I suggest there's a third:screaming kids in restaurants. Doesn't matter day of week or whether restaurant is upscale or not. Happened again last evening with people we don't see that often and were looking forward to a pleasant dinner and conversation. Not happening. We deliberately chose a week night hoping for once we'd escape this menace.

A close second is cell phones in movie theaters.

Home sweet home is becoming more true than ever.

People can't parent any more. Too many hippie ass new age parents who want to be friends with their kids and "understand" them, blah blah blah.

Control your kids. Period. Anyone who is a parent has had that moment when their kid becomes a total ape shit meltdown basket case. I get it, it happens and it's embarrassing and infuriating. But that's an occasional thing when they are toddlers, but it's not a pattern of behavior it's an anomaly and usually corrected hard and fast and removed from others.

My son learned quickly when he was younger I didn't give a damn if we were in public I would correct him then and there, and if for some reason mom intervened to stop me, well that only made it worse because you have to go home with me at some point, and now I'm stewing on it

Maybe next time politely suggest a babysitter or go somewhere kids aren't welcome. If they get offended, then unfortunately you may have to write them off as friends.

I read the op as kids belonged to other diners and were ruining the atmosphere of a pleasant adult gathering, not children of the couple they were with.
Either way, yes it drives me up a wall. Especially when the hostess seats me (single) or my group (all adults) next to the toddler(s) when other seating is plainly available. "Easier for the waitress" is not my concern.

One of two things would have happened were I those children. First, I would have gotten my ass beaten, in front of everyone. Second, if the rents were in a good mood, I would be out in the car with no dinner.

I consider myself very lucky in that my two kids tend to be very well behaved in public.

My 6 year old has been testing the boundaries a bit more lately, and when he crosses the line he does push ups. Doesn't matter if it's at home or out in public. We were at the Renaissance Fair the other day when he talked back to his mother. 10 push ups in the dirt while all of the fair goers observed. It's slowly sinking in. Hasn't happened at a restaurant yet.

quote:

People can't parent any more.

Yup. They had their spawn a phone and think that their 'duties' as a parent are over.

+1 on the shitty parents ruining the dining experience of everyone else, and let us not forget the chicken shit managers who won't speak up or toss 'em. Heck, screaming isn't even "that bad" any more as it's usually both screaming and running around.

I'll add another certainty - if there are two empty middle seats on an airplane and there is an attractive female and a 275 lb guy boarding late then the 275 lb guy will be assigned the empty seat next to me.

Not to mention that to many busybodies, the slightest amount of disciplining one's children is seen as child abuse.

Here's another life certainty. Every store checkout line I get in will have something happen to delay me. Examples include, but aren't limited to, the clerks suddenly deciding to have a shift change, somebody paying with loose coins or a check, problems with credit/debit cards, an item not entered into the system and needing a price check, the clerk underage and not being able to check out alcohol.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: egregore,

I used to feel sorry for parents with bratty kids until I had my own. I would not tolerate that shit from my kids. As infants when they cried I hustled them outside until they calmed down or ate my meal in the car. I had kids late in life, and enjoyed FINE DINING. I took the kids and got looks from the crowd. They were surprised there were NO issues, and complimented me on my children. The Maitre d knew my kids by name and we would get good tables.

These days it is a problem with some parents. I will simply leave. Dining should be a pleasure and social occasion. I cannot control other people and their children. I have no good solution except to eat at odd times and very high end places. One thing about the wealthy in general is that they teach their children social skills, or they hire somebody to do it. The working poor generally do a pretty good job, although they often slap the shit out of their kids to accomplish the task. It seems to be the middle class yuppie professionals who are problems. JMHO

quote:

Originally posted by wolfe 21:
I read the op as kids belonged to other diners and were ruining the atmosphere of a pleasant adult gathering, not children of the couple they were with.
Either way, yes it drives me up a wall. Especially when the hostess seats me (single) or my group (all adults) next to the toddler(s) when other seating is plainly available. "Easier for the waitress" is not my concern.

I have absolutely no problem in telling the "hostess" that I/we would prefer a different table.

We are the customers, and we have the final decision where we want to be seated.

And I agree that parents should be parents and not "best buddies" with their kids.

Our daughter was a pretty strong willed kid when very young and decided that she was not going to go to bed, age about 2 1/2. Big battle in which Dad finally spanked her bare bottom. At which point she promptly went to bed and to sleep. Never had that problem again.

My in-laws got their asses up when we were there while I was on my way to Iran. Spirited discussion about raising our kid and spanking.

Their position was that it was not necessary and my daughter would hate me. Yeah, that is why she cried every night for her daddy while I was in Iran.

No need to brutalize a kid, but very, very often there is a need to get their attention and show them where the boundaries are.

What Elk said:

quote:

I have absolutely no problem in telling the "hostess" that I/we would prefer a different table.

We are the customers, and we have the final decision where we want to be seated.

Of course, he (Elk) is almost as old and crusty as I am. We're both in the "old enough not to give a shit" stage of life.

Isn't it just cute when little Johnny is screaming his head off and doing sprints around the restaurant, while the 425 pound land sloth parents act as if this behavior is normal and they could care less to tell Johnny to sit the fuck down and shut up.

quote:

Originally posted by a1abdj:
I consider myself very lucky in that my two kids tend to be very well behaved in public.

My 6 year old has been testing the boundaries a bit more lately, and when he crosses the line he does push ups. Doesn't matter if it's at home or out in public. We were at the Renaissance Fair the other day when he talked back to his mother. 10 push ups in the dirt while all of the fair goers observed. It's slowly sinking in. Hasn't happened at a restaurant yet.

What happens if he refuses to do push ups?

I'm not asking to be a smartass, but because I genuinely like your idea and want to see how it works.

Had something similar happen to me about 10 years back or so.

The kid was about 3 or 4 years old and started as soon as they were seated. We received our salad a moment before. I asked the waitress for the manager, who came over about the time our main courses were set on the table. I explained the situation to him and he explained to me how it's not his place or restaurant's policy to parent children and their (the other couple) kids do this all the time.

When I explained we are leaving (the now ex-wife had enough of the noise too), the manager called the waitress over to get our check. Then I explained to manager with some body language even a deaf person could understand - the couple with the screaming kid could pay for it as they were the ones who ruined our meal or he, the manager, could eat the costs and we walked out.

Never been back there.

We just got back from supper. With two of our grandkids. The 5 YO has no volume control, or not much control over it. He's getting better as he ages. Just as bad was the 11 YO yelling at him to be quiet. Objectively, neither was that bad and mostly they're actively civilized now. Its cost me a bundle taking them out to get us to this point. I think today's problem was allowing the young one to amuse himself with a Kindle while our food was cooking. Or maybe taking the young one along. He needs to learn to behave.

I wasn't too mad because he was sitting up against me the whole time. Grandpa's tend to like that.

And generally, little girls behave better than little boys. Not always, but usually.