight! AND the bar!!!  I went up to the gate area, made an announcement to the passengers, and had everyone on board within 15 minutes pushing the gate. The ride was as smooth as a baby's butt throughout the short flight all the way to touchdown...not one ripple! Crazy how 1 hour can make a difference in the weather. We only lost 3 or 4 passengers that decided to share a rental and drive to SDF, but we probably still beat them there.  That event honestly shook my confidence for a few months with respect to turbulence...  But I DID learn one thing...that EMB-145 is build like a brick house!!! DAMN good airplane, that EMB-145!!  "If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24 | |||
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| Do---or do not. There is no try. |
I have had a number of extraordinarily annoying, upsetting, and frustrating airline flights over the past five decades. Those were nothing compared to two terrifying flights in the ‘90s. 1. On an early 1995 trip to a meeting in the Florida Keys from DFW, I had a stopover in Miami to change planes. I and several other people from my company walked out on the apron to board an American Eagle plane to Key West. I immediately noticed that the plane was an ATR. Then other passengers picked up on it. Needless to say, the Indiana ATR crash from only a few months earlier was VERY fresh on our minds. Ten minutes into the flight, I noticed we were banking very slowly and figured out we were turning around. The pilot finally got on the loudspeaker, and just above the noise of the engines I heard the word “hydraulics.” The female co-worker seated next to me asked what those were. I said, “Oh, nothing important. They just run stuff like steering, flaps, and landing gear.” Her eyes got as big as dinner plates. We finally finished our large circle back to Miami International and had a rough but safe landing. Every piece of equipment from the airport fire department was on hand to greet us. An hour later, American Eagle brought out another plane for us—-another ATR. Some of the passengers freaked. I walked up to the person in charge at the ticket counter. I told her, “Look, everyone on the first ATR figured out what we were on and knew about the Indiana crash. Now that ATR had problems that could have made US go down. No more ATRs. Give us something else. I live in Dallas, I’ve been in Robert Crandall’s house, and my ghost will haunt that place if you don’t find a different plane.” In half an hour, we boarded a Shorts 360. 2. On a trip to San Fran, my flight destination was Carmel. We had a 25-30 mph crosswind coming in for landing, and when our 737 got down to 700 feet, the pilot had the plane pointed almost 15 degrees right and only had two-thirds of the runway ahead of us. He hit the thrusters, put the nose up, and we BARELY cleared the hills in front and to the right of us. He succeeded on the second try, and most of us on board kissed the ground when we stepped off. Even counting every incident I’ve had as a cop, that was the closest I’ve come to dying. | |||
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Pick one. On a Northwest redeye from Seattle->Minneapolis the guy next to me was hammered when he got on the plane. Kept going to the bathroom for a drink from his stash and a smoke (somehow disabled the smoke detectors). I finally grassed him to the flight attendants and they gave him a lecture but nothing else. Then he started making heaving noises and I insisted on being moved. Ended up in a jumpseat the rest of the flight with him passed out in his and my original seat. Flying into JFK on a bad storm night in the days when they'd have you circle instead of not letting you take off until there was a landing spot. Bounced around in heavy turbulence for over an hour. Closest I've ever come to puking on a plane. At one point it was so bad most of us thought that was it. A big woman in a hijab left her seat and was on her knees in the aisle praying to Allah at the top of her lungs. Two FAs tackled her and got her belted back into her seat. Flying from Boston->Orlando on the old Northeastern Airlines (different from Northeast). Their New York "hub" was MacArthur Airport in Islip on Long Island. We had to drop off and pick up passengers there. Heavy rain, low ceiling. When we break through the clouds at about 200' it's plain to us all that the pilot screwed up since we're 60° off line from the runway we were supposed to be landing on. He pulled up in time but we lost our spot and circled in rough air for nearly an hour. Truth: The New Hate Speech | |||
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1) Rapid decompression on an AWACS--no big deal, really--got on O2 and descended and diverted. 2) Using a CAP Piper twin to do some HF portable radio testing for a counterdrug mission we were planning. On landing, struck a flock of Canada geese which were flushing from the runway. We were about 15-20 feet when the collision occured. I was in the right seat and my radio guy was in the rear. Broke the windshield in front of me, but we landed safely--a tribute to the pilot! As I recall, one engine was damaged besides the windshield. Pretty exciting for a few seconds! "Dead Midgets Handled With No Questions Asked" | |||
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| A day late, and a dollar short  |
Back in 1976 when I was active duty in the USMC, I was on a commercial flight from California back home to Michigan. I don't remember why, but during a layover in Chicago I believe, the plane was stopped out on the tarmac for a few hours. The A/C quit working sometime into this ordeal, they subsequently gave us all free alcohol on board till the problem was resolved, and we were airborne again. There were more than a few of us passengers that were pretty inebriated by then. ____________________________ NRA Life Member, Annual Member GOA, MGO Annual Member | |||
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Tampa to EWR a large woman had explosive diarrhea, as she wobbled down the aisle to the rear lavatory. She didn't make it and several people got hit with her shrapnel. Luckily I wasn't one of them. It was a Gagging flight for all. | |||
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| Happiness is Vectored Thrust  |
