quote:

Originally posted by 1967Goat:
Back in March we had our annual neighborhood meeting. There's basically 1 road that goes around my neighborhood. A 2 mile "loop" many folks walk during the day. One of the topics that came up was some folks were noticing quite a bit of dog poop around the neighborhood.

The very next day I am sitting on my couch. I see a female jog by with a dog. The dog stops for a few seconds and does his thing. Female keeps jogging. I go outside to see if the dog pooped, or just peed. There's a fresh pile of dog crap, about 12 inches from another, older pile and 25 feet from 2 more piles near the end of my driveway. I do not have any pets.

The jogger is now 200' or so away. I yell, "Hey, you forgot to clean up after your dog!". She tells me, "I'll be back later." Yeah...sure. I go into an expletive laced tirade about I don't shit on your lawn, don't shit on mine. How she is a "disgrace" for not cleaning up after her dog. Man I was pissed off.

About 45 mins later 4 people show up in a car. Turns out she was 13! UGH! All 4 (mom, dad, younger brother and her) get out of the car. She gets out and cleans up the fresh pile, but leaves the older pile that is a foot away (and looks like it came from the exact same type of dog).

Her father expected me to apologize for swearing at his daughter. Well, that didn't happen and dad I get into an argument as well. Me yelling that I don't shit in his yard, etc... A very bad scene. I am actually kind of embarrassed it happened. I tell him I have 4 fucking piles of dog shit on the edge of my lawn and I don't even have a fucking dog! He tells me the other 3 piles are "not from his dog".

2 days later I go to the grocery store and pick up several pieces of fluorescent pink poster board and made some signs. 3 signs were placed above the 3 remaining piles of dog shit with an arrow pointing down that read, "PLEASE CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOG!!!".

My yard also has a station of about 7 "community mailboxes" and I stapled a sign up made of the same fluorescent pink poster board and black Sharpie that read, "BE RESPECTFUL, CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOG!!!!"

2 days later I was sitting on my couch again and I see mom and lil brother walking up the street. They stop and pick up the pile of dog shit that was next to the pile I saw the dog leave. After they left I went up and noticed the other 2 piles were gone as well. I took my signs down.

I think the 13 YO got the hint. In retrospect, my method could have been better...a lot better. Had I known the girl was 13 I would not have cursed at her from afar, but it really pissed me off when she said she'd be back later. I think I found the source of the dog shit the neighbors were complaining about. Funny, I haven't seen her jogging by my house since that happened.

Looking at your poll, #4 is what I did, but I voted #3, a little more adult-like.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I'm a monkey, so...

quote:

Originally posted by lopezp:
I prefer the "sacrificial handshake" method. It's kinda gross, but that's why you need to prepare mentally for this show-stopper. You see, you're going to conduct surveillance until you know who's dog is leaving turds on your driveway.

When the dog poops in your yard, you're going to rub the palm of your right hand in the poop. Not much, but just enough to coat the inside of your palm. It's okay. You can do this because you're already mentally prepared to have poop on your hand.

Once a thick later of poop is inconspicuously hidden in your palm, you're going to run up to the owner and initiate small-talk, preceeded with a firm handshake. Don't let go. Give it a couple overzealous pumps.

It's gross. It's gonna stink. But remember, you're prepared so it doesn't bother you. Your neighbor on the other hand will be mortified and terrified of you simultaneously. Why? Because he is not in the correct mental state to have poop squished in his hand.