- Rant On -

Going to have a Super Bowl party this year and invite two close couples to meet the girlfriend.

Couple A is coming, but the wife insists on bringing her 16 year old daughter because, “The Super Bowl is like a holiday and I don’t want her home alone!”

- Please -

The husband called and let me know the circumstances, the dude is like a brother to me so I want him here for the game, but my god.

I’ll never understand couples who cannot go anywhere without their kids.

They’ve taken 3 cruises and a trip to Mexico - always take her. It’s pretty clear she is the glue they holds them together-

This is the couple that “always” has to have plans Friday/Saturday. Always.

In hindsight it’s not that huge of a deal, it’s just the Super Bowl and I’ll have plenty of food/drinks and 2 large TV’s going on separate floors, but come on.

- Rant Off -

I know a couple that buy their vehicles , around their dogs parameters,
because he ( the dog ) always has to go everywhere.

16 is not really a "kid". Must have been some kind of Super Bowl party?

Yeah, a 16 year old girl will be sitting in the corner glued to her phone for the entire event. Pretty much a non-issue.

Now if you were talking about their annoying 2-12 year olds, I get that.

If you invite them again, tell them not to bring their kid. If they listen, great. If they get offended and don't come, too bad.

It depends on the kid, but I don't think bringing a 16 year old is a big deal. A 10 year old or younger could be a pain...…...chances are the mom is insecure and doesn't trust the 16 year old daughter out of her sight.

Thanks for the perspective guys I appreciate it.

And as I think about it, you were right. She will be sitting in a corner somewhere on her phone the whole time.

Someone has to fetch the sammiches and beers...

We don't go anywhere without our kids. We're a family and that's kinda part of the deal. They aren't old enough to be left home alone and trust worthy sitters are hard to come by around here.

We've been invited to a variety of parties over the last few months. We didn't attend the adult ones, but did attend the family oriented ones. I wouldn't foist my kids on an adult party and would expect the person doing the inviting to understand why I didn't attend.

If my oldest was 16, I'd leave him at home by himself.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
Thanks for the perspective guys I appreciate it.

And as I think about it, you were right. She will be sitting in a corner somewhere on her phone the whole time.

Why not have a thing or two available for her benefit? (Food, game, headphones, etc.)

I wouldn't object to a 16 yo. As a parent, I was pleased when my kids wanted to do things with me.

I wouldn't want the distraction of young kids, but I never minded older kids who, either participated in the party as football fans, or sat in the corner with a phone and were quiet. What I don't (or wouldn't) like is a little kid who would be a distraction from the purpose of the party. Then again, I see a superbowl party as fundamentally different from boy's poker night.

Lots of couples divorce once the kids are out of the house (or grown up) because they never really founded their relationship and it held in due to the kids need parenting & it masked the marriage issues.

I can see both sides of this one. It's not always appropriate to bring kids along, and it's not always possible to find arrangements for your kids. Personally, if it's an adults-only affair and I can't find childcare for my daughter, then I just send my regrets and don't attend. I like to go to fun events with family and friends, but I don't ever have regrets about staying in for an evening or day to have time with my daughter (although you guys will have a grand time poking fun of me for getting down on the living room floor and playing barbies with her).

I always invited my son and daughter to SB games. I never asked permission from the hosts and non of them gave a shit. Both of the kids liked to watch the game and never made a fuss. Probably from the stink eye they would get from their mom. At any rate they could handle the adult speak and didn't require supervision. Does this 16 YO require special attention? If not I wouldn't worry about it.

quote:

Originally posted by Patriot:
Someone has to fetch the sammiches and beers...

Great point - tip her a dollar or two a couple times and say "Thanks sweet cheeks" or similar.

Have you priced out babysitters lately? That shit ain't cheap.

We have a son who is about to turn six. We have no family here, and we love being together as a family. So, on exactly three occasions so far, when family members were visiting who offered to watch him for the night, we went out just the two of us. It felt weird.

I guess if he were sixteen and wanted to stay home alone, I'd be fine with it, but for a social evening event like the Super Bowl, I can't imagine not at least asking if it was ok if I could bring him along. He might enjoy it and I might enjoy it more with him around. I love my son. Sharing fun occasions with him makes them better for me.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:
Have you priced out babysitters lately? That shit ain't cheap.

We have a son who is about to turn six. We have no family here, and we love being together as a family. So, on exactly three occasions so far, when family members were visiting who offered to watch him for the night, we went out just the two of us. It felt weird.

I guess if he were sixteen and wanted to stay home alone, I'd be fine with it, but for a social evening event like the Super Bowl, I can't imagine not at least asking if it was ok if I could bring him along. He might enjoy it and I might enjoy it more with him around. I love my son. Sharing fun occasions with him makes them better for me.

Until we moved back to the DFW area that was the same boat we were in. Now that we have three it's burdensome even for grandparents to watch the group due to their young ages.

I can see both sides though, depending on where everyone is in life. We have friends that by the time their kids were 8 and 12 they were leaving them alone while they went out for the night. Literally couldn't wait to be rid of the kids so they could go hit up the bars etc. That was sad to see.

On the reverse side of that my wife and I both went into this marriage wanting kids and agreeing (for the most part) on how we'd raise them. One of those things was that we wanted to spend as much time together as a family as possible.

I do get though how it's annoying for folks that either don't have kids or the kids are grown to try to schedule around friends that are in a different phase of family life.

We have four kids, all grown up now but our youngest three were pretty close together.

When we went to a gathering or went out, it was as a total family since those were the type of people we had as friends.

If we wanted a couple's night out, our friends who also had children watched ours for us & we reciprocated. Once our kids hit the 14-15 year range, they pretty much never wanted to go anywhere as a family regardless, maybe one would go to the movies with us, that pretty much was the deal for the last several years.

As others ask why she's here, keep a positive attitude and an upbeat response. You'll be viewed as nice to accommodate their request. (Something like - it was really important to them - I said she would probably be bored around adults but figured my other guests wouldn't mind.)

The other couple, well, other guests can reach their own conclusion/view.

I've got grown kids. I understand the comments above regarding cost of babysitting and enjoying having the kids around. But I never invited a kid to someone's party. (We did decline a few invitations because the party did not include kids). Another thought - by age 16, my kids were at a superbowl party with their friends.

As a child, we always went to Super Bowl parties with our parents. It was an event, and kids were welcome.
As parents ourselves, we typically decline invites that aren’t kid friendly, or I go alone. It’s nothing personal, we’d just rather hang with our kid the majority of the time. He’s pretty cool, and we wanted him in our lives. We have limited options on babysitters, and prefer to just hang back, but I definitely could understand an adult only party.
I doubt she’d be trouble, though, and at 16, maybe she just broke off with her boyfriend or had a tiff with friends and her family is trying to occupy her time with healthier options.