Mid-summer in the South. Late Friday afternoon. I was flying as a wingman from Seymour Johnson AFB to NAS Oceana for the weekend. The lead had briefed dropping onto a low-level route on the way there but it was clear that the weather wasn't going to let us do that, so it was going to be a strictly administrative flight. The weather forecast was for scattered but strong thunderstorms enroute, typical summertime weather. Being a short hop, the lead filed our flight plan for the low 20's in altitude. Took off and joined up quickly and proceeded to the route filed. About half way to Oceana we flew into a solid layer of clouds. I was joined up nice and tight in parade formation like a good wingman should be. I could hear the lead talking to Center trying to get us a steering out of the weather as there were thunderstorms all around and, being IFR, we couldn't see them to ask for routing around them (for those that don't know, the earlier versions of the AV-8B Harrier didn't have radar). As we're waiting on Center to give us a heading to avoid the storms the clouds are getting darker and thicker. I'm tucked in just as tight as I can get with my canopy just a few feet from his wingtip. My lead's aircraft gradually goes from a Harrier to a ghostly silhouette with formation lights to a green wingtip light... and then disappears. My first thought was "it'll show back up in a second" but then training took over and I took an immediate turn to away and descended a couple of hundred feet to avoid a potential mid-air. I called "lost sight" to my lead so we can begin to try to reestablish the formation, but before we can do that all hell breaks loose. I'm suddenly engulfed in a torrential pounding rain. The rain is pounding so hard on the canopy I'm truly concerned that the canopy will shatter. Lightning flashing all around and black as pitch. That goes on for what seemed like an eternity but after about 30 seconds or so I pop out of the clouds into the clear. After contacting Center on my front radio to get a squawk (IFF code) and my lead on the back radio to work on joining up again, I look back to see a nasty, angry thunderhead popping in the background. All the rules strongly advise not to fly through a thunderstorm, and even though I don't think I hit the worst of the storm the part I went through was more than enough and proved why those warnings are there. (Incidentally, my lead and I joined back up and proceeded on to Oceana without further incident. Upon landing and post flight inspection of the jets, my Harrier has no paint remaining on all leading edges of the aircraft - nose, wings, intakes, elevators, tail - all of it was stripped down to the basic composite material. My leads aircraft had a bit more paint on it but the lens and glass cover for the Angle Rate Bombing System in the nose of his plane was shattered). Icarus flew too close to the sun, but at least he flew. | |||
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Almost as Fast as a Speeding Bullet |
I've had some crazy ones, but given what I do, that's an expectation really, so I don't really bitch about my worst times as a pilot or passenger. This guy, though, he tops anything that has ever happened to me, and though it is admittedly been around the net for a while it beats anything I have. Apparently it has also been verified as being a former Goldman Sachs investment banker, though I didn't dig that far. For me, all I really need is to read to it hear the ring of truth.
______________________________________________ Aeronautics confers beauty and grandeur, combining art and science for those who devote themselves to it. . . . The aeronaut, free in space, sailing in the infinite, loses himself in the immense undulations of nature. He climbs, he rises, he soars, he reigns, he hurtles the proud vault of the azure sky. — Georges Besançon | |||
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goodheart |
Otto, your post serves the same purpose as a Jerry Springer episode: things may have been awful for me, but thank God there’s someone who’s had it much worse! My own episode took place on a Hawaiian Airlines flight home from Oahu to Maui—so a short flight on an airline with a spotless record, in perfect weather. My problem was personal. That morning I’d had a shockwave lithotripsy to break up a kidney stone; and had to fly from Maui to Oahu as they didn’t do the procedure on Maui. Only problem was I now had 2 stents in my ureters and a Foley catheter in my bladder, and the bag was getting full. Kicker was that my wife didn’t have a seat next to mine. I was in agony. _________________________ “ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne | |||
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Flying in helicopters in Viet Nam taking fire. Flying in a C-123 in Viet Nam with an engine on fire. Stopping to refuel a Bell Jet-Ranger at high altitude in the summer with the temperature over 100 degrees. It would not lift with four of us onboard. We had to run alongside until we got up enough speed to take off and hop one. Flying commercial out of Reno and reaching cruising altitude when a baggage door popped open. My ears popped about two hundred times in a couple of seconds. U.S. Army, Retired | |||
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Southwest, Midway to Hartford. Storm. Sitting next to engine, it got hit by lightening. Like standing next to a canon. Then the dumbass runs out of fuel. Landed in Concord. Got all my money back and more for a rental. | |||
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Getting stuck in the middle seat on a 737 between two really (!) big guys, from Phoenix to Atlanta. | |||
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Mine is along the lines of the OP, but for different reasons. First wife was being transported from CHS to Newark via a life flight (cancer) on a Lear Jet. I really couldn't hold it any longer and the only solution on the lavatoryless plane was a red biohazard bag. I had to pee into a bag in front of my sister in law, 30 minutes before landing. Needless to say, I was embarrassed, but relieved at the same time. -.---.----.. -.---.----.. -.---.----.. It seems to me that any law that is not enforced and can't be enforced weakens all other laws. | |||
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