I will buy your house. Email sent.

LOL responded

This is the house.
http://www.pbase.com/dsgrouse/house_rental

We also have tried renting houses to people.

Never, and I mean NEVER will we do that again.

I was on an expatriate project for a year and a half. Did not want to sell the house, wanted to come back to it.

Rented it to somebody who worked at the same company.

A member of our motorcycle club who lived nearby was a hard-nosed purchasing agent for a big company. I paid him fifty bucks / month, to stop by my house every month, give it a quick eyeball, collect the rent check, and deposit it in my bank account.

No problems. Everything worked out just fine. Maybe I was just lucky.

You more interested in price or terms if you sell?
I’m intrigued. Wife and I trade notes.

Merldizzle, sorry for the belated reply. Give me a call.

425 three O one 0790

Huh,

passive agressive is getting an email on the 10th of a month.

"The light bulb in the fridge is not working."

On the 15th

"the light bulb in the laundry room went out"

on the 20th

"the garage door opener battery died"

on the 25th

"the toilet flapper is causing a water leak, the city shut off our water till it is fixed"

on the 30th

" we have not eaten in 10 days, or drank any water in 5 because we can see what is in the fridge. Nor can we leave the house to get groceries, nor have we washed our clothes because we can't see in the laundry room. "

Our response on the 10th, 15th, 20th, 25th, 30th.

"2.1 The renters are responsible for wear items under 100 dollars in retail value. Such items include but not limited to lights, toilet parts, batteries for security sytems and garage doors."


And NO i am not fucking kidding about the email stream.

Complaint: "We have not eaten in 10 days."

Response: "I admire your self control. How much weight are you trying to lose?"

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
Complaint: "We have not eaten in 10 days."

Response: "I admire your self control. How much weight are you trying to lose?"

At that point, the bullshit is so deep what can you do. We just quote the lease agreement.

My wife and I are living in a rental house after being property owners from 1978 to 2015.
The owner wanted us to put a check in his account each month and I suggested we do a wire transfer which he accepted. We renewed the lease and he has now written that as form of payment he accepts.

I fix small thing and only tell him when he comes to town.
Our lease states we must change furnace filters each mouth and supplies them and I must trim palms away from side walk.
HOA sent a notice of some dead branches that needed to be trimmed. We had trimmed them and trash had hauled them away by the time the letters arrived. Owner called and told me he would be in town to take care of and I told him already done.
When we have a larger issue I call him and asks HOW ARE WE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THIS ?

I treat the house and property like I own it and he seems to apricated it.

The house is now up for sale. What a relief, to be at this point.

I rent. Recently I went through the fridge, replaced the water valve, the lines, installed a water filter. No charge to the landlord. It's not my fridge. Same for his washer. I've installed filtration systems in the kitchen, added a drinking faucet, and repaired a bathroom fan yesterday. The only major items he's addressed in the last eight years were the air conditioning unit (we paid half) and he replaced the water heater. It was aging. I've done the roof, grounds, insulated the garage door, fixed cabinets, and maintained the home. He's been here twice. In eight years. He also knows that we treat the house as if we own it and take care of it accordingly; he doesn't have to worry. In those eight years, rent has never been late, never been skipped.

Conversely, we came here after eviction from our previous place. We were evicted because the landlord quit making payments, and when we asked him, he insisted that he get his rent, that nothing was wrong. He insisted, up until the day we moved out. He never visited the property, either. Not in six years. It was maintained perfectly, however, from door locks to lights to air conditioning to water. I treat for insects, clear and trim brush, and do everything that needs to be done to a house, including some minor improvements, with permission.

Not all renters are bad. I've had plenty of poor landlords, though.

quote:

NO i am not fucking kidding about the email stream.

That's some funny ass shit, minus the fact you have to deal with it.

Did the take the light bulbs and batteries out when they left?

No, but there were about 10 lights out. Both of the new garage door openers did not work. So i replaced 70 light bulbs with color matching led bulbs, and 2 new garage door openers.


Lots of calls today from realtors.

Your house is under priced.

I know, i am the one who priced it at 625k.

My broker says he can get 800k for it.

Really? That's awesome, so here is what we will do. Your broker can buy the house from me at 625k, and sell it at 800k. We both make shit tons of money. Sounds good right?

Um, that's not how this works.

It is if he can really back up that 800k. Have a nice day. Toodles.

congrats - you've moved from idiot renters to idiot realtors. Fun!

It has been a couple of days. I have added the following to all our for sale adds. I have dealt with a couple of hundred phone calls since the add went up Last Thursday.

quote:

Home will be shown to pre-qualified buyers only. For sale by owner, NO REALTORS. When I say no Realtors, I do mean that I will not sign with you as a listing agent, use you as a broker, use your investment services, or any other shenanigans you can come up with. I am willing to work with buyers agents provided the offer includes their commision.

So i recieved my 4th or 5th Investment broker call. The general gist of these guys is they are looking for people who are about to loose their home. I have heard it called predatory buying. Good racket if you can do it I guess. They offer to buy the house for what you owe, then they flip it.

The convo goes like this.

i am a dickless fuck, i want to confirm info on your home.

Sure thing, nice to meet you DF.

How many rooms, bathrooms, sqft, garage.

5,3, 3200, 4car

Any repairs needed?

No DF, everything is in great order.

Would you do owner carry, or lease to own.

Would you DF?

What?

What?

I am confused.

yes I think you are. No, Standard buy it sale, Standard cash or bank loan only.

Oh. Would you consider selling it for what you owe?

DF, are you serious?

yes, I can have a check to you by friday.

Wow that is interesting DF.

(very excitedly) let me get my broker.

Senior Dickless Fuck gets on. We can have a check to you on friday MR DSGrouse.

SDF, i think you miss understood. I don't owe the bank money. I owe the President of US banks home loan division 3 earth-shatteringly good blow jobs. So if you want to buy the House, you will have to go to US banks head office and blow the President of the home loan division. Now, I can't just accept your word that you will give 3 earth-shatteringly good blow jobs. So, you will need to film it, and have the home loan division vote on weather they are earth shattering.

SDF, what the hell?

Me, Exactly, stop wasting my time you dickless fuck.

You are screwing with the unholy triumvirate of REALTORS, Brokers, and appraisers.

They grease each other in unnatural ways and will do anything to screw you for a quarter.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
You are screwing with the unholy triumvirate of REALTORS, Brokers, and appraisers.

They grease each other in unnatural ways and will do anything to screw you for a quarter.

That right there are the closest human uttered words worthy of being written as gospel. pardon me if i paraphrase.


"Thou shalt not meddle in the affairs of the unholy trinity. Realtors, Brokers, and Appraisers of land, homes, or goats. If thou doest, they shall violate you with said goat." 1:1 Rhino

I had more shenanigans last night. It seems that craiglist has a very low bar for reading comprehension and general understanding of the home buying process. My add was flagged down for (prequalified buyers). Then I spent several hours reading on why saying pre-qualifiers was discriminatory . Ant that one should not need to be prequalified to buy a house. Now i am not sure if this is just related to normal Seattle socialist dumbassery, or if it really is the education level of this nation. I suppose it could be both.